Painting isn’t rocket science.

When we finally got the keys to our new house and started buying paint and supplies, I said to Tara, “I don’t know why some people make a big deal about painting. It isn’t rocket science.”

No, it’s not. It’s harder.

With rocket science, you just have to punch some coordinates into a computer and let the machine do the rest. Your rocket is basically on auto-pilot the whole time, dodging asteroids and untethered cosmonauts and “weather balloons” before reaching its final destination, be that the Sea of Tranquility, the moons of Saturn, or the Martian surface. Easy-peasy.

Painting, on the other hand? Neither easy nor peasy.

It’s actually a pain in the ass. Even before you ever pick up a roller or brush, you’ve got to decide on colors. And you can’t just pick, say, orange. There are 180 results for that color alone on the Clark+Kensington color palette, and good luck deciphering the names. I kind of get African Lion, Hawaiian Sunset, and Aged Terra-Cotta. At least I can reasonably envision what those look like. But what color is a Southern Belle? And, c’mon…Make Me Laugh? Sing Along? Imagine? Dreamer? All actual paint names that might as well be commands or song titles.

And can you really put a color on Wedded Bliss?

Pro tip: never look at paint samples on an empty stomach. After perusing Chilled Gazpacho, Apricot Butter, Toasted Cashew, Baguette, Peach Cobbler, Caramel Corn, Shrimp Bisque, Pumpkin Latte, Buttered Rum, Mac ‘n Cheese, Sweet Potato Pie, Acorn Squash, Layered Cake, and Sourdough, I’d worked up quite an appetite. I could no longer remember whether I was planning a menu for the Mother of All Dinner Parties or choosing wall colors.

God help me, don’t even get me started on something as simple as white. THERE IS NO COLOR WHITE IN THE WORLD OF PAINT. Instead, you have to figure out the difference between Eggshell and Frost and (probably) Virginal Bride.

Then, once you’ve chosen your colors or gone insane, you have to start the actual painting — assuming you’ve done the prep work, like spackling (that’s an entirely separate blog post) and priming. Sure, you think the painting part is going to be easy — Mr. Miyagi sure made it look cool — but suddenly you’re contending with accent walls and ceilings and edges. You’ve got to put tape up around the closets, windows, baseboards, and trim. And then, apparently, you’re supposed to remove said tape while the paint is still wet, otherwise you’ll pull it off in long strips and have to re-edge. Which, by the way, is my least favorite chore in the whole process, none of which thrills me to begin with. Because no matter how careful you are and how fancy the tools you use, it’s impossible to get a perfectly straight line on 90-degree corners.

Oh, and did I mention you’re likely to have to do all of this at least twice — if not three or more times, depending on how dark your colors are — because one coat of paint is never enough, not even for a “white” ceiling.

Which is why it took me four days to complete a single room. Granted, these weren’t 8- or 10-hour days. I spent a few hours every evening after work on the room that will be my home office. And I probably could have made it easier on myself if I’d chosen a single color instead of three separate ones and just left the ceiling alone. But, all that grumbling aside, I have to admit it turned out looking really nice.

Before
After

Those four walls and a ceiling took a grand total of seven coats of paint. My reward for all this? A sore neck, bruised elbows (that carpet is rough), and paint-splattered hands and clothes. But I figure I’ll be spending three days a week staring at those walls, so they’d better look good. Once I hang up some rock ‘n roll posters and add a lava lamp or four, it’ll feel nice and cozy.

The one saving grace? Since we’re replacing all the flooring, we didn’t care about paint splattering onto the carpet. Adding drop cloths to the mix would have sent me over the edge.

My sense of accomplishment will be short-lived, however. This afternoon, I’m turning around and tackling the master bedroom and basement. Time waits for no man, you know?

Wish me luck and bring me Advil. Or something stronger.

65 thoughts on “Painting isn’t rocket science.”

