Mark My Words

You know it’s been a hot stretch when the feels-like temperature is 96° and you think, wow, it’s really cooling down.

Wednesday was not that day. Wednesday was the third day in a row in which the weather was dreadfully hot and insanely humid. So, what did Mark do on Wednesday? Like a dumbass, he went hiking.

Though to be fair, the heatwave was expected to last all through the holiday weekend, so any day would have been uncomfortable.

But I was determined to suck it up and check out Wyalusing State Park, at the confluence of the Mississippi and Wisconsin rivers in the extreme southwest corner of the state. I’d originally planned on going Thursday or Friday, but I had to drop Tara off at Dane County Regional Airport for her flight to Nevada bright and early Wednesday morning. Madison is about 45 minutes closer to the park than Fort Atkinson, and I’m all about efficiency, baby, so I decided to head straight there after dropping her off.

Two hours later, I arrived at Wyalusing. On a stifling hot and muggy morning in the middle of the week, the park was basically deserted, which was nice (though it means there are a lot more people with common sense than yours truly). But I was prepared, with two water bottles and a change of clothes.

Wyalusing is known for two things: caves and scenic bluffs. I crossed them both off my list.

The hike to Sand Hill Cave was fortunately short, just 2.2 miles out and back, but I had sweat pouring off me within the first 90 seconds, and clouds of mosquitoes swarmed my every step. Luckily, I had Deep Woods OFF! and that aforementioned change of clothes back in the car…

…but when I went to retrieve them from the trunk, I discovered one of the water bottle lids hadn’t been properly fastened, and naturally I’d had it resting atop my backup t-shirt and shorts. The bottle was empty and the clothes were drenched and unwearable.

Best laid plans and all that jazz.

But hey, kudos to me for smartly bringing along that second water bottle, which remained tightly sealed. It’s kinda like that scene in Contact, when the fanatical religious extremist blows up the transportation machine, presumably ruining the mission, but then there’s a big reveal where we learn that the reclusive billionaire funding the whole thing secretly built a second machine. Whew!

(Contact is a really good movie.)

Despite the heat and bugs and perspiration, the trip was worth it, because I have five days to kill while Tara’s away, and I am not programmed to be idle. I find it impossible to just sit around the house without going mad, preferring to get out and do things. Wyalusing State Park was a bucket item list I was happy to check off. And I plan to return in the fall, when it’s 1,000 degrees cooler.

On my way home, I had two stops to make. The first was Rural Route 1 Popcorn, which we had stumbled upon back in March. Holy crap guys, their popcorn is good! But Montfort ain’t exactly a hop, skip, and jump from our house. It just happened to be conveniently located on my drive home, so I loaded up.

By now it was lunchtime and I had worked up quite the appetite, so I pulled off the highway in Dodgeville and found my way to Bob’s Bitchin’ BBQ, whose slogan is, So good you’ll lick your napkin. I didn’t personally lick anything other than my chops, but the 50/50 sandwich (half brisket, half pulled pork), sweet potato fries, and Bloody Mary certainly hit the spot.

The barbecue itself was fine (I personally think our place in town does better brisket, and the pulled pork I smoked on Memorial Day was way superior), but Bob’s sauces live up to their name. They had six flavors available, and I tried them all. It’s hard to pick a favorite–every one was pretty damn tasty!–but the BrewBQ (made with New Glarus Spotted Cow ale) slightly edged out their hickory-smoked Original. It was a little tangier and less sweet, which I prefer. I was also impressed with the RBQ, which is made with Sprecher’s Root Beer. The root beer flavor really came through, so if you’re an RB fan and enjoy a sweeter sauce, you’ll love this one.

Thursday’s adventure was less physically taxing. When Tara’s aunt and uncle from San Antonio visited a couple of weeks ago, they picked us up some tamales. These were so good, we hopped on their website to order a bunch more…but cancelled the transaction because the shipping alone would have cost $130. I’m sorry, but no tamales are worth that much!

“Surely, we can find good tamales in Wisconsin,” I said.
“Maybe so,” Tara replied. “And stop calling me Shirley.”

She’s a big Airplane! fan, that one.

Turning to my most trusted source, Reddit, one name kept popping up: El Rey Foods, a chain of family owned Mexican grocery stores in Milwaukee. I remembered them from Top Chef Wisconsin. Figuring a 75-minute drive was a much smaller price to pay than the exorbitant cost of flying in tamales from Texas, I ventured out there on Thursday morning.

A coworker of mine is a big fan of El Rey, and told me I had to plan my trip around lunchtime, because there’s a small cafe tucked in one corner of the market with excellent tacos. I always trust the locals, so I did as he suggested.

I almost immediately regretted this, because the process was super confusing. What I thought was the line to order was actually the line to pay, but it took me several minutes to figure this out. One kind employee tried to tell me this, but her accent was so thick, the language barrier proved insurmountable. I had no idea what the hell she was saying, so I did that thing where I smiled sheepishly and nodded my head so as not to make her feel bad. She wandered off and another woman with an equally heavy accent attempted to set me straight. I finally got it when she whipped out a piece of paper with a list of menu items and gestured to a table. Good lord, I felt ridiculous. And ridiculously caucasian, but then again, I was the only white person in the whole market. Honestly, I took that as a good sign, and you know what? My coworker was right. The taco plate was damn good…and the frijoles were the best I’ve ever had, anywhere. Period.

I can’t vouch for the tamales yet, as they’re currently in my freezer, along with a bunch of other goodies I picked up. But I have high hopes based on the food I did try.

Tired of spending so much time in the car, I decided to stick closer to home today. Took a walk downtown and just barely made it back to my car before a thunderstorm rolled in. Hit the grocery store after. I have no plans for the 4th or 5th, other than lounging around, working in the yard, and drinking Bloody Marys. I won’t even bother with fireworks. Even I get adventured out after a few days.

Evenings have been nice. I’ve been cooking my favorite meals-that-Tara-doesn’t-like, watching movies, and chilling with the cats. Since you’ll ask: pork adobo, chicken mole, True Romance, and Gone Girl. Laverne and Shirley you know.

I do miss my wife though, and will be happy when she returns on Monday.

How are you celebrating Independence Day (or Saturday, if you’re in another country)? Got any movie recommendations for me?