Earlier this week – the one day I was in the office, as it turns out (more on that in a sec) – a couple of peeps from the Training/Development team approached me for an impromptu brainstorming session. They are in the midst of rebranding what had previously been called New Employee Orientation and were looking for help with a name, preferably one with a catchy acronym.

The gal was leaning toward calling the program New Employee Welcome Day, but I immediately cautioned her against that. When she asked why, I replied, “I don’t think CheeseGov wants to promote NEWD sessions.”

The look on both their faces was priceless. The naked truth is, neither had given the acronym a second thought, whereas my mind immediately went there. Not sure what that says about me, but I digress. We finally settled on NEED (New Employee Engagement Day), which is a much better choice. Not nearly as titillating, but I suppose that’s the point.

That was Tuesday. Normally I work onsite in Madison on Wednesday as well, but I’d scheduled an appointment with a chimney sweep that morning. We’ve been using our wood stove a lot since it’s been so cold this winter, and it occurred to me that I have no idea when Dick last had it inspected and cleaned. Paranoid that MarTar Manor might go up in flames at any moment, I figured it was best to have a professional come for a lil’ preventive maintenance. There was a big winter storm forecast that day, so all the better. Avoiding a long commute over a two-lane highway in whiteout conditions seemed prudent.

When I ran this by my supervisor, not only was she supportive, but she said her husband once upon a time worked as a chimney sweep. What are the odds?! I didn’t even know the profession still existed until scheduling that appointment a few days ago. The only chimney sweep I know is Dick Van Dyke, and he hasn’t Chim Chim Cher-eed in six decades.

The snow arrived right on schedule, but the chimney sweep did not. He called an hour before he was due to show up, asking if we could reschedule. This didn’t surprise me in the least. I can’t imagine climbing up a tall ladder onto a roof even when it’s sunny and dry, let alone in the middle of a raging snowstorm (assuming that’s what he has to do; it’s not like we have an actual chimney, so even if Santa shed two-thirds of his body mass, there’s no way he could wriggle up and down a skinny little flue). He’ll be coming by next Thursday instead. (The chimney sweep, not Saint Nick.)

This meant I had a bonus WFH day in which to watch the snow pile up.

We ended up with 5″ of light, fluffy snow when all was said and done, making this our biggest snowfall all season (so far). While we could use the moisture, at least this made shoveling the driveway easier. Good thing, because we did that twice.

I said “so far” because we’ve got another storm moving in just in time for the weekend. Amounts could run anywhere from 2-7″ or more, so the only thing I know for sure is, we aren’t going anywhere this weekend. Friday’s an in-office day for Tara; the snow’s not supposed to really get going until 6 p.m., so hopefully she’ll be back home by then.


A few nights ago, we saw the new season of Top Chef advertised on Hulu. Eager to dive into our favorite cooking competition, we quick-fired it up.

Right off the bat, we were confused. Tom Colicchio had hair; Gail Simmons looked like a fresh-faced sorority girl; the host was neither Padma Lakshmi nor Kirsten Kish, but someone we had never seen before; and the contestants were wandering the streets of San Francisco instead of Canada, the location for Season 22.

After 15 minutes, I said to Tara, “Something’s fishy here” and hit pause. That’s when we discovered we were inadvertently watching Season 1, which aired 19 years ago.

That certainly explained a lot, as people don’t generally age in reverse.

Here’s the thing: I didn’t start watching Top Chef until the third season, and Tara jumped aboard even later. For all intents and purposes this is a new season for us, so we’ve just continued watching (even though I think I know who wins based on a couple of familiar faces from later seasons). It’s interesting to see how the show has evolved over the years; there were a lot more amateur chefs in 2006, no Whole Foods or Restaurant Wars or Last Chance Kitchen, and even the challenges seem…well, less challenging.

Because I fancy myself a completist, maybe we’ll watch Season 2 next.


69 responses to “No NEWDs is good news.”

  1. Enjoy all that nice fluffy stuff . . . like I enjoy being able to comment on your block without doing acrobatics or resorting to reader.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. A comment editing feature would be nice, huh?

        Like

    1. Yay! Glad it’s working normally again.

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  2. Envious of your snow actually. We were supposed to get 2-3 over about 24 hours but it seems stalled just to the South plus it’s seems there is not much actual moisture to make snow. We have hints of that “snow sky” but nothing falling so your pics make me wistful. None of the birds have headed for cover yet either…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear Portland is looking at a potential ice storm. I don’t wish that on anybody! We had a little bit of freezing drizzle one morning last week and couldn’t even make it out of the driveway.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They seem to get a lot of those down that way then the storms move up towards us and often fizzle out. That’s what the meteorologists seem to indicate is happening now. They can keep the ice for sure- not a fan.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love that you had to say ‘I have an appointment with a chimney sweep’ as a reason why you needed to work from home. good job saving your office from the ‘newd’ group. my daughter used to work in washington d.c. as a writer at the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. (Also known as PNAS) not kidding. After a couple of years and so many shenanigans, they formally announced that no one was allowed to call it PNAS in meetings anymore, people could not control their laughter, and things had gone off the rails. They also had a ‘sexy science’ competition each week to see who had to edit the weirdest scientific paper or subject. High nerd level fun!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I debated for a second just saying I was feeling under the weather, but why manufacture an excuse when the truth is so much fun? (Speaking of fun, I’d have had a ball working for PNAS. As you can tell by what I did there!)