  2. Boy, you nailed it (no pun intended with the home improvement terms). Painting is NOT for the faint of heart. I was chuckling in agreement the whole way through, as I read. Your office looks great though! Good luck on the next go-round! 🎨🖌️

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  3. I am not a fan of accent walls and I like neutral or light colors to keep my house from being dark. Bring on the paint can of My Mormon Fiancé! You’re like the polar paint color opposite of me, but I do envy you the lack of drop cloths. We have hardwood floors and when we paint, it’s tape and tarp central. That’s probably why we haven’t done it in forever. Well, that and the fact that we are still in the era of the soccer ball being kicked around indoors.

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  4. Seven coats of paint? That is a lot of time to spend in one room mucking about with one, or in your case two, colors. Well done, though. Looking forward to seeing your next room, but no rush.

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    1. Three colors, actually. You can’t really tell from the photo, but the ceiling is a different shade. Two coats for that, two coats for three walls, and three coats for the dark accent wall.

      I am 99.9% sure the rest of the rooms will go a lot more smoothly. And we’ve got all weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the painting is done by the end of next week. Sure hope so!

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  5. OMG I had to laugh! I am the painter in our house, and finally narrowed our bathroom down to “birthday cake” and “peach truck” (no, actually it was something else but I was thinking of the peach truck) Your room looks great though! It’s kind of (non) instant gratification! and it will last awhile, unlike mowing the grass or doing laundry. Good luck, I’m thinking of a facelift for my office but dreading the taping and ceiling. We have glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling……

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    2. Long ago we had a lake cabin and when I finally got my own bedroom after an addition to the “one big room” concept I did ask for Peppermint Stripes! Sadly it didn’t happen 😉

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      2. The walls and ceiling had some sort of trim work, probably to hide the plywood joints because there was never going to be sheet rock- it was a lake cabin after all. The general pattern then was all laid out, however dad (for some odd reason) chose to put those trim pieces in a checkerboard pattern on the ceiling. That sort of clinched the NO WAY decision on painting.

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  7. Aged wisdom for you Mark- painting so intensely was what screwed up my neck and back and why I can’t lift anymore- among other things, but it was high on the list of causes. Do be careful- you probably won’t see the overall outcome physically until years later. I know and understand that sense of accomplishment in doing things yourself as a homeowner. Sometimes it’s just not worth it and time to get out the checkbook 🙂

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    1. I suggested to Tara maybe we should hire somebody. But we are already so far in, we might as well just finish it ourselves at this point. I will say this: you make a compelling argument for not moving anymore. Like, ever again!

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      1. And maybe letting someone else do the repainting when it’s time while you sit in your recliner with a cool drink…:)

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  8. While I enjoy outdoor painting I cringe when attempting it inside. I try to be careful… I really do. But windows, doors and trim are paint magnets I swear. No matter how much I tape I always get it where it’s not supposed to be. Which now that I think about it.. is probably why all our walls are white.
    Nice job though. I’m envious.

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  9. We’ve painted a couple of interior rooms in our past, and I truly loathed every minute of it. I have vowed never to paint anything again aside from a mailbox post or an outdoor decoration. That being said, there is a current discussion about potentially painting the shutters around the windows. Since it is outdoors, I may let my guard down and green-light the project. If so…which shade of green??? Sigh.

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  11. I am not looking forward to this . We have to do two houses soon ; the one we are moving to and the one we are leaving. I will be seeing paint cans and equipment in my dreams.
    Your room looks great !

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  12. When I first saw the red splotches on your hands, I wondered how you could have possibly injured yourself painting, lol. The new colors look good. Regarding tape, I loved painting up my house back in the day and would forgo any kind of tape in favor of freehand painting. Tedious, yes. But somehow the longer time required to paint freehand far outweighed the drudgery of all that prep and masking.
    -Jason

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    1. Ha! It does look like I just wandered away from a crime scene, huh? No more tape for me. After a couple of friends said “tape is for rookies” and Tara thumbed her nose at the very idea, I decided to just skip the whole process. It’s so much easier without worrying about that!

