We’ve had a lot of rain lately. This is a far cry from last year, when we suffered through months of drought. Instead of brown grass, our lawn is a luxurious shade of green.

In fact, the grass was getting so thick, I had the pleasure of breaking out my beloved John Deere lawn tractor, which had been in hibernation since October. Our reunion was beautiful. And in keeping with the wet theme, no sooner did I finish mowing before a nice little thunderstorm rolled through, complete with a smattering of hail.

Not so beautiful? All that rain has fueled an explosive mosquito population. The bloodthirsty pests swarm around your ankles with every step you take across the yard, so unless you douse yourself with OFF!, it’s a suicide mission. Fortunately, we’ve got a ready supply on hand, ’cause we’ve got a lot of planting to do. Not only has my gardening-freak wife been filling the basement with tomato and pepper plants she started from seed back in January, but today, we stopped by our local garden center and loaded up on perennials and shrubs.

Last weekend, we stocked up on lumber so Tara could build raised beds. These past couple of weekends haven’t been cheap, but that’s how it goes when you’re starting a new garden from scratch. Dick had a bunch of raised beds back there already, but they were an overgrown, neglected mess. Obviously, his advancing age prevented him from keeping up with them. Tara tried to make do with ’em last year, but decided it would be easier to just tear up all the old stuff and start fresh.

She’s also adding a simple fence to keep out the critters. The critters being the deer, raccoons, woodchucks, and possums that treat our yard like their own personal buffet.

Speaking of possums, when I was walking through the yard this morning, clearing branches to prep for the mowing, I stumbled upon a very large – and very dead – possum. I thought (hoped) he was faking it and “playing possum,” but if so, he was doing a bang-up job of it. Between the flies crawling all over him, the hollowed-out eye socket, and the rotting ear, he was quite the actor.

Admittedly, I freaked out a little. I’m a city boy, ergo, I have zero experience disposing of dead wildlife. But something had to be done, so I grabbed a shovel and started digging. Luckily, we have excellent soil; it’s sandy, well-drained, and very easy to turn over. Took me no time to dig a three-foot deep hole and bury the possum. Afterward, I told Tara if we ever have to dispose of a dead body, we can easily manage a six-foot deep hole in our backyard. Information to file away just in case.


Friday evening, Tara and I went to one of our favorite watering holes, Island Bar & Grill, for drinks and supper. The weather was so perfect, we snagged one of the outdoor tables on their deck overlooking the Rock River. We loaded the TouchTunes jukebox with our favorite music and killed three hours enjoying Old Fashioneds (me), Bud Light (her), and a Friday fish fry. Island Bar is one of the few places around that serves bluegill, which I’ve discovered I really like.

Before we left, I walked down to a dock to snap a photo. Perfectly innocent-looking, right?

That’s what I thought, until I zoomed in.

That would be my dear wife, flipping me the bird. I took three different photos from the dock. She’s flipping me off in all three.

At one point, our server started dancing behind her while she was giving me the fingers. Plural, because she’s a double-fister. “You guys are fun,” she told Tara. “I hope you’ll come back soon!”

See, you guys think I’m bad, but this is proof that I can’t take Tara anywhere.


52 responses to “Let’s hope our pet cemetery isn’t like Stephen King’s.”

  1. Tara is hilarious. I probably would’ve done the same. Cool that the server started dancing. She’s fun too. Nice you were recognized for congeniality. It’s cool that Tara likes to garden. I respect that because we are only so-so at the whole growing things gig. Also, “we can easily manage a six-foot deep hole in our backyard. Information to file away just in case.”—Priceless!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Our server was fun. We don’t really have a go-to spot here like we did in Vancouver, but I could see the Island Bar being that spot. It’s a great atmosphere and the staff is top-notch.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And how fun would it be to become regulars and have the servers know you? Just rewatched the P and Rec ep where Leslie and Ron get “the usual, Marge”–breakfast foods, of course. That would be a fun goal, to be a regular on a first name basis and get “the usual.”

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  2. Omg. This time I didn’t even realize I was first. Wasn’t even trying. Booyah!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re on a roll lately. Making me feel like a real slacker here!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. To be fair, when I hit send on my last post, on a Thursday morning, it occurred to me, “Oh, that wasn’t fair. No way Mark has a chance when it’s this time of day.” 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nope. I don’t go on my blog when I’m at the CheeseGov office. Or if I do, it’s just for a fleeting moment. You need to time your posts to, say, 11 a.m. on Fridays. And text me a heads-up just in case.

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      3. Wait, I thought you were working all day on Fridays now, as it was the old job that gave you the afternoons off, assuming your 11 a.m. is allowing for the time change. I’m confused, no doubt because I missed a post somewhere.

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      4. P.S. I just posted. Go, Mark, go! 😉

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  3. I still have that left over teacher in me and would act goofy–but not middle finger. It would be my luck to have a former student there and end up on Facebook or Instagram. I have rocky ground here so burying anything is tricky. Perhaps a dead mouse? No way on a possum. It’s raining here too and everything is green. And very wet.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I suppose that’s the downside of teaching. You really have to mind your manners when out in public.

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  4. I’d be freaked out by the dead animal in my yard. At our last house, we came back from vacation to a dead deer in the backyard once. My husband had quite a time getting rid of that! I’m glad you could dig a hole deep enough for it. Yuck.

    Blue gill is not something you easily find on a menu!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. After we found the possum, Tara actually said, “What would we do if it were a deer?!” Damn good question. How did your husband dispose of it?

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      1. We luckily had a ravine in the back of our property and he managed to haul it down the side. I suppose Mother Nature did the rest, but it’s disturbing to think about.

