Impractical Joker

I have always loved April Fools’ Day. I’m a practical joker by heart, so it’s a “holiday” that’s perfectly up my alley.

Over the years, I’ve pulled some killer pranks. Like the time I created a fake note from Rusty’s first-grade teacher announcing that he’d been expelled from class. His mom was LIVID and started yelling at him. Rusty was in on the whole thing and played the role of disaffected six-year-old perfectly. Still surprised my ex fell for that given the fact that this alleged note was written in purple crayon! Then there was the time I switched everybody’s office and cubicle name plates at work. The VP of Sales became a Customer Service Representative, the Human Resources Director was demoted to Custodian, etc. Best of all was the time I called a former coworker who had been hired F/T after starting out as a temp. I announced on Facebook one year that Tara and I were calling it quits because things just weren’t working out. Guess I’ve always had a bit of a perversely evil streak come April 1! People don’t always respond well to being suckered. But that’s what makes it so fun!

One thing I had never done, however, was write an April Fools’ blog post.

Until yesterday, that is.

Which is my way of telling you no, I did not get suspended from work for surfing for porn! Inadvertently or otherwise. Some people were onto me from the start, but others fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I’m sorry if you were one of the gullible ones, but know that even though I may have been laughing my ass off, I appreciate your concern! I hope you’re a good sport about it and we can still be friends despite my little white lie. 😊

And if you follow me on Instagram, no…we did NOT find an armadillo in the backyard and adopt it as a pet! They are definitely not native to these parts.

My coworkers were a little confused about the change to the white board in our lobby when they arrived yesterday morning. I’d simply taken the liberty to replace the real tenets (“Less is more,” “It’s about them, not us”) with updated ones that Navin R. Johnson would appreciate.

Damn. I was on fire Thursday. Maybe Brion was right, ha.

In all fairness, I’m not the only one who was busy pranking people yesterday. Some of my favorite companies got in on the act, like Jerry’s Cakes and Donuts.

And Culver’s.

And Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels.

Half the world is up in arms about Volkswagen’s fake press release about rebranding as Voltswagen, but I thought the whole thing was hilarious. People need to chill out. I also didn’t buy it for one second, even though the announcement came a day early in order to really throw people off. I think when you’re a natural-born practical joker, your guard is automatically up against that sort of thing because you kind of assume everybody else is trying to prank you!

My favorite April Fools’ joke of all time occurred in 1957, when the BBC television show Panorama aired a segment that showed a Swiss family harvesting spaghetti from a grove of trees. It included footage of women collecting strands of spaghetti and placing them in wicker baskets before laying them out in the sun to dry.  

The narrator, respected anchorman Richard Dimbleby, explained that the 1957 harvest was expected to be particularly bountiful given the near-eradication of the destructive spaghetti weevil pest, and that March was always a touch-and-go month for spaghetti farmers due to the possibility of a late frost that might impair the flavor of the pasta.  When hundreds of viewers jammed the BBC’s phone lines to inquire where the could find a spaghetti tree of their own, the BBC’s official response was, “Place a spring of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

That’s just genius.

19 thoughts on “Impractical Joker

  1. LOL, I missed your blog post yesterday and now I’m glad I did not waste sympathy on you.

    The armadillo on Insta had me about to write, “OMG, Mark! Leprosy! PUT IT BACK!” until I saw some of your loyal followers had already called you out.

    I used to do pranks, but I think my heart is just not in it this year. Or maybe after having a kid. I’ll leave the jokes to him (he totally nailed his father one April Fool’s Day).

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, indeed. Leprosy-causing bacterium is carried by nine-banded armadillos in Louisiana and Texas. Not usually found in figurines, though, so I think your mom is okay.


  2. Omg, that video is priceless! I can’t imagine the idiots that believed it, but with that clipped no nonsense British narrator it seems legit.
    As for your prank, I don’t know how I missed the porn post. Bet the comments were pure gold. Totally disappointed you didn’t adopt a ‘dillo though.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Didn’t even see the post from yesterday until I just now went back to read it. A little over the top perhaps Mark? Especially the image of rotten lettuce burned into my brain

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you think that’s over the top, my original idea was to write about how the wildfires shifted track and burned down our house. That just seemed a little too cruel and tempting-fate, though!

      Better an image of rotten lettuce burned into your brain than some of the images that accompany that urban slang term. Just sayin’.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Totally off topic, but I’ve been meaning to tell you that Dot’s Pretzels appeared in our area at Xmas and I bought bags for my kids’ holiday gift baskets and everyone loved them! Esp. my pregnant daughter! I then bought some for myself and they are indeed delicious! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can see how you enjoy playing all of these practical jokes, Mark. I agree with your word ‘perverse.’ It is fun when companies get in on the act. Good grief on the rebranding of Volkswagen…….we need a dose of humour. I recall the spaghetti segment. Still funny. My Dad was a great one for April fool’s pranks……..phoning neighbours to come over and see the new kittens….our cat was not even pregnant. Yet, the joke is on him…after 3 daughters, my brother was born on April 1st and no one believed how my Dad now had a son.

    Liked by 1 person

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