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The Best Surprises Involve Sand Between the Toes
Saturday morning I woke up and Tara was standing by the side of the bed, yanking the covers off me. “Get up,” she said. “We’re going to the beach.” “No, we’re not,” I mumbled sleepily, confused by my wife’s declaration. She was going into the office to get some work done. We had no plans.…
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Raspberries Aren’t Blue!
Last night, I impulsively bought a Slurpee from the corner 7-Eleven. I hadn’t had one in more than twenty years. After about three or four sips, I dumped the whole thing out because I found it disgusting. This surprised me; growing up, I loved Slurpees! In retrospect, I shouldn’t be too surprised. I got the…
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My Mom’s on Facebook! Well, Kinda…
This weekend, I was bored. So I did what any self-respecting adult would do in order to pass the time: I created a fake Facebook account for my mom, and whiled away the hours posting witty commentary that could only come from her (well, allegedly). I even “liked” her favorite things (Say Yes to the…
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Keep Portland Weird
Portland’s unofficial motto is “Keep Portland Weird,” and that’s a reputation the city proudly strives to live up to. Between the chicory-pilfering sous chefs and the battle between the machete-wielding stepdad and the kid who defended himself with a garden rake, there’s plenty of weird to go around. But even I was unprepared for this particular sight a…
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Hardly a Hot Rod
For last week’s Throw Back Thursday (#tbt) post, I shared a picture of my first car. Here she is, in all her glory. To my utter amazement, one person commented, “that car is AWESOME!” I can only assume she was being sarcastic, because my first car was anything but awesome, whitewall tires notwithstanding. Hell, I was…
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Welcome Back, Barney Miller
I’ve got a new routine in the morning. Since I’m usually up really early, thanks to my dear wife (who thinks setting the alarm clock before 5 AM is a good idea), I’ll grab a cup of coffee and settle down on the couch to watch an old sitcom. By “old sitcom” I mean one…
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Mark My Words 