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I hate to admit my mind works like yours, but I read ‘nude’ right off. And while that would definitely make new employees pay attention… I doubt it would be in the way state gov’t intended.
    Lovely snow pics. We were due for 6 inches today but barely got two, and that turned yo icy sleet at the end. Boo to that.
    Chimney sweeps are common up here as many people burn wood exclusively. Haven’t seen Dick though…

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    1. I bet Dick would pop up at the next NEWD session.

      Sorry! I’m just as bad!! Will the storm hitting us tomorrow night swing through your area over the weekend?

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      1. Between you and Vancouver,I guess we are glad we are in Florida right now

        .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Given the -6° temperature here and the massive vehicle pileup in the Gorge, you’re lucky to be exactly where you are this week!

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      3. Yes, we’re due for more snow Saturday night/Sunday.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m kind of sad that NEWD won’t be a thing at CheeseGov.

    No snow here but we are enjoying some fairly substantial (for SoCal) rain. Happy dances all around.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and let them run with it.

      Glad you’re getting some much-needed rain!

      Like

  6. Never seen Top Chef. Don’t know who you’re referring to but am sure it’s a good thing for you to watch it to completion. It’ll make you feel whole and that’s something good nowadays.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess all my posts about Top Chef Wisconsin went over your head last year. If you’re even remotely interested in cooking competitions, you should check it out! It’s much better than any of the others out there (though you gotta love Chopped, too!).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The only cooking competition TV show I’ve seen is The Great British Baking Show— and after a few seasons of it I lost interest. Competition doesn’t draw me in. 🤷‍♀️

        Liked by 1 person

  7. About NEWD – who (k)NEWD it? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not the Training/Development folks apparently!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hilarious – about your Top Chef adventure. And hey – guess what? We’ve had “Jiminy Chimney” here most of the week doing chimney repair and we’ve got the scaffolding on the side of the house to prove it. I’ve wanted to crack jokes about Dick Van Dyke but…you know. Snow, ice, scaffolding and working outdoors in winter? I thought better of sharing my humor. And see – I didn’t need to sacrifice a thing. You covered it for me! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh, scaffolding. In my past life (TobacCo), one of our biggest clients was a scaffolding firm. I wrote so many different articles about scaffolding, I feel like I could start a second career in the trades if I wanted to. Except for this fear of heights…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s amazing…your skills and experience extend in so many directions! 🥰😉🥰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Up, down, and sideways even!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s a prerequisite that every chimney sweep acts and dances just like Dick Van Dyke right? They gotta get tired of the comparison, right? Ha, ha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It may be lost on the younger generation. Then again, they aren’t the ones hiring chimney sweeps, are they?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Cooking shows just make me hungry. I try and avoid them! I did know there are chimney sweeps, mainly because chimney maintenance is crucial in New Hampshire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Word on the street is, you have your own personal chef whipping up delicacies anyway. No need to turn on the TV in the Ashbough household!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. We used a chimney sweep a number of times at our old house when we had a wood burning fireplace. He never went on our roof that I know off. I do remember seeing an ad for a chimney sweep that dressed the part in top hat and tails. Interesting…..

    I’ve watched all seasons of Top Chef, but do not remember Tom ever having hair! Now I need to look that up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just a little bit of hair in the back. I didn’t even notice until Tara pointed it out. Which is probably why it took me a full 15 minutes to realize something was amiss.

      My supervisor said the reason her husband quit sweeping chimneys was because he hated climbing on top of roofs.

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  12. In government and in education, everything turns into an acronym as you well know. I do like NEWD though and would enjoy saying it in all sorts of contexts. 😉 I’m a GBBO fan; do you think I would like Top Chef? Are they mean? The snow is very pretty; we’re getting some too, not serious stuff unless it gets icy tonight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve never watched Great British Bake-Off, but I’m pretty sure if you like that, you’ll enjoy Top Chef too. I’m pretty sure TC was an inspiration for GBBO, YKWIM?

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  13. So much good stuff here! Smart on the chimney sweep. My parents had a fire in their chimney; scared the bejeebers out of them. The cap flew off the top. They were lucky the house didn’t catch on fire.

    You really got some snow! With more to come! Good practice for if you move to NE Ohio. You’ll have more than that. 🙂

    I love Top Chef! Thanks for the heads up its coming around again. I was so disappointed when Padma left but felt Kirsten did a really great job.

    Snuggle up with Tara this weekend and drink lots of hot chocolate (in between shoveling, of course).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A few weeks ago, there was so much smoke from our wood fire, I was paranoid the roof was on fire. Luckily not, but that was the main reason why I scheduled the appointment with ol’ Van Dyke.

      While I enjoyed visiting NE Ohio, I think I’m happy enough with the snow we get in America’s Dairyland!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. As someone who’s worked a LOT of jobs (spent most of my career doing contract work), I appreciate you catching the acronym, but also prefer New Hire Orientation.

