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Who Needs Walls?
Last week, my company announced a holiday decorating contest. The next day when I showed up to work, one of the RM’s offices was decorated quite festively. This fueled my competitive spirit and gave me the itch to get in on the action. But with an open office layout and a desk that is in…
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Tell Me, Don’t Show Me
I have a weird mental block when it comes to the stove. For some reason, I can never figure out which knob controls which burner. Ever. Not a week goes by where I don’t accidentally turn on the wrong burner, thinking that my pot or pan of whatever is heating up when, in fact, it’s the…
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Live on Channel 8
I hate to admit this, but I may be turning into a curmudgeon in my old(er) age. Friday night, Tara and I decided to drive into downtown Portland for the Christmas tree lighting ceremony in Pioneer Square. Sounded like a great idea at the time. We’d grab a prime spot up front and enjoy the festive…
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No Bright Colors in the Zombie Apocalypse
I was watching The Walking Dead last night and made an interesting observation. Not sure if I ever noticed it before, but for some reason there are no bright colors in the zombie apocalypse. Everybody is cloaked in gray. This lends an eerie ambiance to the show, but a one-dimensional wardrobe is not very realistic. I…
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Buying an Island
You know how you sometimes hear about billionaires buying their own islands? I’ve decided I need to do that, and have implemented a two-part plan to make it happen. Turns out it’s a surprisingly simple and straightforward process, too: Easy-peasy, right?! I don’t know why more people aren’t going this route themselves. Why an island, you…
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I’m a Lizard
Text conversation between me and my brother last night… Him: Hey, is a hot dog a sandwich? Me: Nope. But a burger is. Him: It’s the same thing. Bread, meat, condiments. Me: No. A hot dog bun is connected, but a burger bun has two separate sections. A top and a bottom. That’s what makes…
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