Mr. Sassypants Strikes Again

We were having our weekly marketing meeting over Teams last week and my boss said I was being sassy.

(He wasn’t mad or anything. He laughed when he said it.)

This followed my comment in which I told D, my supervisor, “Sure, I’ll have that assignment done before noon. As long as you don’t drone on and on during this meeting.”

You know you’ve reached a certain comfort level at your job when you can let your true personality show. For me, that involves sarcasm. Whenever you start a new job, you’re on your best behavior for a while. You toe the line, play nice. You don’t suggest, during a brainstorming meeting to come up with a campaign announcing faster broadband gigabyte speeds, that the company adopt the slogan, “Just a GIG-olo.” Or that, in order to achieve employee buy-in for a new customer experience (CX) initiative, we all wear t-shirts that say, I Want Your CX.

But 15 months in, when you’ve gotten to know your coworkers and feel comfortable in your role, you aren’t afraid to go for broke and let a little sarcasm fly, if that’s your jam.

As long as they keep laughing and giving me decent performance reviews, I’m going to keep at it.

Guess we’d better figure out how much we’re going to have to pay David Lee Roth and George Michael’s estate in royalties.

Before I forget, I owe my parents an apology. Remember how I said they paid me a genuine writing compliment for the first time ever recently? And mentioned that they would read that and object?

They read that and objected.

I never meant to imply that my folks aren’t anything but supportive. They are. And yes, they have complimented me before. They were just extra enthusiastic this time around, so: my bad.

We’re currently sitting in the basement on a quiet Sunday morning. There’s a fire in the hearth and we’re sipping coffee while listening to Eric Clapton’s Unplugged on our turntable. Tara just told me he’s an anti-vaxxer. Sigh. Damn shame, but I won’t stop listening to his music just because he’s an idiot.

Ted Nugent can still kiss my ass though.

This weekend has been fairly uneventful. We aren’t planning much next weekend either, aside from the Super Bowl (go, Bengals!). We’ll probably head to Fort Collins for a mini-getaway the weekend after that, since Covid ruined our Beetle Burn plans. Weather-permitting, of course, but I doubt that will be an issue. It’s been warmer and drier than average for going on two years now and we’ve had very little snow to speak of, even though the eastern third of the country has been getting walloped.

Of course, now that we have plans that weekend, we’ll probably end up with a blizzard.

In other exciting news, I bought a smoker!

Well, ordered a smoker from Amazon. It’ll be here on Thursday. No rush; we may be having a mild winter, but a windy 42º still isn’t conducive to smoking meat. It’ll be a couple of months before we can really use it.

I’ve wanted a smoker for years. Christmas Light Kelly’s hubby, Joe, has one, and the scent of smoked meat occasionally wafts across the street while he’s cooking. It’s enough to drive a man insane.

Unlike Bitcoin investing, Tara was all in. So, I started researching smokers. I’m a guy who researches the hell out of pretty much everything before I buy. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. I spent an hour last month reading reviews on men’s slippers before committing to a pair. I’m sure it’s an ingrained habit since so much of my day-to-day work involves research.

When I first started looking at smokers, I was sure I wanted an electric one. They’re easy to use and dependable. But, after consulting multiple sources and reading dozens of reviews and comments, I actually decided charcoal was the way to go. This surprised me, but I like to keep an open mind. Charcoal smokers, I learned, are the trickiest to master—there’s a learning curve to maintaining the proper temperature—but once you know how to work ’em, they deliver the best results.

So, I bought this guy.

It’s almost enough to make me wish winter away so we can hang out on the patio and smoke some brisket and ribs!

39 thoughts on “Mr. Sassypants Strikes Again

  1. Ex husband used to smoke meat. All the men in the neighborhood would always make an appearance. I also used to work for someone who was always out on the competition trail. He had an entire rig for smoking. Not sure he ever won anything. I assume you’re going to FC for the beer and not the university life? Although they probably go hand in hand don’t they.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fort Collins is our go-to anytime we want to stop up on a good variety of beer/liquor or make a Trader Joe’s run. And we always hit Raising Cane’s. It’s close enough to be a fun and quick getaway to a larger metropolitan area whenever we’re craving the big city!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m probably the only person on the planet who doesn’t like the flavor of smoked food. So while I’m happy you’ll enjoy your purchase, please set aside a smokeless rack or two for me when I drop by for a beer. Feel free to drop your old Nugent albums in the fire while you’re at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Years and years ago, my manager brought in a colleague of his to my cube and said “talk to her, then you’ll understand what sarcasm is.” :O I decided to go with “when there’s an option to be in doubt, take it as a compliment” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Only an hour’s research before buying slippers? Amateur! I live with a researcher – there is nothing which isn’t worth months of research. When the decision is really expensive, the research can go over a year 😀 Hell, even when he’s made a decision and bought, we’re still watching youtubes on the subject. I’ve yet to work out if he’s seeking some form of validation or because he’s certain there’s yet more to learn about the subject. As a result, I know waaaaaay more about stuff I have absolutely no interest in.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That looks like Andy’s smoker. In which he made an excellent kalua pig yesterday.

    Sometimes there’s a lot of smoke when he’s getting the fire going, but he considers it a perk…especially when it goes into the cop neighbor’s yard.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Not overly enthusiastic about Eric Clapton’s anti-vaxxer nonsense, but like you I’ll keep listening to his music. Of the same opinion as you about Ted Nugent, though. Around my part of the world it’s ‘Who Dey’ everywhere I go. Kind of fun to see some football joy in these parts.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The husband had wanted a smoker for years, too. He finally bought a new grill last summer and it has a smoker section. He loves it. By the way, the first thought that popped into my head when I read “I bought a smoker” was you paying money for some guy with a cigarette in his mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve often wondered why it takes me so long to show my personality at a new job or in new social situations. So many of my colleagues, friends and girls I’ve dated always make a comment on how they had me all wrong. I guess I seem like a pretty serious person upon first and second and twentieth impression, though I’m actually a standup comedian, but fairly focused/introverted in my day-to-day job.

    It makes me wonder how often I might misread people based on a first or second impression.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m exactly like you!

      Other than the standup comedian part, of course. Not that I haven’t thought about stepping up to the mic from time to time and trying to make people laugh.

      My crippling anxiety over public speaking always puts a kibosh in those plans.


  9. There are kinder ways to say “drone on and on”…btw, that isn’t sarcasm..saying “you were so succinct and eloquent” would be sarcasm. As a Brit, I know how to be sarcastic


  10. I love your kind of sassy! I think DLR needs all the press he can get, so he should pay YOU to promote that record. 🤣

    I always say to my friends, you know I like you if I’m teasing you. If someone can’t take light ribbing, then maybe we weren’t as good of friends as I thought. Keep on sassing!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Teasing is a sign of affection. The sassier, the better!

      And you’re right. David Lee Roth hasn’t been relevant in a long time. I’ll reach out and bug him for royalty checks if this whole campaign thing pans out.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was truly upset when Eddie passed. While I always preferred DLR’s singing over Sammy, Eddie was always ‘my man’. I was sad to hear about his lifelong battle with alcohol and stage fright. So talented, yet so many problems.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. ‘Ally Bean sent me’ and of course you did, too. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Fort Collins – I am sure my husband and I fell in love with a beer there once. I will ask him what it was. The name involved a four digit number if I recall. I love a bit of sarcasm, too. Especially in the workplace.

    Liked by 1 person

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