Do you believe in Fate?
Many people scoff at the idea of a predetermined course of events setting the stage for their lives. They prefer to believe in the concept of free will (which, admittedly, is easier to stomach – who wouldn’t rather maintain control of their own destiny? The idea of “The Universe” (or whatever) determining the outcome of our lives despite our best efforts is troubling). There was a great movie released earlier this year called The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon that tackles this subject in a very interesting fashion. But philosophical debates aside – and ignoring related theories like causality, determinism, synchronicity and luck – the idea of Fate holds a certain romantic appeal, especially when it comes to love. And, I have to admit, I absolutely do believe in Fate, even though I am not at all a religious person (I don’t think the two need be linked in any way). “Everything happens for a reason” may imply a lack of control, but it’s also comforting – a great way for us to explain away (or survive) the bad things that happen in our lives. It’s not just wishful thinking on my part, either. I wholeheartedly embrace the idea that there are people in our lives we were destined to meet, and events that were meant to occur.
I had a dream once, you see…
It was October, 2009. One otherwise ordinary night, I had a dream about a woman I had known for a long time. It was one of those dreams full of rich detail. She and I stood together on a beach, the surf swirling around our ankles. I could smell the saltwater, hear the crashing waves, and feel the warm sun on my neck. We held each other tightly, in a warm embrace that spoke volumes. And then we kissed. It was tender and deliberate and made my heart race; the lack of urgency indicated this wasn’t somebody who was new to me, but rather a girl I cared about deeply, and one who felt the same way about me. Smiling, we then held hands and walked across the sand to a nearby cabin. That’s where the dream got really interesting.
I’m not one to typically remember my dreams – and those that I do recall the next morning are just flat-out weird. This one, though? The passion and intensity blew me away. What surprised me the most, however, was the woman I had dreamed about.
It was Tara.
You have to understand how out-of-left-field this was to me. At that point, we had known each other for more than six years, but we never talked. We exchanged comments on our respective blogs, and had recently Facebook friended each other, but that was it. I considered her a friend, one whom I had supported over the years (and who had, in turn, done the same for me) – but nothing more. The fact that she had been the subject of this dream that was, let’s face it, simply awesome blew me away.
I tried to forget about the dream, but it was so powerful it remained lodged in my brain, unwilling to let go, for days. I knew it was a ridiculously unlikely fantasy; I was in an on-again/off-again relationship that was rapidly veering toward “off again” mode, while she was similarly unavailable. Plus, she lived a few states away. Finding the dream impossible to ignore, I finally threw caution to the wind and decided to take a huge risk by e-mailing her and telling her all about it.
She was, understandably, surprised. And it’s probably safe to say, as intrigued as I was…if by nothing else, then by where this dream had come from! And in telling her about it, I opened a dialogue between us. Suddenly, she was somebody I could talk to openly and without fear of judgment. There were occasional phone calls, in which we would talk about relationship issues we were experiencing or other little Life-related happenings, and our already solid friendship intensified. Still, it never seemed like we would actually end up together.
Fast-forward two years, and here we are. In a relationship that, in spite of the distance, feels like it’s growing stronger every single day.
Do you have any idea how incredible that feels to me? How amazed I am by everything that has happened?
I’ve been thinking of that dream often these past few weeks, and when I do, I get goosebumps. It has obviously taken on a whole new context, and even though the exact details haven’t happened (yet, at least – they very well may), the feelings and emotions I experienced within that dream have become very real. So, what was this dream, anyway? A foreshadowing of events to come? A huge coincidence? None of the above? Did the dream cause the reality, or was reality already laid out somewhere in a not-too-distant future, just waiting for all the pieces to fall into place exactly when (and how) they needed to?
I can’t help but feel that Fate has a hand in this somehow.
- The Road Taken (anadventureworthtelling.wordpress.com)
Categories: Love & Stuff