“We’re going to be chasing that cheese curd high forever!” — Scott, after a fish fry dinner at The Old Fashioned in Madison.
The Old Fashioned does have the best curds in Wisconsin (at least based on the places we’ve tried), and that bar is set pretty high. It’s hard to find a bad cheese curd; some are good, others are really good, and a few are great. We actually got into a discussion on how to rate cheese curds: you have to take into account several different factors. Type of cheese, batter (beer vs. breaded, ratio of batter to cheese) size/shape (some places serve square curds, which is just wrong — those don’t occur in nature!), crispiness vs. sogginess, how long they maintain their temperature, and of course, the cheese pull. You also have to take into account the dipping sauce (which should always be ranch dressing — save the marinara for mozzarella sticks). It can elevate a mediocre curd or drag down an excellent one.
Esther suggested I start (another) blog or Instagram account devoted solely to exploring cheese curds across the state, which admittedly sounds like a delicious idea, but people like Midwest Munchers have already beaten me to the punch with their food-centric Wisco projects.
Cheese curds might have been the highlight of their visit, if only because the weather was so godawful we didn’t get a chance to do a lot of the outdoor activities we’d planned. The heat and humidity made it feel like a hellscape pretty much all weekend.
(Heat index of 112°, yo. Gross.)
There were more than just curds, of course. Like Bloody Marys! It didn’t take us long to find some after retrieving our guests from the Milwaukee airport on Thursday.
Heat indices be damned, we did venture into Madison on Friday afternoon and spent a couple of hours strolling around Olbrich Botanical Gardens. Esther’s thumb is just as green as Tara’s, so the womenfolk spent a significant portion of the long weekend talking about hardiness zones and whether Melody or Gallery dahlias make the best borders and the effectiveness of Neem oil on aphids and how to get tomatoes to grow bigger and a million other gardening topics that kinda made my eyes glaze over.
Afterward, we suggested touring the state capital or hanging out lakeside at Memorial Union Terrace, but that heat and humidity just sapped our energy. We decided on an early dinner at The Old Fashioned for a traditional Friday Fish fry and the aforementioned cheese curds instead, hellbent on giving our visitors the full Wisconsin treatment.
Saturday’s outing included lunch in Cambridge (more cheese curds) and a visit to Ellenbach’s Cheese Chalet in DeForest. It’s always fun to see visitors’ faces when they spot the enormous selection of cheese available out here.
We stopped by an Amish country store on the way back to really drive home the point that we are no longer city folk. Alas, there were no horse-drawn buggies to be seen, though occasionally one will make its way through our neighborhood.
(Probably for the better. I’d have no doubt embarrassed everyone by doing my best Weird Al “Amish Paradise” impression if we’d spotted one.)
That evening we introduced them to our Saturday record and card night ritual by busting out Phase 10 and taking turns picking albums. We rarely play Phase 10 because that’s a game that ideally requires three or more players, and neither Laverne nor Shirley can shuffle cards for shit.
Sunday, the weather was no less brutal — in fact, it was even hotter and muggier, if such a thing is possible — so we had another low-key day. We went out to lunch at Brock’s Riverwalk Tavern in downtown Fort (more cheese curds) and then roamed around Five Star Antiques for a while before calling it a day and luxuriating in the air-conditioned comfort of MarTar Manor.
I know I’ve been bitching about the weather a lot, and the weather deserves to be bitched about, but I don’t want you to think it ruined their visit or anything. We made the most of it and had a fun time together! They were impressed with the natural beauty and greenness of Wisconsin, loved our house and yard, and marveled over the fireflies lightning bugs every night. Scott hadn’t seen them in decades, and it was Esther’s first time, so that was pretty cool.
As I write this post, our guests are somewhere over…I dunno. Montana, probably, big-ass state and all. They were out the door at 4 a.m. for a very early flight and should touch down in Oregon sometime around noon.
While I’m glad we all had a great visit, the weather in Springfield today is partly cloudy and 78°, so I am sure they’ll be doing the Dorothy “there’s no place like home!” dance the moment they step off the plane.
I need to convince them to visit in December next time.
Mark My Words 
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