Last night Tara was wrapping things up in the kitchen, so I told her I’d meet her in the bedroom. Halfway there I realized I’d forgotten something on the dining room table, so I turned around and retraced my steps. She was not expecting me to return, and as soon as she saw me, hid her hands behind her back.
Suspicion level: 10.
“What do you have there?!” I asked.
“Nothing,” she replied.
Suspicion level: 11.
Clearly she was hiding something from me. Upon further interrogation, she confessed to adding a handful of salt to the coffee grounds. I preprogram the coffeemaker every night so a fresh pot brews automatically when we get up the next morning, but salt is never part of the equation. She explained that Alton Brown, in her eyes the quintessential expert on all things cooking-related, swears that a little salt in your coffee grounds cuts down on the bitterness, and wanted to try it for herself. Odd as that sounded, I accepted her explanation and we went to bed.
While showering this morning, it occurred to me that this is how spouses commit murder. You turn your back for a second and your significant other furtively adds something to your beverage. Next thing you know the doctor is pronouncing you dead and Keith Morrison is devoting 60 minutes to exploring the mystery behind your final days in all his velvety smooth-voiced glory. It was a rather unnerving thought.
I mentioned my realization to Tara this morning, and she accused me of watching too much Dateline NBC. Guilty as charged, but that’s beside the point. I wasn’t accusing her of trying to kill me or anything, simply stating that the salt could have been arsenic in the hands of somebody with murder on their mind. Good thing our relationship is solid!
Or was until I almost called her a killer.
Speaking of Keith Morrison, here’s a video of him reading from the telephone book. Why? Because, that voice!
Countdown: 128 Days
He does have a great voice. I had to stop watching that show cuz I’m a scardy cat!
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Ha. I’m addicted…have been for years!
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I have to be honest – lately Keith Morrison’s voice has been getting on my nerves on that show. His inflection is so predictable and melodramatic. I think it’s one of those things that, once you notice it, it forever grates on you. Years ago (many years ago) the show featured a crime that had been committed in New Orleans when I lived there. It was a dramatic crime, and the local media coverage for months and months was extensive. Seeing how Dateline portrayed it, showed me how they edit the stories, how much critical information they omit, how they control the impression you have of the event. I still watch the show but not with the same enthusiasm I once had. I’m sorry!!
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Well, I guess I won’t be recruiting you into the Keith Morrison fan club, lol! That’s okay though. I understand what you’re saying. To me, it’s not just the inflection of his voice, but the poetic prose he employs. I think it sets the show apart from other competitors who are more about flash over substance (although based on what you told me, perhaps there is a bit of emphasis on the flash going on with Dateline NBC, too).
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LOL _ coffee around here is high art. See, I buy green dried beans – Costa Rican Dota Estate are my favorites. I only roast them when i need them – a 4 to 5 day supply. Then grind it and into a French Press – water at 200F and brew 3 minutes. No bitterness, only floral and fruit notes to this coffee – it’s fantastic.
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I’d love to try roasting my own coffee someday. There are so many great coffee shops around here though, it hardly seems worth the trouble. Maybe when we move.
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And I roast them in a $21 Stir Crazy popcorn maker – 20-35 minutes depending on the bean and the level of darkness you want.
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Really isn’t that much effort in the total realm of things – the grinder takes maybe 20 seconds. And the electric water kettle takes maybe 5 or 6 minutes to get to 200F. Then a 3 minute brew/ So 9 minutes or so for the best coffee ever. The roasting – 20-35 minutes. Just set a timer – empty the beans out of the roasting appliance and spread em’ to cool. Then into the hopper of the grinder.
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