Hey, did you know if you see an ad for a “face cord” of wood, like this one…

…and let the seller know you’d like to purchase “a cord of wood,” then what you are going to get is three face cords of wood, i.e., three cages full? If so, hats off to ya, ’cause I sure as hell didn’t.

Oh, and sticker shock when you hand him a $100 bill and he says, “That’s a great downpayment, but I’ll need the other $200 to go along with it.” (Okay, maybe he doesn’t physically speak these words, but you know he’s thinking them!).

It’s all a very convoluted process and far too mathy for me. No wonder I errored in my ways! And we can’t even blame the metric system like I was hoping for.

Funny how one missing word can really throw you for a loop. That’s two face-related misunderstandings in a week. (I’m still mad at you, Zuck.)

Did I tell the wood delivery guy I was only expecting 1/3 of what he had just dumped in my backyard? Of course not. I had to play it cool, folks (though my next move, excusing myself for a second to go fetch the rest of the money from inside, doesn’t exactly scream cool, does it?).

Like it or not, we suddenly had one expensive pile of wood on our lawn. Which meant I was suddenly looking at a very busy and muscle-achey afternoon moving and stacking it. But nose to the grindstone, I got ‘er done. And Tara was busy painting the kitchen, so I really couldn’t complain (not out loud, anyway).

That wood is two rows deep, by the way.

All I know is, it better be a damn cold winter. Much as we love our wood stove, the odds of us getting through a full cord of wood are slim to none, but I at least want to put a decent dent into those piles. Otherwise, we’ll have enough firewood to last us until roughly 2036.


74 responses to “It better be a damn cold winter.”

  1. Think of it as prepping for future seasons and now since lugging and stacking is done, now you don’t have to worry about it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And at least this year, I won’t have to bother with splitting logs myself (though truth be told, I didn’t mind that…made me feel all sorts of manly).

      Like

  2. It’s the fuel that warms you more than once.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see what you did there. That it does, my friend!

      Like

      1. I heated with wood for years, so I definitely know the routine. Went through several chain saws.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, I learned something new. I’ll need to tuck it away for a snowy day when, maybe one day, I’ve escaped Phoenix.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Here’s hoping that cold day arrives for you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Never heard of a “face” cord until now, and I’ve stacked many big loads of wood in my time, first as a kid for our cabin and then as a married adult who had a wood stove that we heated the house with. Luckily my dad still had property on the lake so once the wood was split we had a big old stacking party out in the corner of the back yard. I don’t miss that chore at all.
    Just think how toasty the house will be come the cold days!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess technically I had a stacking party too. The only thing missing was other people to help. And cake. Didn’t have any of that. Come to think of it, there was nothing even remotely fun about it.

      Some party that turned out to be!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. A face cord isn’t in common parlance here although I haven’t had a wood burning fireplace for 3 decades. At least you won’t have to buy any more wood for a long time and prices might go sky high! That’s how I would make myself feel better. Or you could sell some of it on the side?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If prices do go sky high, maybe I will end up selling some of it! (Nah, then we’d just have to buy more ourselves, which would defeat the purpose.)

      Like

  6. I heard this expression a lot growing up, but I always heard it as “faze cord”. I had never seen it in writing until now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You might say receiving more than a face cord didn’t “faze” me at all!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You’re one of the few people I know who is actually rooting for a cold winter.

    Yep, “face cord” is a new term for me. If you stack that wood just right, you can walk onto your roof without a ladder. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even without all that wood, I like my winters on the chilly side. I love hunkering down for a storm…as long as I don’t have to go out in it!