        I would have called the city animal warden!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That thing must have weighed a ton! We have no ravine, so I’m just going to have to cross my fingers and hope that I never have this problem to deal with.

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  5. Dead wildlife were noooo problem for us while renting a home some years back. It was in a very wooded lot, and a giant owl lived in one of the trees. The owl had a way of making “things disappear.” It should have worked for the mob. Island Bar and Grill looks like a relaxed, chill place…especially the outdoor dining area.😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ooh, we need a mobster owl in our backyard!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Like you, my mind immediately went to the ‘you’d really be great a body scenario

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Let me try again. Like you my mind immediately went to the ‘ you’d be really good at hiding a body scenario’ and I love your wife!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nobody would ever know. And that part of the yard is very well hidden from passersby.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. and who knows what you may uncover over time?

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  8. I think the neighbors likely heard my laughter through the wall when I saw Tara. She is a gem and exactly the perfect person for you, and I don’t even know you IRL but I know this to be true.

    You could have just picked the possum up by the long ratty tail and given it a huge heave-ho into the underbrush, unless you’ve earmarked an actual start to a pet cemetery in the yard? I hope you don’t encounter his vicious little ghost chasing you next time you’re on the John Deere 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. When I posted this, I told Tara, “You know my readers are going to love you even more now, right?” She was very gracious and said I paint her in a very good light. But she truly is the peanut to my butter.

      I guess I did just inadvertently start a pet cemetery. Let’s hope it’s nothing like Stephen King’s version!

      Liked by 2 people

  9. I had a dead (I assume) possum in the backyard about 20 years ago. I used a Hefty bag and let the garbage man deal with the body (unwittingly.) 

    The worm has turned (not the one after the dead possum) in the last few years. Now it’s new life. Perhaps you remember the skunk nursery story from about four years ago. This year it’s coyote pups growing up under the shed. Once again, cute, but not my first choice for neighbors.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I googled tips for removing dead wildlife from your yard, and the Hefty bag trick was the top recommendation. I really didn’t want to just bury it there, but I really REALLY didn’t want to pick up the damn thing, either.

      You’ve got coyote pups? How (howl) fun!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Your backyard green is luscious. And was that a lupine I spotted in the back of your truck? I’ve had mixed luck with those much as I love them. It’s good to know your backyard is prime body disposal territory. We’re all clay beneath the topsoil and it’s tough going.
    😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is a lupine. Tara tried growing one from seed once in South Dakota but didn’t have much luck either. The park right down the street has a large field of lupine that do great every summer, so we’re hopeful!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s the way it is here, fields upon fields, but try to start them in your own garden and it’s hit or miss. Just remember they need full sun and no soggy soil.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I guess we’ll find out!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Don’t believe him, folks. Tara was very well-behaved on our blog buddy meet-up.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I guess you didn’t see her flipping you off behind your backs as you walked away.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. poor possum. Hope he died of old age. I have buried many animals but we have clay soul so it’s kind of difficult. I went to a psychic who did actually say we had a pet cemetery. So far no ghosts though. Your yard is beautiful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We’re hoping it was old age too. So weird that he would just drop dead in the middle of the yard like that. Fingers crossed you don’t end up with phantom possums haunting you in the middle of the night!

      Like

  13. Tara cracks me up. Sadly, we do not have space in our yard for dead carcasses. They go in the trash. And if you think a dead possum is bad, wait until there’s a dead skunk. A dead, eviscerated skunk. I had to collect all the body parts. Absolutely delightful.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Such a truth about life – it all looks so calm from a distant but then you zoom in and… Love Tara’s spirit!! 🙂 ❤

    And your line, “that treat our yard like their own personal buffet.” Dang those critters. Between them and the mosquitos, everything is eating well unless the humans protect themselves.

    And good to see you, John Deere!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I like to garden, but I’m not into disposing of the dearly departed, whether it be possum or snake or squirrel. That’s something that Z-D handles better than I. I’m sure you understand.

    It looks like a fun place at which to dine. Nothing like that around here cuisine-wise, but I’m sure I could find someone willing to flip me the bird. 😁

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  16. I don’t know how fun the place is to dine but you look like a fun couple to dine with!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha, thanks. We do try to live life to the fullest!

      Like

  17. Kenn has had to put wire “cages” around several young trees to keep the deer from eating them.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. We still haven’t removed all the cages Dick put up for that very reason.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I told her the second I published this post that a bunch of people were going to say that. Sure enough!

      (It’s okay. I do, too.)

      Liked by 1 person

  18. The first house I bought had an actual pet cemetery down one side which we only found when we cut down the overgrowth. There were little headstones with a name and date on them. We think they were for hamsters due to the gap between dates, but none of us would go down that side of the house in the dark!

    Oh & btw, Tara may be my new role model 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Whoa. That’s really cool but also kinda scary. Now I feel bad for flushing my tropical fish down the toilet whenever they die!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. […] for a change, so I suggested Island Bar & Grill on the Rock River. This is the same place where Tara flipped me off when I was innocently taking pics a few weeks ago. It’s a great hangout, and there was live […]

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  20. […] just a happy-go-lucky Sconnie living my best life. There are no bodies buried on my property (other than a possum) – at least to my knowledge. But given my obsession with Dateline NBC and various true crime […]

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  21. […] would also like to hang out at our favorite tiki bar on the river for their Saturday afternoon live music, but – and I can’t believe I’m […]

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  22. […] same place, I might add, where my dear wife flipped me the bird while I was taking photos. Apparently, some things never […]

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