Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Close-Up

Thanks to COVID, virtual team meetings are a regular part of my workday routine. During a typical week, I have 8-10 Microsoft Teams calls. I don’t mind them, because my office is pretty cozy. It’s got all the creature comforts one might hope for: lava lamp, electric foot massager, mini fridge, drawer full of snacks. You know: the essentials. If I’m ever trapped in there for a few days thanks to a raging blizzard or flooded roads or Viking-horns-wearing-seditionist, I’ll be perfectly fine.

I could live here comfortably for a few days.

I just hate the damn camera that beams a live video feed to my coworkers.

It’s super distracting and more than a little uncomfortable. Every time a call comes in, I feel like I’m prepping for an audition or a first date or something. Gotta check the hair, make sure all the buttons on my shirt line up properly, yadda yadda. Gawd. Yes, I get it, these are normal things you’d do in a face-to-face meeting in a conference room. But at least there, you’re not forced to stare at yourself for an hour, and you don’t have to keep fiddling with a laptop screen to make sure the camera is picking up your best angle.

We can’t eradicate COVID fast enough, I tell ya.

Speaking of, I found out the telecommunications industry is considered “essential” and, therefore, scheduled to be vaccinated sooner than the general public. Which seems kinda silly to me, but a working communications infrastructure is crucial for the safety of the nation, I guess. It’s not like we’re leapfrogging healthcare workers and teachers and longterm care residents; in South Dakota, there are five subgroups in Phase 1 of the vaccination plan (1A – 1E). We’re in 1E…which is only slightly ahead of the general population, in Phase 2. So, I might get vaccinated in April instead of May. Not complaining, though!

In other news, it’s windy as hell. This winter might be a dud in terms of cold and snow, but the Northern Plains can count on brisk winds at least once a week. We are expecting 70-80 mph gusts for the next 36+ hours. Yikes. I don’t mind wind as long as I don’t have to go out in it, so naturally, tomorrow night we’re going out in it. It’s also hard to sleep when the wind is whistling through the eaves and the gusts are so strong they shake the house.

So long as I don’t end up in Oz, I’m sure I’ll be okay.

23 thoughts on “Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Close-Up

  1. Well, the polar vortex might be starting to move. Could be exciting weather on the way. Or it might just mess with the East Coast.

    If you run into Mr. Insurrectionist Viking Horns, you can apparently scare him off with non-organic food.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! I’ll be sure to stock up on Doritos and Twinkies. Once he discovers there’s no kale around, he’ll move on to other more fertile marauding grounds.

      Re: the polar vortex…I hadn’t heard that, but our 10-day forecast is trending much colder. I hope so…I could use some weather action other than wind!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Same. We only got 75% of our normal precipitation last year, after two very wet ones. Hoping the polar vortex (which I read up on this morning – you’re right!) brings us some moisture in addition to the cold. Our farmers and ranchers out here are desperate.


  2. With the extra Covid 15 (okay 20, stop nit picking) pounds I’ve put on over the past year? I’m eternally grateful I’m not working and forced to stare at my video image daily. Talk about depressing. And oddly enough though our winter has been relatively snow free the wind has been insane here as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aren’t you the lucky one? You have your man cave office AND you’re in line to get your vaccination. Couldn’t be happier for you. [Really. Not being snide even though that last sentence might sound like it.]

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hold up there, Marky-Mark . . . An electric foot massager?!?

    Those winds are hazardous to communication wires! I hope you don’t have any issues, but it’s good to be essential! I’m hoping I can cut in front of my spouse for the vaccine because of my hypertension. Lol, we keep making jokes about who will get it first.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I read your initial thoughts about your new office, Mark, and I am happy to hear how your office is still living up to your first impression. You have given me a gift idea with the lava lamp. Nice! I get it on the live video feed. I am part of a couple of writing Zoom groups and I see how we are all adjusting our monitors to make our necks look less……old. There, I said it. Great to hear how things are moving forward with vaccinations. It has been very windy in my neck of the woods, too. Power outages and trees down. Not unusual at this time of year. Be safe and enjoy your weekend, Mark.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha. One of those, at least, is easy to remedy. I have this sudden fear, on your behalf, that you will get coffee spilled all over you (perhaps by your own hand) and suddenly think, “Betsy was right! I should’ve put a change of clothes in my office!)

    I’ve been prophetic before. You have been warned.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I feel ya on the fuss over image in the online calls.
    Electric foot massager? Wow. I have a heated throw and I thought I was workin luxuriously!
    My work is also essential, and yet I have heard hellnothin about vaccination. My one boss had shot one last week, because he is an elder. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes to get the vaccine to the plebs here.

    Liked by 1 person

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