I’m the only member of the marketing department in the office until Thursday. Everybody else on my team is basking in sunny Fort Lauderdale.
Actually, they’re not basking. They’re conferencing. Which makes me feel a little better about being stuck behind. And if I’m being totally honest, I’m not much of a Florida person anyway. Heat, humidity, bugs, and 80-year-olds wearing black socks up to their knees don’t really do it for me.
I wouldn’t mind seeing a manatee, though.
Why am I not there with ‘em? Well, somebody has to hold down the fort, and naturally that falls to the low man on the totem pole, a/k/a, Mark.
I’m okay with that. For starters, I get to park in my boss’s spot right in front of the door without fear of recrimination. I can dress more casually. And, if I happen to roll in a couple of minutes late, who’s going to notice?
(Sadly, I’m punctual to a T. “Late” to me is arriving three minutes early. I guess just knowing I could without worrying about losing my job will have to suffice.)
And, sure, they get Florida this week. But next week, I am traveling to an exotic location of my own for business. That’s right, guys: I’ll be in EASTERN SOUTH DAKOTA from Monday to Wednesday! And, I might actually do a little after-hours basking. Ha!! Who’s having the last laugh now?!
By the way, my status as low-man-on-the-totem-pole is about to come to a crashing halt. We have a new designer starting in two weeks after our old one retired. He’s actually somebody I know. A guy I worked with at Ye Olde Publishing Company. In fact, I might have been instrumental in getting him on board. I’ve never referred anybody for a job before; doing so is risky, because if they miss a few deadlines or end up embezzling millions from the company coffers, you’ll look like an idiot. Granted, you’ll look like more of an idiot if it’s the latter, but still.
I was willing to take that risk for the lure of cold, hard cash.
And okay, I honestly think New Designer Guy will do a bang-up job. I wouldn’t have referred him if I thought he was doing lines of coke in the men’s room.
Heroin’s where it’s at anyway.
I kid. NDG has the very skills CenturyCo was seeking. AND he’s a fellow Broncos fan, so we can put a little heat on the Packers plurality happening in my department. The referral bonus is just that: a bonus. I’d have recommended him even without free money.
NDG can’t start soon enough. Today, I got a request from an employee in Wall to redo a banner that was created in CMYK. Two thoughts:
- WTF is CMYK?
- Redo it to what?
That request only landed in my inbox because everybody else is in Florida (see above). I had to gently let her down by telling her I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Seriously, I know diddly squat about graphic design. In fact, whenever we’re voting on logos, layouts, or other design pieces, I am always the odd man out. I like the ones everybody else hates. They hate the ones I like. Ergo, I try to stay in my own lane as much as possible.
Writers write. Designers design. And never the twain shall meet.
Tara and I spent the weekend in Deadwood. We did a little drinking and a little gambling. OK, a lot of drinking and a little gambling. But that’s what birthday celebrations are about (and, in my experience, you get a better ROI anyway).
The highlight was the new Brothel museum. Deadwood has a long and storied history of prostitution, which was legal there from 1876 to 1980. Damn the do-gooders for shutting it down, I say! For $15 you get a 45-minute guided tour of a former brothel, with various rooms depicting different eras. We learned the stories of both the working girls and the madams who made (quite a good) living catering to the miners, bankers, journalists, and everyday Joes who paid for the pleasure of their company.
You’ve gotta love Deadwood.
OK, question time! Are you planning on basking anywhere this summer? Have you ever referred anybody for a job, and if so, how’d that work out? Ever been to a brothel? (I don’t expect many answers to that last one!)
Mark My Words 
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