Somehow, since buying this house, a curious transformation has taken place. Tara and I have turned into “birders.” I realized this a few days ago when I glanced over at the dining room buffet and spotted our cameras. We no longer stash them away in camera bags hidden in the back of the closet; instead, they’re always within reach, batteries all charged up, zoom lenses attached, ready to capture feathered fowl frolicking at the feeders on our deck. I even downloaded the Merlin Bird ID app to help me identify them for cryin’ out loud!
In retrospect, I shouldn’t be too surprised that I’ve become a birder. My mom’s a birder, too. Plus, there’s my whole flamingo obsession. And…and!…I picked up Popeye’s fried chicken for dinner the other night. I never met a thigh or breast I didn’t take an immediate shining to, so I guess you could say birding is in my blood.
I certainly picked the right time and place to develop an interest in birds.
I also find myself on the hunt for cool bird feeders, like this Weber grill I spotted at Ace Hardware. It’s unique and the color complements the exterior of our house, so I had to buy it.
You know who else is into birds? These two.
Laverne and Shirley love to park themselves in front of the slider and watch the birds attack the feeders with gusto. Finches, cardinals, woodpeckers, stellar jays: there are usually half a dozen at any given time, and this excites the cats to no end. Hey, I guess that makes them birders, too!
They are settling in quite nicely, by the way. Today was a work from home day for me, and I had a visit from a very sweet coworker this morning.
This made it somewhat difficult to get work done, but Fridays are mostly spent wrapping up projects anyway. Shirley did leave before my virtual marketing meeting (though I doubt anyone would have minded had she stayed).
In addition to becoming a birder, I am also now apparently a…farmer?!
OK, so it’s a lawn tractor. Not like I’ll be milking cows anytime soon. But if you had told me even a year ago I’d one day own a John Deere, I wouldn’t have believed you for a second. And I had no intention of buying a riding mower (even though I always dreamed of owning one); I naively believed I’d be able to manage the 0.8 acres with a regular push mower…right up until the snow melted and the grass started greening up.
“Hmm,” I muttered to Tara one day a few weeks ago. “That’s an awful lot of grass to cut.”
“Yup,” she replied.
That was the entirety of the conversation that led to my John Deere purchase. Honestly, it’s not like we had much of a choice. Pretty much everybody in our neighborhood owns a riding mower. I suppose we could have hired a lawn service, but I did some research and learned that would probably cost upwards of $1,000 a year. The John Deere will pay for itself in 2.5 years and should last five times that long. Nothing complicated about basic math.
I immersed myself in research, learning about previously foreign topics such as hydrostatic transmissions and turning radiuses and deck sizes in relation to horsepower and acreage to figure out which lawn tractor to buy. I was torn between the John Deere and a Cub Cadet that had basically the same specs and cost the same amount. In the end, it boiled down to availability. Lowe’s can get me the John Deere next Thursday, while the Cub Cadet wouldn’t have been available from Home Depot for a few weeks. J.D. it is, and really, I was leaning that way anyway. There’s nothing more iconic American heartland than a John Deere, AND OMG AM I REALLY WRITING A WHOLE PARAGRAPH ABOUT LAWN TRACTORS??
Very random side note: I once had aspirations of performing standup comedy and came up with one perfect joke. I broke up with my tractor the other day. I did it the old fashioned way, too: by writing a John Deere letter.
Now you know why I’m not a standup comedian. Oh, also the fact that speaking in front of audiences terrifies the ever loving bejesus out of me.
Let’s see, what else is new? Well, the weather has finally turned springlike, and looks to stay that way for at least the next 10 days. I’m writing this blog post from the deck, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, the temperature a damn near perfect 74°. We’re grilling brats this evening because we have totally embraced this whole Wisconsin thing.
By the way, I discovered how to cook brats like a true Sconnie. It’s called a beer bath, and it is amazing. Pour two cans of beer into a disposable aluminum pan, add two tablespoons of butter and a sliced onion, and place on the grill next to your brats* while they’re cooking. When they’re heated through, dunk them in the bath and let ’em rest in there for a few minutes. Place them on a bun and eat them plain; if you must top them with something, only brown mustard or sauerkraut are acceptable. So, so good!
*They’ve gotta be uncooked brats. Preferably Klement’s, though you can’t go wrong with Usinger’s or Johnsonville, either. All proudly made right here in Wisconsin.
I swear, between the birding, the John Deere, and the brat bath, I don’t recognize myself anymore.
Mark My Words 
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