Yesterday, I was faced with a dilemma. Y’all know I love April Fools’ Day. But after pranking many of you once (and some of you multiple times; sorry, Claudette), I knew my chances of fooling anyone on the blog were slim to none.
That didn’t stop me from googling natural gas line explosion images. I thought maybe, given our recent fruit tree purchase and call-before-you-dig post, I might be able to fake a little carelessness with a shovel, but…nahhh. That was way too much of a stretch. None of you would buy that.
Not even Claudette.
Still, I needed an outlet. A prankster’s gotta prank, ya know? I couldn’t let the day pass without doing something. It’s in my DNA. Inspiration struck while I was making a lap around the 4th floor of CheeseGov. The freight elevator has been out of order for a couple of weeks; how inconvenient would it be if every elevator stopped working at the same time?
Five minutes later, what do you know? All four elevators were on the fritz. Weird!
As far as April Fools pranks go, this one was pretty simple to pull off, requiring nothing more than a printer and a few pieces of scotch tape. I furtively hung up the signs, not really expecting anyone to fall for the obvious joke, but then watched as a coworker stopped in her tracks, looked at the elevators in surprise, and then proceeded down the stairwell.
Leaving the signs up for an extended period would have been mean, so after 10 minutes, I returned to take them down. Much to my dismay, there was an abandoned mail cart parked in front of the elevators, overflowing with correspondence for the entire building, its owner—oh, shit!—probably trying to track down Building Maintenance to ask what was going on. Oops. Can’t very well push something like that down the stairs, can you?
It’s official, guys: I’m going to hell.
Needless to say, I quickly removed the signs and slinked (slunk?) back to my cubicle. Nobody was the wiser, and a few minutes later, the mail cart was gone. Whew.
One of these days I’ll outgrow these pranks, I swear!
(Maybe.)
Then again, almost every brand I follow on social media had some kind of AFD post yesterday.
Even another Wisconsin state agency got in on the action.
So, even if my prank was unsanctioned and off-the-record, I feel like I’m in esteemed company.
(I’d totally vote for Charlie Berens BTW.)
A Spiritual Experience in the Woods
Now that the weather has warmed up (at least on a part-time basis; Monday we switched on our A/C when it hit 78°, but Wednesday, it barely topped 40°), I’ve ditched the treadmill for outside walks most mornings.
Monday’s excursion was one of my most memorable ever.
I did my usual 3.5-mile loop through the neighborhood and adjacent park. Nearing the end, I decided to trek through the woods to my backyard instead of taking the street, as I usually do. I turned onto the trail and stopped dead in my tracks; directly in my path, no more than 10 yards away, stood one of the most magnificent creatures I had ever seen.
This encounter was so unexpected, my jaw literally dropped. The white deer of Jefferson County, Wisconsin, are locally famous; we’ve seen them around town many times, usually on the outskirts and from a great distance, but never so close to home. They travel in small groups….and sure enough, once I overcame my initial shock, I spotted two others.
I fumbled around for my phone, which was hanging from a strap around my neck. Hands-free may be convenient, but dammit, it cost me a perfect picture! By the time I pulled up my camera the trio had dashed into the woods for cover; the best I could manage was a slightly blurry shot through the trees.
And then they took off through the field. Here’s another blurry long-distance shot.
I’d assumed at first the deer were albinos, but they are actually leucistic, meaning they have white fur but their eyes, noses, and hooves are dark. In true albinos, those features are pink. There’s a lot of debate in southern Wisconsin about allowing the white deer to be hunted. The color of their fur is a genetic deformation, they were illegally bred and released, the population needs to be controlled so it doesn’t become dominant, yadda yadda.
And look, bleeding heart liberal though I may be, I’m not the type to go around throwing buckets of red paint on people who wear fur coats. I would never pick up a gun and kill an animal personally, but I’ll acknowledge that (non-sport) hunting can be beneficial.
When I got home, I was still so awestruck over my encounter, I could barely find the words to tell Tara what I’d seen. Instead, I shoved my phone in her face and called it “a spiritual experience.” Maybe that was a silly overreaction from a guy who’s been a city slicker most of his life, but I can’t help it. My close encounter with those pure-white deer was nothing short of magical. I may never see them up close and personal, but just in case, I will be carrying my phone in my hand on future walks.
Did you have a favorite April Fools’ prank this year? Ever see a white deer? How do you feel about hunting?
Mark My Words 
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