      And, hmm…that wood pile could come in handy when putting up Christmas lights…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Better too much than too little, Mark!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly what my dad would say!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Eegads!! I think we all learned something today!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad to take one for the team! (Well, maybe “glad” is too strong a word…)

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Having more than enough is better than not enough in my book..you could always sell some right ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true! I’m okay with hanging onto it and making it last several winters if need be. It’s a lot less work than splitting logs myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m sure you did your best to save face when you had to go in for more moola, and yes, you will be chipping away at that pile until you’re blue in the face. You just have to face it, Mark. You face-planted on this one. But wishing for an extra cold winter so you can (literally) burn through that wood is cutting off your nose to spite your face. If we have an average winter, then next year you’ll be facing a whole bunch of (seemingly free) wood next year! So don’t be long in the face. Just face the music and embrace the silver lining!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’m not actually that upset about it. The funny thing is, Tara and I briefly thought about messaging the seller and adding “a second cord” as we weren’t sure one would be enough. Holy crap, having to come up with $600 on the spot and finding somewhere to stack twice as much wood would have broken me.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. maybe you can use some of it to build campfires near the tikizebo?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that you keep pushing the tikizebo. You’re exactly the ally I need!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. next up: the planes flying banners over your yard when you two are out working. but I have nothing to do with it

        Liked by 1 person

  13. You lot are fancy in Wisconsin. I’ve never seen or heard of a face chord sold up here … and my husband’s close friend is a logger. The fact that you’re burning cherry seems crazy to me as well, that’s too precious to throw in the stove here.
    Nice job on the stacking though. Hope your back held out.
    🪵

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess given that half of it is cherry, the price wasn’t so bad. And it’s not like we won’t use it…it’ll just take us a few years probably.

      My back did fine. The day before, I burned through our slash pile of wood, which involved just as much bending over. I’m surprised I can stand up and walk normally today.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Funny! How’s your back this morning??? 🤪❤️🤪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re not the first person to ask. Just fine actually! Saturday, I was just as busy with yard work. It’s a wonder I can even walk today.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not surprised! Hope Monday is treating you well! 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  15. When we lived elsewhere we used to buy a cord of wood every winter and I remember how tiring it was to stack it and how cumbersome it was to bring it inside when we needed it. The only face involved was mine, scowling at the wood.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I wouldn’t call stacking it fun exactly, though I am a big Tetris fan. Piling it up felt like solving a puzzle.

      At least it’s in close proximity to the wood stove, and slightly protected by the eave of the roof, though we’ll have to cover it with a tarp. The guy who delivered it suggested we stack it on pallets to keep moisture from seeping in from the ground, and much to my surprise, we actually had a couple of pallets in the shed.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m glad to have a gas fireplace in this house.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! What they lack in ambience, they more than make up for in convenience. Kinda wish we had one too.

      Like

  17. Now you’re teaching me stuff – I’d never heard of either a face or full cord of wood. Over here, I think they talk about pallet loads or weight, but as real fires are becoming frowned upon from a pollution-related health aspect, many are moving to smokeless options. It’s a real shame as I love the idea of a real fire, but have never lived anywhere which had either an open fire or a stove installed. Maybe one day… although I might have to move right out into the boondocks (or to Scandinavia).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would love to live in Scandinavia, though I’d probably have to develop a taste for reindeer.

      The wood stove is so comforting in the winter…and the basement is so cold, I’m frequently freezing my bazookas off on my work from home days. No need to hoard that wood anymore; I’ll gladly build fires all winter long to keep it cozy down here.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. You could do that surely, I mean it can’t be that different to venison?

    A good friend had both an open fire and a stove in her home (where I regularly visited) and taught me how to lay fires properly. I just loved them – the comfort factor was so high. I’ll try not to think of you during your cosy winter with too much of the green eyed monster in me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I actually had a reindeer sausage once in Portland. Sure enough, it was delicious!

