I feel sorry for weather balloons. Anytime somebody wants to deflect from the truth, they immediately blame the poor, innocent weather balloon. I’m surprised Oops, never mind, it was a weather balloon isn’t a meme.
Oh, wait. It is.
Spy balloon spotted over Montana? Not so fast, the Chinese say. It’s just a weather balloon.
This is nothing new. Weather balloons have been scapegoats for as long as weather balloons have existed. They’re the original government coverup. I’m surprised some conspiracy theorist hasn’t blamed the JFK assassination on a weather balloon. It was probably launched from the grassy knoll by the second gunman.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the Roswell incident in New Mexico. In 1947, a flying saucer was captured by the 509th Bombardment Group at Roswell Army Air Field after crash landing on some poor dude’s ranch. At least that’s what military officials claimed, and it made front-page headlines. The next day, that explanation was walked back.
It was actually a weather balloon, they said. Our bad.
Five years earlier, in Feb. 1942, air raid sirens sounded over Los Angeles when the Imperial Japanese Army Air Force was spotted offshore. The U.S. Army Coast Artillery fought off the mainland attack with anti-aircraft fire in what was dubbed the Battle of Los Angeles. Chaos ensued. Buildings were damaged and five people died. Decades later, amid Japanese denials that they had ever flown airplanes over L.A. during WWII, the Air Force concluded that the real culprit was…you guessed it…weather balloons.
As a fella with a strong interest in meteorology, this bugs me. I wish people would stop blaming weather balloons all the time! They’re like the Rodney Dangerfields of the sky, I’m telling you. Weather balloons get no respect. What have weather balloons ever done, besides carry sophisticated instruments aloft to monitor atmospheric pressure, temperature, humidity, and wind speed? They’re up there for the good of mankind, dammit, warning us of approaching storms and potentially saving lives.
Some things deserve scorn. Like drunk drivers and MAGA supporters and Crocs and Nickelback. Weather balloons do not. Give them a break already!
I always joke that I’m a fountain of useless information, a modern-day Cliff Clavin thanks to the articles I write covering every topic under the sun. I could probably kill it at trivia, I wrote in a blog post last October.
Last Thursday, I killed it at trivia.
Actually, we killed it at trivia. My wife gets half the credit. We wouldn’t have Team MarTar without the Tar. Nor would we have Booze Clues, our trivia team.
I always feel like we’re at a disadvantage when we play bar trivia, because it’s just the two of us. Last week, we were seated next to a team of nine. That’s a helluva lot of brain power there. They’d huddle after each question, discussing answers, and more often than not, coming up with the correct one. They were, in fact, the eventual first-place finishers. I think the next smallest team after ours still had four people. We play trivia just to have fun, but I’m not gonna lie. Winning rocks, too.
We finished in third place, but that was enough for $10. Paid for a round of beers. And given that there were a dozen teams total, all with more people than we had, I feel it’s a respectable showing. Especially considering we moved up from 7th place on the last question by betting the maximum, 20 points, and nailing the answer that most other teams — even the nine-person brain trust — missed.
The question was, which soft drink once used “Out of the ordinary” as a slogan. No, it wasn’t 7-Up or Pepsi or Fanta or Jarritos or any of the other multiple choices offered.
I’m a Pepper, you’re a Pepper, he’s a Pepper, she’s a Pepper, and the answer was Dr. Pepper, too.
What I like about this particular trivia (Mr. Brews in Fort Atkinson, Thursdays at 7 p.m., be there or be square) is the fact that they sprinkle in clues with the music they play. Take the first question, for instance. Which part of the eye regulates the amount of light entering? And then they played “Iris.” The freakin’ Goo Goo Dolls, man. My most-listened-to artist on Spotify for two consecutive years. No way was I getting that one wrong. Not every song is a clue, and not every song that is a clue is that obvious. But some of them are. You really have to pay attention. It just adds an extra layer of fun to the whole experience.
Granted, we don’t play trivia very often. This was only our second time since moving to Wisconsin, and we played in Rapid City just a handful of times. Probably because it’s held on weeknights, and we’ve gotta go to work the next day. Makes for a long night and an early morning. But sometimes you gotta cut loose (footloose!), even if it is a Wednesday or Thursday night.
Do you play trivia? What is something you believe deserves scorn? Do you think UFOs exist, or are they really just a bunch of errant weather balloons?
Mark My Words 
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