Tuesday was my one-year anniversary at CheeseGov. Even though it’s a cliche, I’m going to say it anyway: I can’t believe it’s been a year already. Time flies! and all the usual platitudes apply.
It seems like just yesterday I gathered with a group of strangers in the parking lot, where we swapped dark glasses and stared at the sun. Man, they have some weird hazing rituals there!
(J/K. There was a solar eclipse that day.)
My team marked the occasion by sharing appreciative sentiments and funny GIFs. They said they were lucky and fortunate to have me, so I guess I’m doing an okay job. Working for the government has its ups and downs. Literally: I take an elevator every day I’m at HQ!
I enjoy the work, even though it’s mostly anonymous (social media posts, press releases, and email outreach). I’ve written a few trade magazine articles attributed to other CheeseGov people, but I’m at the stage in my career where bylines are less important than they once were. Churning out words for others from my sixth-floor cubicle, I like to think of myself as a ghost writer in the sky.
Just like Johnny Cash!
OK, maybe not exactly like Johnny Cash.
The one thing CheeseGov provides is lots of PTO. And they encourage you to use it, only allowing 40 hours of carryover each year. I still have 28 unused hours from 2024 I need to take by June 30, plus 104 hours in 2025…and on top of that, another 32 hours of personal time. This feels like an embarrassment of riches! I have had jobs where I had to work one year before I could tap into a measly 40 hours of PTO.
Eff you, corporate America.
Doing the math, I need to take at least 15.5 days off between now and the end of the year. We don’t have any big trips planned, other than a birthday weekend in Duluth at the end of April, so I’m almost struggling to use it all…but this is a good problem to have! My parents are coming out next month, and my brother and SIL in June, so I’m planning a couple of days off for each visit. And if I have to take a bunch of random Fridays off (like I’m doing tomorrow), or turn three-day holiday weekends into four- or five-day breaks, that’s a sword I’m willing to fall upon.
All in all, it’s been a good mutual fit, and I’m happy to be working there.
Manifesting Saturn
Speaking of work, I was thinking of my first “real” job after college the other day. I’d graduated from San Jose State University in December with a BA in Advertising but had no interest in that field, so it took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.
In the interim, I was a real-life mall rat, working at a Brookstone in Santa Clara, California. They could only offer me part-time hours, but since I was no longer in school and in need of more money, I took a job with the competition. The Sharper Image gave me a full-time gig stocking shelves for $6 an hour (a fortune at the time). I look back on that brief period of my life with nostalgic fondness. It was 1992, Nirvana’s Nevermind was taking the world by storm, and my adult life was just beginning!
Side note: is it any wonder I have a fondness for gadgets to this day?
Six weeks into my Sharper Image stint, I landed an interview with a global manufacturing company. This was the “real” job I’d coveted! I felt so confident after my interview, I did one of the ballsiest but dumbest things in my life: I went out and bought a car. Not just any ol’ car; a brand new Saturn SC sports coupe with fancy pop-up headlights. In teal, because this was 1992.
What the hell was I thinking?! The interview had gone well, but there were other candidates they were meeting with, and no promises had been made. I certainly didn’t have an offer in hand. And yet, I strolled into that dealership like I owned the place. When I signed the paperwork, I put down Global Mfg. Co. as my employer. The next day, I drove to my barely-minimum-wage job at the mall in a sporty coupe that always turned heads.
Man. Talk about brash, young, and stupid. There are so many ways this could have gone wrong, starting with the repo man showing up and ending with a serious ding on my credit…
…and yet, the next day, Global Mfg. Co. offered me the job. By the time the Saturn finance guys ran the paperwork and verified my information, it was all legit. Everything checked out perfectly.
Recounting this story with Tara last night, I had an epiphany: I manifested that Saturn. And the job with Global Mfg. Co. I’ve talked about my manifesting abilities before, but had never made this particular connection. Wow. I’ve been conjuring stuff out of thin air longer than I realized!
Kids, I do not recommend this car-buying strategy. Please don’t be like 23 y/o Mark. This story had a happy ending (I loved my Saturn, and the Global Mfg. Co. job lasted 10 years – still the longest job I’ve ever held), but it easily could have backfired. This scheme wouldn’t even work today; dealerships don’t make phone calls to verify information, and they certainly don’t just take your word for it.
Come to think of it, maybe I’m a little more Frank Abagnale Jr. than Johnny Cash.
What was your most impulsive purchase? Ever misrepresent your employment or financial status? What is the favorite car you’ve ever owned?
Mark My Words 
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