      It’s just SO cozy in the basement with the wood stove going. No wonder we spend a lot more time down there in the winter than the summer!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. BTW, if you shoot me an email, I’ll reply with links to some of those haunted posts.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As you’re back on FB, I’ll DM you my email on there. And thank you kindly 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, right. Even better! You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. I skimmed over all your math with glazed eyes. This is why I married an engineer and use Excel spreadsheets. But stay toasty my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad the only one who lost track of the complicated math three words in…

      Liked by 1 person

  20. That’s a lot of wood. I had no idea what a cord or face cord was either!

    Do you need to cover it up, to keep it dry for future use?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep; that’s the plan. We have a couple of tarps that should do the trick nicely.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I would’ve just said, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak firewood,” and gone home. That is a lot of wood—and in your defense the ad said $100…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! Great plan, except I was already home, and three face cords of firewood were already piled up in the yard. At that point I was stuck!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I didn’t read all the comments, so someone probably already said this – or you just know it anyway, but that wood will serve you for as long as you need it to. We had cut hardwood stacked for nearly fifteen years when I sold it after Rich passed. It was still in great condition and very well-seasoned but not dried out. I get the manly aspect of cutting your own wood, but you could still do that on a smaller scale. 🙂 Looking forward to seeing the finished kitchen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely true. Unless a log thief absconds with it, that wood will eventually all end up in our wood stove…even if that takes a few years.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Whoa – who knew? Not me but now I do. Nice work on the pile, Mark!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Wynne. This has been a learning experience for us all!

      Like

  24. The synchronicity with the ‘face’ was funny for me to read. Meanwhile, I just finished reading a blog post where the writer complained about a situation being too ‘math-y’ which for me now makes two complaints about math in blogs in one day.

    😃

    Be careful what you wish for… You are a master manifester, right? We may just be in for a hell of a cold winter… 🥶

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, the face thing is really weird. Perhaps I should have dwelt upon that more.

      The last two winters have been underwhelming, so we’re due for a whole bunch of snow and cold! I’ll get right on that.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. We used to always order a cord of wood. Then when I moved into a condo with no room to store wood I just started buying those little bundles at the grocery store, which are getting more and more expensive. I just gave Sarah and David a whole stack of wood (but not a cord) and two full boxes of starter logs that I can’t use because the fireplace at the new house is gas! I wish you a harsh winter and maybe a few power outages so you won’t regret getting all that wood! (No I’m just kidding, I don’t wish that on you).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! The harsh winter I can stand, but I’d rather keep the electricity on. If the power goes out, we have no water because of our well. There’s not a damn thing a stack of wood can do about that!

      Like

  26. I want to laugh and joke, but I would’ve made the same mistake Mark. Ha, ha, at the very least, you’ll have one warm house this winter!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s nothing cozier than hanging out in the basement, watching movies with the wood stove going. We may cycle through our entire DVD collection…and it’s pretty big!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. You should have titled this:

    Three Face Cords and an empty whiskey bottle away from a country song.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! I admit, I was tempted to carry on the whole chords/cords theme.

      Like

  28. Well, in nyc anyway, it’s supposed to be an early and cold winter…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope you have a big stack of firewood all ready to go!

      Err…probably not…

      Liked by 1 person

  29. As always, I learned something new from your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Uh-oh. Don’t say “always.” It’s too much pressure!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Relatable. Pride goeth before the empty bank account. (I once parked in the wrong location at an airport and when I returned five days later…woah.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tara once couldn’t find her car after returning from a trip and practically had the airport police searching high and low. Turns out she was in the wrong garage.

      Like

  31. I am the world’s worst at checking dimensions. I’m forever getting more (or less) than I was expecting. We probably have that much firewood on hand. We love our wood-burning stove, but it’s Georgia; we’re not in danger of running out any time soon.

    Like

  32. My BIL has a wood selling business and he’s always throwing around these terms and I’m happy to say that I ignore all of it! It seems far too complicated for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, good to know. I may reach out to you when we go through all our wood. So, expect to hear from me in 2031 or so!

      Like

  33. Mark, I think considering where you reside you have a decent shot at making a dent in that inventory.🪵🪓

    Like

  34. […] chilly 28° this morning and my home office is in the basement, I decided to take advantage of our ample supply of wood and light a fire in the wood […]

    Like

Leave a reply to Midwest Mark Cancel reply

THE LATEST SCOOP