My Future as a Bitcoin Miner is in Jeopardy

I learn a lot when researching stories for CenturyCo…and often that knowledge seeps into my personal life. Case in point: after writing a holiday article titled Tis the Season to Use Wi-Fi, I realized how efficient and convenient smart technology could be around the house. And we upgraded to smart plugs, bulbs, and timers to improve our Christmas light experience.

What can I say? I latch onto these things I research and I’m like a kid yearning for a cool new toy. This is fine when I’m writing about smart appliances, but not so much when it comes to miniature cows.

“Our backyard is not big enough for a cow, babe,” Tara said.

“Even a tiny one?” I wondered.

She just looked at me and shook her head. As if I’d never come home with a wacky idea before!

My latest landed right in the middle of the spectrum, halfway between a smart power strip and a miniature cow.

“I think we should invest in Bitcoin!” I declared when she walked through the door after work on Tuesday evening. I had researched and written an article on cryptocurrency that afternoon and was giddy with excitement over the idea of making a fortune on virtual money.

“Yeah, no,” she replied.

(If you’re not from the Midwest, ‘yeah, no’ means no. ‘No, yeah’ means yeah. All clear now? Good.)

“Why not?” I asked.

At which point, she rattled off a list of surprisingly valid arguments against crypto mining. Risky, a magnet for illegal activity, bad for the environment, yadda yadda. I was impressed, but still had an ace up my sleeve.

“OK, but how much do you know about blockchain technology?” I asked. Rather smugly, I might add. Surely, she was as clueless as I had been 48 hours earlier.

She was not as clueless as I had been 48 hours earlier.

“Quite a bit,” she said.

My wife is an intelligent woman, well-versed in current events, but I was skeptical.

“Explain it to me then,” I said. “Pretend I’m somebody who doesn’t have a clue about what it is.” As I had been two days earlier, but I left that part out. Surely, she wouldn’t be able to describe blockchain technology in coherent fashion.

She was able to explain blockchain technology in coherent fashion. Who knew?!

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I asked another friend what she knew about blockchain, and her reply?

“Umm…it’s a compound word?”

This is what I get for marrying a smart woman. It’s okay; intelligence is sexy, even if it means I can’t subtly invest in Bitcoin or fill our backyard with a herd of miniature cattle. Not every woman I’ve been in a relationship with has had brains. One gal I dated got into an argument with her 10 y/o daughter because she insisted Guy Fieri (Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives) pronounced his name “Fee-airy” while her much younger, much brighter kid correctly stated it was “Fee-eddy.”

Man, what a stupid thing to get into a fight over, huh? I’ll take brains and blockchain knowledge over ignorance any day of the week.

And it’s not like I lose every battle. Our front porch light has 16,000 different colors and can be controlled from my smartphone. Take that, incandescent-bulb-loving neighbors!

24 thoughts on “My Future as a Bitcoin Miner is in Jeopardy

    1. That’s what is advertised! Meaning it’s probably 2,000 subtly different shades of yellow, 2,000 subtly different shades of blue, 2,000 subtly different shades of green…


  1. I think a miniature cow would be a great addition; but in the winter, he/she would need to come inside. It’s a pet for heavens sake.
    I know a little bit about bitcoin. (we had to purchase a boatload to pay off ransomware) I couldn’t tell you anything about blockchain; Tara is the smartest of them all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha! The miniature cow sounds cute – and you’d have ready access to your own fertilizer (if you’re gardeners).If you’re not, your good lady may be on the winning side – again 😉

    Here’s another vote for a duo display on Bitcoin please!

    Liked by 1 person

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