Squeaky Shoes

I recently picked up a new pair of walking shoes. With as many miles as I’m logging lately, the Vans – fashionable as they are – were no longer cutting it. Even without a fancy little swoosh, these new shoes offer an improved walking experience.

Except at work. Because every time I walk across the bare concrete floor, they squeak.

Jenny was the first one to bring this to my attention. And by “bring this to my attention,” I mean, tease me mercilessly. ‘Cause that’s what she proceeded to do, giving me a complex about my footwear. When I posted about what a big meanie she was being on my Facebook page, did I get sympathy from my friends? Nope. But I did get a brand new nickname.

“Squeaky Shoes Petruska.”

This, courtesy of my mother-in-law. Thanks a lot, Tracy. Should I consider it an early birthday gift?

As far as nicknames go, this one did not appeal to me much. It kind of sounds like the world’s worst mob nickname. But then my sister-in-law came to the rescue with the following comment.

You could always say you got that name because “even though they can hear you comin it don’t mean sh*t.” But you have to say that very “thug -like” while making a gun gesture with your hand.

Which made the nickname not-so-bad. Thanks, Esther. But it did nothing to alleviate the constant squeaking occurring with every step. Fortunately, I’m good at thinking outside of the box. Or in this case, outside of the shoebox. The next day, I showed up at work wearing slippers.

slippersOne thing about Squeaky Shoes Petruska: the guy’s a problem solver. And he don’t take no shit.

About those slippers, by the way…

When I was in the hospital, I brought them along with me. And I am not kidding when I say how badly all the male employees coveted them. Doctors, nurses, you name it – they all really liked those slippers. Even when I’m on my deathbed (ever-so-slight exaggeration), I’m apparently a fashion icon. Good to know. They are pretty cool slippers, as far as slippers go. I’ve had ’em for years and couldn’t tell you where I bought them to save my life. But they put an end to all the squeaky shoe talk in real short order.

Have you ever had shoes that squeaked? How’d you solve the problem? And do you, or have you ever, had a nickname that you either loved or loathed? Feel free to bare all in the comments!

11 thoughts on “Squeaky Shoes

  1. Nice slippers! I love slippers! Then again, I just love footwear.

    A male friend in college called me ‘Love Child.’ Not because I was anyone’s love child, but because I fell in and out of love with the drop of a hat!


  2. Mark, I LOVED your sister-in-law’s comment. Brilliant!

    And NICE slippers! Honest to god, they look like footwear you could wear as shoes!

    And yes, I had squeaky shoes at one time. Sneakers. But they would only squeaky if it had been raining as I walked across a tiled floor.

    When I was stilling living in Florida, my friends use to nickname me, Ron Jon, after the surf shop!

    Have a super weekend, buddy!


    1. Ron Jon works. It’s catchy! And I *have* worn the slippers outside. They have a hard rubber sole that can stand up to walking short distances outside. I probably wouldn’t wear them while hiking, though…


  3. Man, I had this expensive pair of goretex hiking boots that developed a slight puncture in the heel through which compressed air was forced with every step. The result was a high-pitched whistle not unlike a tiny teapot. Drove me nuts.


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