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  13. Tell us (me) the name of your colours. Must this question be asked? Or did I miss it reading this post? (I’m in the car in a Niagara Falls’ parking lot of an arena, looking at the directions to the hotel).

    My favorite colours remain Benjamin Moore’s “garden stone” for the walls and “cloud white” for the ceiling.

    Also, I would love to have the job of naming paint colours. 😎

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    1. The basement is Play Ball and the master bedroom is Waterview…which are kind of tame in comparison to the oranges (we sampled Sunset Ridge but decided against it). I don’t remember the names of my office colors; that was Behr paint from Home Depot. But Clark+Kensington definitely has the best names.

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  16. Hate. Loathe. Detest. Despise. There aren’t enough words to describe my feelings about painting rooms. The prep work alone… don’t get me started. The prep is the worst part. Painting ceilings should be considered a form of torture akin to water boarding. The office looks great, though, and soon it’ll all be a distant, distasteful memory. The reward is everything you get to do after the paint dries: decorate!!! Let the fun begin!

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    1. But how do you really feel about painting? You kind of left that open to interpretation…

      Making great progress this weekend already. I only worked on ceilings yesterday, but today it’ll be all walls, baby!

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  20. There is so much to love about the post so I’m sorry it comes at the expense of your neck, back and, elbows. “Can you put a color on Wedded Bliss?” And “once you’ve chosen your colors or gone insane” and “(probably) virginal bride.” I’m chuckling. Makes me so appreciate all you do for this blog.

    But your office looks great. And I think it’s totally worth having great colors – so I’m applauding all your efforts. Which is a lot less helpful than lending a hand but at least its moral support! Have a great weekend!

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  21. After several years, Kenn and I determined that painting works best if he helps with the prep work and then leaves me alone to do the actual painting. I’m a big fan of Behr brand paint-and-primer in one; I was sold when I was able to use one coat of a pale green to cover a *dark* teal. I also feel your pain – my next painting project will include painting over wallpaper that can’t be removed without harming the wall. Ugh. Lastly, I picture Southern Belle as being a peach color but I’m probably biased since I live in the Peach State.

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    1. Actually, my office pictured here is Behr paint. We chose that initially, but Ace Hardware is two minutes away versus 25 minutes to Home Depot, and Clark+Kensington gets really good reviews.

      You’re probably right about Southern Belle, actually!

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  22. You forgot to mention the worst nemesis of all when it comes to painting. . . Removing wallpaper and trying to smooth out the damage that leaves behind! It’s how words like ‘skim coat’ have entered my vocabulary. I’m with you; it’s the prep work that make’s painting such a chore.

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  24. I can relate. I’ve been doing some repainting lately. Imagine all that you’ve mentioned, but also having to work around appliances and over shelving with awkward reaches, moving stuff out of the way and cluttering up the rest of the house, etc. It was easier the first time around, without the furnishings…
    The good news is, I’m using a similar shade, so a lot of coats aren’t needed.

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  25. There was a time, way back when, that I actually liked painting my walls. Now? Not.so.much. The prep work is so tedious and I realized that I’m a messy painter, so the clean up is a b*tch!
    Good luck to you!!

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  26. Oh I missed this one somehow. Aren’t paint names totally absurd. I’m guessing Virginal Bride was a really good colour for you, otherwise that name would surely put you off even looking! I’ve never taped edges, because I once had a boyfriend who was a professional painter & decorator and he taught me how to cut in. It’s a really useful skill, although I wish I’d never admitted to having it after being drafted in by my mother to do the edges of her VAST living-dining room which had white coving and baseboards, but walls & ceiling in terracotta. She then decided to change it to a dark dusky pink! I was cutting in for eons… The third colour change, I told her to pay someone else to do it!

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