After my epic Christmas-light-hanging FAIL on Sunday, my dear wife took pity on me.
“You know, we don’t have to hang lights this year,” Tara said. “We can just enjoy our neighbor’s!”
This might have appeased me if said neighbor hadn’t thrown down the gauntlet on Sunday. Which wouldn’t have happened in the first place if she didn’t read my blog, and that wouldn’t have happened if we weren’t Facebook friends. Talk about a vicious circle, and I can only blame myself. Man, I should really stop being such an open book!
“No way!” I replied. “Have you seen Kelly’s house lately?!” And with that, I leapt from my chair and dramatically threw open the living room curtains with all the fervor of an actor seeking Oscar gold. “Look how she’s taunting us, babe!”

“Who says she’s taunting us?” Tara asked.
“Kelly herself says!” I cried. “It’s all right there on Facebook!”
Don’t believe me? The proof is right here in black and white. Witness this exchange that occurred following my blog post, in which I sort-of blamed Kelly for making me get up on that ladder in the first place because of their festive decorations.
OK, no sort-of. I totally blamed her.
K: Those festive friggin neighbors how dare they. In a pandemic no less!! Oh by the way. There’s a million more to hang up we’re just getting started ![]()
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Me: Great. Now the pressure’s really on! Wish we had a nice, low roof like yours.
K: We just threw down. The ball, or should I say lights, are in your court.. ![]()
Me: Leah gave me the name of a company they use. The game might just be back on!!
K: But wait.. I’m not sure it counts if you pay someone because… the cheese factor we have by doing it ourselves…and not being professionals… that’s gold baby! The tackier the better! ![]()
What am I supposed to do…ignore that? HA! If there’s one personality trait of mine Tara cannot deny, it’s my competitive spirit. If you challenge me, by golly, I’m going to be ALL IN. I cannot be denied! Victory will be mine!!
Only, ahem, the lighting company that Leah suggested is booked solid for the season. I had a recommendation for another company, so I contacted them and got a quote. Emailed them this morning saying I’d like to book ’em for the job, but I haven’t heard back yet.
Sure hope they’re available, because Christmas is still five and a half weeks away and I don’t need to be reminded of my ladder failure every time I glance out the window and see Kelly’s house lit up like the second coming of Casa Griswold! Life is stressful enough these days.
Still not sure if I’m writing every day this month…




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