187.
That’s the number of meatballs I made last night for my homemade Italian wedding soup.
This is one of our favorite meals, and the recipe I cook most often. We have it at least once a month (probably two or three times, if you count the leftovers). If 187 meatballs seems excessive to you, consider that they are no bigger in size than large marbles, and those leftovers are really, really good. It’s why I triple the recipe.
One time at work, a female coworker was sick and talking about how she couldn’t wait to have chicken soup for dinner to help with her cold. A male coworker then chimed in with an interesting comment of his own; he said that would never work for him because “men don’t eat soup.”
This was news to me, because…
- I’m a man, and
- I eat soup.
And I don’t just eat it for dinner. I had a bowl of soup for breakfast today. I have gotten into heated arguments over that practice, so don’t even get me started!
I’d never heard anybody make that claim before. Quiche, sure (though I eat that, too). But is it really unusual that I eat soup, or was he just being ridiculous? For the record, this exchange took place at a previous job, so any current coworkers who happen to be reading this don’t have to walk around wondering who the madman in the office is.
We already know it’s Mike.
But seriously, his comment begs the question: do men eat soup?! I know they did on Seinfeld, and became quite upset when told there was no soup for them, but Jerry, George, and Kramer are hardly representative of the typical male. Is it in our genes to prefer something hearty and filling and dripping with blood after we kill it with our bare hands? Probably none of my caveman ancestors would have chosen cream of mushroom over mastodon.
What’s better than a steaming hot bowl of soup on a cold and blustery winter’s night? I guess I’m supposed to say “a nice, juicy steak,” but I just can’t bring myself to do it. SOUP is the answer! The answer is SOUP!!
Concerned that I might erroneously be doing my gender a grave injustice by consuming soup, I turned to the almighty (Google, not God) and posed the question, What foods don’t men eat? A list was spat back at me, and it included the following:
- Quinoa. Men might not know how to pronounce it, but trust me, they eat it. At least I do. (Keen-wah, by the way.)
- Veggie Burgers. A few years ago I’d have agreed wholeheartedly, but then I discovered Morningstar Farms’ Spicy Black Bean burgers. Granted, nine times out of ten I will still choose a nice, juicy, traditional burger made from Midwest-raised beef…but once in a while, I’m Team VB.
- Pudding. Wait, what?! That’s insane. Who doesn’t enjoy a bowl of creamy, delicious pudding? I don’t care if you’re a guy, girl, or bug-eyed alien, pudding is awesome. Next…
- Finger sandwiches. Finally, we agree on something.
- Fruit. Tell that to the apple I just scarfed down. And the oranges and bananas in the kitchen. The canned pineapple in my pantry. Reassure my dormant-at-the-moment raspberry bushes that their fruit won’t find its way on waffles and ice cream and in cocktails and sauces all summer long. And while you’re at it, would you like to buy a bridge I’m selling?
- Bon-Bons. Duh. I’m neither a post-breakup nor pre-menopausal woman sitting on the couch wearing fluffy socks and watching soap operas. Give me ice cream that you can’t pick up with your fingers any old day.
So, there you go. Some of these I agree with, others I don’t, but I would be remiss in pointing out the fact that soup is nowhere on this list. Ha! Take that, woefully-misinformed-stereotype-loving stupid ex-coworker! Continue to avoid soup in order to preserve your antiquated ideals of what constitutes your own precious manhood.
Just means more soup me!
Mark My Words 
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