• Ope, did I just manifest The Todd?

    We went into Madison over the weekend to cash in the $50 World Market gift card we won in the Holiday Market church raffle in December. I hadn’t been to a World Market in ages, didn’t even realize they’d removed Cost Plus from their name, so I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to…

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  • The novelty of pink milk.

    We have done the unthinkable and hired a lawn service. I should clarify: this wasn’t unthinkable to me. It was quite thinkable actually; I’ve pushed for this since we bought the house. But Tara has been against the idea, mostly because she doesn’t want a lot of chemicals in the yard—especially near the garden. Totally…

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  • Annual chocolate milk and trails of wonder.

    One day last week, I grabbed the mail and ended up with a surprise that left me feeling very antsy. I am not proud of my reaction. I’m purple in this text exchange, Tara is green. To be fair, I was not expecting to find the contents of my mailbox swarming with ants, so instinct…

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  • You’ll know you can always go on Ricki Lake

    I forgot to share a humorous anecdote from Springfield (which was already a week ago; wow!). Friday morning, after checking out of the crappy motel, I was in need of coffee, so I stopped by Starbucks. Sadly, one thing the PNW lacks is Dunkin’, which in my opinion is superior. I didn’t look up Starbucks…

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  • Don’t have a cow, man!

    It’s nice to have a claim to fame. For Springfield, Oregon, that would be Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, and a motley crew of misfits. In a 2012 interview, The Simpsons creator Matt Groening admitted that Oregon’s 8th-largest city is “the real Springfield.” Sure enough, they lean hard into the whole Simpsons vibe, with murals…

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  • Playing tourist in my hometown.

    It’s a weird feeling, returning to a place you spent a significant chunk of your life after being away for eight years. I feel almost like a tourist at times, excitedly pointing out places and things I once took for granted. The amount of glee I felt for a freakin’ road—”OMG, State Route 14!” I…

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