Effective Immediately

Last Friday at work, we got an email that stated, Effective immediately, Clark* is no longer a TobacCo employee. That just served to reinforce the notion that no good ever comes from an announcement that begins with the words “Effective Immediately.” Bad news always follows. Effective immediately, your cable bill is increasing by $7/month. Effective immediately, alcohol is … Continue reading Effective Immediately

Reverse early-bird special.

Pro tip: if you're going to have a garage sale, don't post it 48 hours early. I made that mistake today. Not that I blame myself; we have a million and three things going on, and I'm trying to be as efficient as possible. Stayin' on top of shit. We're planning a big garage sale … Continue reading Reverse early-bird special.

Two First Days

Now that it's Tuesday evening, I have officially had two first days with my new company. I really need to come up with a nickname so I can talk about 'em without giving too much away, like I did with Ye Olde Publishing Company. Let's see...they have been providing telephone, cable, and internet services to … Continue reading Two First Days

And Then There Were Three…

Got through my last full week at Ye Olde Publishing Company and now have just three days to go. Kinda surreal to think about that. I'm in that weird transitional place now—think of it as a corporate bardo of sorts, the Tibetan Buddhist state of existence between death and rebirth. A between-jobs limbo where I'm … Continue reading And Then There Were Three…

Week One Done

My first "week" at the new job is now in the can and I am loving every minute of it! I put week in parentheses because it was actually three days, but starting on a Wednesday had its perks. Namely the preceding long weekend. More on the job in a second. I wanted to take … Continue reading Week One Done

Gift Horse(s)

My muscles are aching like crazy today. Wish I could say it's the result of some super manly act like chopping wood or changing the spark plugs on my car rebuilding the engine on my car, but no such luck. It's an ice-skating injury. To be fair, I had never before taken to the ice (whiskey … Continue reading Gift Horse(s)

I Pray There is No Future

Four years ago - almost exactly to the day - I lost my job. I hate that phrase, though. It's not like I was walking along one day and suddenly misplaced it. "Hey! Where'd my job go?! It was right here a second ago, I swear!" More like, my position was eliminated. Out from under me. With … Continue reading I Pray There is No Future

Gimme Those TPS Reports. And STRIP!

A few months ago, the company I work for moved into a cool new building in downtown Camas. It's not really "new" because it was built in the 1920s and housed many businesses over the years, most recently an automotive dealership. Where service bays once stood, there are now desks. The ceiling was ripped out, … Continue reading Gimme Those TPS Reports. And STRIP!

Smaller And Better Things

Last night, when the kids came back from their mother's house for the week, I was telling them about my new job. "I start tomorrow!" I declared excitedly. To which Audrey replied, "Does that mean you're unemployed right now?" Hmm. I hadn't thought about it that way, but realized that - technically, at least - … Continue reading Smaller And Better Things