• A pleasant juneberry buzz.

    First things first: That was Tara’s sister commenting on Facebook after reading how mortified she is whenever I swipe a glass. It turns out Little Miss Innocent ain’t so innocent after all! Thank you for that, Jessie. I was wondering where those cool plastic Chili’s shakers came from! I also apologize to my mom and

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  • Justification is my superpower.

    I’ve got a confession to make: I’m a thief. But apparently, my mom is to blame. My crime involves pilfering glassware from restaurants and bars. And maybe I’m trying to put lipstick on a pig by using a fancy word like pilfering, because at the end of the day, theft is theft, no matter how

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  • Five days of solotude, zero mishaps.

    Tara arrived home today exhausted after a red-eye flight that deposited her in Milwaukee by way of Atlanta (?), and I was there to greet her. Well, kind of; I was waiting in the cellphone lot, and when she texted that she’d retrieved her bag, I drove all of 20 seconds to pick her up

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  • Morals are great, but I’ve got bills to pay.

    One of my writing assignments this week was creating content for a firearms manufacturer. The topic? What is a Forward Assist on an AR-15. Good hell. That’s like asking a vegetarian to write an ode to the Big Mac.  Do I like guns or even know the slightest thing about them? Hell, no. And assault

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  • This dog walks into a bar…

    My parents are back home, which means life has returned to normal. For a few days, anyway. Tara is headed to Nevada on Wednesday for her sister’s wedding. Initially I thought I’d be dealing with an aging cat with multiple health issues, so we decided it was best I stay behind. Sadly there is no

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  • Speaking words of wisdom: leaves of three, let it be.

    I’m sure you’ll recall my recent mosquito rant. It seemed like every time I went outside, I’d return with literally dozens of bites. I began to take drastic steps to combat this. My dad always wants to play corn hole (bags) whenever he visits, for instance, and I didn’t want to deny him his fun,

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