Have you ever sat through a 30-minute Zoom call or Teams meeting thinking you were on mute, only to discover afterward you had a hot mic the whole time?
Welcome to my world.
Luckily, I didn’t curse or sneeze or break into a coughing fit or make rude comments under my breath about any of the other attendees. But I did laugh out loud – uproariously, more than once – because the speaker was saying some funny shit. And forget about anonymity; even though my camera wasn’t on, my profile lit up every time the microphone detected speech. Or, in this case, laughter. Especially the loud and uproarious kind. Dammit, the one time this happens, I end up with an entertaining presenter! I hope the funny human being took this as a compliment.
Granted, this wasn’t my most embarrassing work-related mishap; that time Tara was getting frisky with me at an after-hours company function and the whole thing was caught on camera probably takes the cake (though the mere fact that I have to use the word probably tells you all you need to know about my sordid history of workplace shenanigans).
To be fair, we were newlyweds at the time…though also to be fair, this would probably still happen today. It’s a good thing CheeseGov doesn’t have many after-work functions.
I swear, technology will be the death of me yet.
Greetings from the Swamp
You know it’s humid when you wake up in the morning and every window in your house is completely fogged up.
That’s what happens when you have the A/C running and the heat index is 110° outside. It’s been like this ever since Scott and Esther came to visit, with very little relief all week. Feels like we’re living in a swamp.
On the plus side, the firebugs/lightning flies (can we split the difference and compromise on this naming convention?) absolutely thrive in swamps. There were dozens upon dozens of them lighting up our yard last night – probably the most I’ve seen here yet. So many, I wandered around the yard at dusk, trying to capture them on video. Knowing mosquitoes also love swamps, I slipped on a hoodie, heat and humidity be damned. Stupidly, I did not take similar precautions with the lower half of my body, and traipsed about the property in shorts and flip-flops. So, yeah, not a single bite above my waist, but the thirsty little bloodsuckers feasted on my ankles and feet.
I’d share the video, but it doesn’t do the scene justice. You just see a bunch of tiny flashing lights and a whole lot of blackness. I read some tips on photographing lightning bugs (tripod, wide-angle lens, manual focus, wide aperture, slow shutter speed, low ISO), so I may bust out the Nikon and give that a try soon. If/when I do, you bet your ass I’ll be covered from head to toe.
I still contend it was worth it to see so many fireflies up close like that. Itches fade but memories last a lifetime.
In the meantime, pass the Calamine, please and thank you.
Tokyo’s in Danger! Send in the Army!
At least with all the heat and humidity, we’ve had some showers and thunderstorms this week. No torrential downpours – just enough to keep the grass green and growing. Good thing I got JD back, huh?
All day yesterday, the sky was filled with ginormous, towering cumulus clouds that looked like they were trying to grab a hold of the stratosphere.
Naturally, those clouds started morphing into shapes my brain tried to make sense of. At one point I thought I saw Godzilla in the sky, one foot raised as if he were about to stomp on Tokyo.
(I might blame this on an overactive imagination and too many monster movies as a child, but really, there’s no such thing as too many monster movies. Godzilla, King Kong, Mothra, Mighty Joe Young, Ghidorah, even the creepy burrowing worms in Tremors and the kinda-cuddly-until-you-feed-them-after-midnight Gremlins, I loved them all.)
I’m a sucker for #cloudporn and once had an Instagram account devoted solely to clouds. Between the lightning bugs and gargantuan cloud formations, I spent a lot of time wandering around the yard with a camera in my hand yesterday.
Got another hot and humid weekend on tap so I’m not sure what we’re going to do, other than bitch about it. Oh, my favorite pop-up cookie vendor will be at the farmers market tomorrow, so I will grab a few to go.
If sea salt caramel chocolate chip cookies are the highlight of my weekend, well, there are worse ways to spend a couple of days off.
What’s your most embarrassing work-related incident? Do you like monster movies? Got a can’t-fail mosquito itch remedy you’d like to share?
Mark My Words 
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