Mark My Words

Two days before I spent the weekend in Minnesota, I had no idea I was going to be spending the weekend in Minnesota.

I have The Travel Architect to thank for my spontaneous adventure. I was just settling in for my first cup of coffee Thursday morning when a text link to an evite popped up on my phone.

If you follow TTA, you’ll know that she and her husband, The Husband (note: not his real name), aren’t just avid international travelers; they also enjoy tooling around the USA in their travel trailer. There was an original Bobbie that they sold a few years ago in order to upgrade. The new and improved Bobbie, that’s Mr. 2.0 to you and me, was custom built in Canada and, due to high Covid-era demand, took 3 1/2 years from the time they ordered it until they took delivery last fall–a wild trip that included surly border agents and an ongoing game of will-we-or-won’t-we-have-to-pay-a-hefty-tariff?

(They did not have to pay a hefty tariff, but that seemed to be the result of good luck rather than any consistency on the border guards’ part.)

Now, I’ve mentioned that Tara and I are pretty much over tent camping at this stage of our lives. I’m pushing for a little travel trailer of our own, and slowly but surely, my wife has been warming up to the idea. So, I have a vested interest in Bobbie 2.0. If it were any other weekend, we’d have made the trip to TTA and The Husband’s home in Saint Paul, MN, for the open house in a heartbeat. But it just so happened that this past weekend:

A) Tara had to work a five-hour shift on Saturday, and
2) We had relatives visiting from Texas

“Man, I wish we could go spend the weekend in Minnesota, hang out with TTA and TH, and see Bobbie 2.0!” I commiserated.

“You should absolutely go do that,” Tara replied. “I’m okay staying behind.”

This led to many are you sure?s on my part, because the last thing in the world I need is a wife upset with me for having a grand ol’ time while she’s stuck at home, but Tara insisted. The relatives were her aunt and uncle, and I’m not particularly close with them anyway, so after triple- and quadruple-checking that she really, truly, seriously, this-isn’t-going-to-come-back-and-bite-me-later-is-it? was okay with me going, I went.

Tara’s the best. 🙂

So, I embarked shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday. Saint Paul’s a 4.5-hour drive away, five hours with gas and potty breaks, and by the way, I love that the Twin Cities are so close. There’s a lot to be said for Middle America. Praise thee, John Mellencamp! The first thing I did after learning I’d be heading to Saint Paul was to google, What the hell is there to do in Saint Paul? Tara and I spent a weekend in Minneapolis in 2023 (the first time we met TTA and TH), but we aren’t overly familiar with the area. The Wabasha Street Caves was the top attraction on that list, so I decided to check it out, timing my arrival for 20 minutes before the 1:30 tour. From their website:

This Historic Tour begins in the 1800s when the location was a silica mine. Then it travels through the time when it was a mushroom farm, and then developed as a restaurant, casino, and gangsters’ hotspot during the 1920’s prohibition era. Newspapers reported of an unsolved gangland murder at the casino. Take the tour to see if it’s true. Some believe the caves are haunted by the murdered mobsters whose bodies were never found.

This type of shit is right up my alley, and sure enough, I thoroughly enjoyed the tour.

Bullet holes next to the fireplace are evidence of the triple murder that took place in the 1930s. My tour guide said the scar/streak across the masonry is a telltale sign of a Tommy gun, which were notoriously difficult to control. All I know is, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of those bad boys, like the three gangsters who are believed to be buried somewhere in the cave.

Mushroom-shaped doorways pay homage to the cave’s mushroom farming past.

After the tour ended, I drove to The Travel Architect and The Husband’s place for their open house. When I got there, their backyard was full of people I didn’t know. Always an uncomfortable proposition for an introvert like me, but I made it a point to chat with a bunch of them for awhile. TTA gave me a tour of Bobbie 2.0, and after about an hour, I bid adieu. I hadn’t checked into my Maplewood hotel room yet, and also, I was starving.

I’m very much a when-in-Rome guy, so I really wanted to try a Juicy Lucy. Luckily, there was a dive bar less than two miles from my hotel that specialized in them. What’s a Juicy Lucy, you ask? It’s an iconic Minnesota cheeseburger where the cheese is cooked inside the meat rather than on top. It originated in Minneapolis in the 1950s, and two different places claim to have invented it: Matt’s Bar and The 5-8 Club. I went to the latter.

Yes, it was fantastic. It’s a burger stuffed with cheese. How could it not be?

After dinner, it was still early enough that I didn’t want to just head back to my room for the evening. Besides, I needed to work off that burger, so I drove to Lake Como. The one in Saint Paul, not Italy, in case you’re confused. It’s practically in TTA and TH’s backyard, and several of their friends insisted I check it out, so I took their advice. Enjoyed a pleasant stroll around the lake and a walk through the conservatory, which was absolutely brimming with color. Tara would have loved it.

While walking through the park, The Travel Architect thanked me for driving all the way up to visit. I told her it was my pleasure, and mentioned that I was coincidentally walking around “their” lake.

You’re welcome to come by for an after-party drink, she replied. The Husband has the World Cup on and won’t turn it off for any reason, but the A/C is on, the pets are chilling, and so are we.

And she followed that up with a heartfelt plea from one of their furry companions.

I mean, I don’t have a heart of stone, guys! I couldn’t resist that level of cuteness. Nor the promise of an ice-cold Brandy Old Fashioned whipped up by TH. Which is why I found myself unexpectedly back at their house four hours after I’d left. We spent a solid 90 minutes visiting, chatting about everything from pets and podcasts to blog buddies and Bruce Springsteen. I truly appreciated the opportunity, because obviously they’d been busy hosting earlier and were pulled in a million different directions. The Husband had been manning the grill and chatting with a group of friends, so I’d barely exchanged two words with him. This made up for that, and honestly, was the highlight of my trip.

Sunday morning, I had two more stops to make before hitting the road. The first was Minnehaha Falls. You’d never guess this gorgeous waterfall is located smack dab in the heart of Minneapolis!

Last but not least was Electric Fetus, a legendary Minneapolis record store. We stopped by in November, 2023, and spent over $300 on new and used vinyl. I vowed to keep my spending in check this time, and while I didn’t drop quite as much money, my total wasn’t that far off.

Don’t get into record collecting, guys. It’s an expensive hobby. (Totally worthwhile though, so I take that back.)

Finally, after an hour in Electric Fetus, I was ready to begin the long trek home. I got back right around 5 p.m., after an uneventful drive save for a steady, light rain the last 40 minutes.

Totally fun weekend, and yes, I want a travel trailer more than ever now! I also kind of want a rabbit, but something tells me that’ll be an even tougher sell.