• I Know What an Onion Looks Like

    Today we had a potluck at work and I signed up to make a turkey pumpkin chili. You know what I hate about recipes on the internet? You have to scroll for hours through a bunch of unnecessary gibberish before you get to the actual recipe. I don’t need a backstory about your dish and…

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  • The Floor is Lava

    After searching high and low for weeks, I finally bought a beanbag chair. Yes, I realize it’s 2019. But when you’ve got a wood-paneled 1970s-era basement filled with lava lamps, records, and a beaded curtain, what else are you going to put down there? A rocker-recliner?! Perish the thought. I suppose a waterbed would have…

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  • Skiff-Scoff

    Perspective is a funny thing. I was talking to my brother recently, and he complained about how cold it was. “I was freezing today!” he said. “Our high temperature was only 63°!” My reaction to that? I had to stifle a laugh, because I glanced at the thermometer next to my chair during our call…

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  • Go Ugly or Go Home

    Monday, we were instructed to wear ugly holiday sweaters to work for a company Christmas card photo. I didn’t even own one, but a quick trip to Kohl’s over the weekend solved that dilemma. I picked out the most garish sweater I could find. I mean, that’s the point, right? Go ugly or go home.…

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  • Snow is My Pizza

    If anybody is looking for an idea for a Christmas gift for me, I’m a size large snowblower. The National Weather Service was predicting 8-12″ of snow for Rapid City on Saturday. There’s no way we’re going to get that much, I thought. Well, I was right. We ended up with 17″ of snow. And…

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  • White Knuckles

    I was bitching this morning about having to go to work on Black Friday, but alas, I have ended up working from home. Which still isn’t not working, but at least it’s working in the comfort of sweats. One of those split-the-difference scenarios, I guess. For the record, I tried to go to work, but we have had freezing…

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