    I’m indoors, wrapped in fuzzy clothes but still cold, and your snow pics really increased my chill! I’d never survive.. but I’d have a snowblower and go to town with it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They’re trying to get away from the word Orientation, because this is something they’re scheduling about four weeks after new hires begin, giving them time to settle into their jobs. It’s long overdue, too. When I attended last year, it was my seventh week…but for a bunch of others, it was their second day. A revamp was definitely in order!

      The snow blower works great for heavier, wetter snow. We may be gassing ours up tomorrow…we shall see! (I hope so. Much like the John Deere, it’s a lot of fun.)

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Meanwhile, over here at WaterGov, it was decided early on in the process not to call our new advisory group the Stakeholder Leaders Advisory Group.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! One of the possibilities that did not make the cut at CheeseGov was SPEW (Standard Procedure Employee Warnings). Acronym aside, that was a stupid name. I have no idea what “warnings” has to do with working there! Maybe I don’t want to know, actually…

      Liked by 1 person

  16. We have guests coming this weekend and a lot of our plans are Milwaukee based. I guess we’ll see how much like living on the edge we want to do!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The worst of it is supposed to be tonight, so hopefully the roads will be fine tomorrow if you do head into the city!

      Like

  17. Well you might as well watch season 2….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We probably will. I know that’s when Padma joined the cast.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I love the naked glee with which you pointed out the acronym… hilarious!

    You mean the John Deere doesn’t double as a snowplow. Hmmm!

    Hope you have a delightful and delicious weekend ahead. I see the chances as very high!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually, they do sell snowplow attachments for the John Deere. One of these days when we’re rolling in dough maybe! But if the snow is deep enough, we’ll bust out the snow blower.

      Like

  19. The new season of Top Chef will be in Canada?!?! Yay!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep! I hope we don’t have to pay a tariff to watch it…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🤣🤣🤣

        WE BETTER NOT.

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  20. I was really hoping Dick Van Dyke would come into play here. Of course you didn’t disappoint.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think there’s some kind of law that says you’re legally obligated to make a reference to Mary Poppins any time you mention chimney sweeps!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. That sounds about right.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. The NEWD thing reminds me of a story a middle school teacher told of how she and her husband had a name all picked out for their son… and then realized his initials would be ASS. Thankfully they caught it in time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Not all parents consider initials when naming their kids. My brother is SAP and he hates that!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. We got snow here, too! Finally! I’m headed out back to XC ski soon – first time in two years thanks to last year’s non-winter.
    Would you believe the Husband’s younger brother – the one who visited last summer and inspired (along with your post) the purchase of the cornhole set – is also a chimney sweep?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What is it with all these chimney sweeps suddenly appearing out of the woodwork?! I guess it isn’t a dying profession after all.

      I am sitting here watching giant snowflakes falling outside as I type this. We’ve had 7″ already this week. Nice of Mother Nature to finally throw us a bone!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Wow, I don’t know how you do meaning and acronyms so easily. I’m glad someone didn’t ask for a good acronym for people of German descent. I tried experimenting with Google translate and for a while there were no vowels. Eventually I got NIKAT*. I think I heard of a chimney sweep once whose name was Nick Knack but he didn’t have a cat although he was a good skier and survived an avalanch.

    • Neu im Kinderspiel am Tag
      New in children’s play a day

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  24. Always check your acronyms.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I’ve never watched Top Chef, so they’d all be New To Me. (No good acronym for that!)

    The snow DOES look lovely, but I’m guessing it is also cold, which is where you’d lose me.

    I just saw Dick Van Dyke doing some press for a new project recently….the guy is still working. Surely not in the Chimney Sweeping business, but working otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Man, there’s no “quit” in that guy, is there? He could easily rest on his laurels but he’s still out there, entertaining the masses. Long live the Van Dykes!

      Liked by 2 people

  26. […] morning, the chimney sweep showed up for his rescheduled appointment. Sadly, neither he nor his assistant even remotely […]

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  27. I love me an old musical, but Dick van Dyke and his “cockney” accent – oh nooooooo! The horror…

    I am absolutely useless with an acronym, my brain just doesn’t think that way. I believe it is a particular talent, one which you clearly have. I tend to have a preference for alliteration, but cannot for the life of me think of anything suitable to offer. Good thing CheeseGov has you to hand, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m assuming, based on your response, that Dick did butchered the Cockney accent. Not that this Yank would know the difference between his and a real one!

      I’m all about alliteration also.

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  28. I’m afraid that – magnificent though Dick van Dyke is in every other way – he did absolutely butcher the cockney accent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cor blimey, mate! That comment was a right proper knees-up! Never ‘ad such a butcher’s at something so spot on. You’ve really got the ol’ loaf workin’, innit? Makes me wanna pop down the Frog and Toad for a cheeky pint! Cheers, me old china, keep up the dog and bone!

      Like

  29. […] good and logical reason for all this: the Communications team is shooting an introductory video for NEWD…err, NEED…orientation, and we decided to have fun with it by sharing two personal facts about […]

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