Tara was feeling bad about the gifts she got me last Christmas, so for my birthday in April, she went all out and got me a Bird Buddy. When I stumbled across the price online – and by “stumbled across,” I mean, intentionally Googled – I saw just how badly she felt. Yikes!
For the record, I never complained about my holiday presents, or lack thereof. Few people can match my expert gift-giving skills. She could get me a card for all I care and I’d be happy.
(It had better be a damn good card, though.)
Gotta admit, the Bird Buddy is pretty slick. I first became aware of smart bird feeders through Kari’s Instagram stories. She regularly posts videos of the feathered visitors who flock to her yard, and they’re always a hoot (though, come to think of it, never an owl). I never told Tara I wanted a smart feeder, but clearly she intuited it. Ours has been up a little over a week now and it’s proving to be immensely entertaining.
When I first set it up though, I was not expecting this.
Not that I’m surprised. I’ve written before about my ongoing battle against squirrels stealing from our feeders. The fact that this is a fancy, hi-tech one doesn’t mean squat to these furry bastards.
Eventually though, birds showed up, too. Including our beloved cardinals.
I bought a squirrel baffle in an attempt to thwart them. Moved the garden hook the Bird Buddy was hanging from away from anything they could climb. It still didn’t help; apparently, squirrels can leap three feet into the air, circumventing the baffle, and pull themselves onto the feeder.
I’ll begrudgingly admit, you’ve got to admire their tenacity. It’s kind of how I came around to respecting Tom Brady.
This morning, before heading out on my walk, the feeder was empty, so I filled it. When I returned an hour later, it was completely empty again. I knew there was no way a squirrel could ingest all that birdseed so quickly, so I pulled up the Bird Buddy app and found a new culprit.
Man, that’s one weird-looking bird!
(The Bird Buddy uses AI to identify the various bird species, and it’s pretty accurate…though this clearly was not, as it assumed, a “grey catbird.”)
I suppose this is funny on some level, but I fail to see the humor in spending gobs of money on 20-lb. bags of birdseed – let me reiterate, BIRDseed, not DEERseed – that only last a week.
This was all-out war now, so I made a trip to our friendly neighborhood garden center, where I bought the tallest pole I could find. Mounted the Bird Buddy on top instead of hanging it, secured the baffle, drove a three-foot section of metal rebar into the ground, and placed the pole over that for added support. So help me, if this doesn’t keep the squirrels and deer away, nothing will.
Some squirrel is going to try leaping off the deck railing, huh? I don’t think he’d stand a chance in hell of actually making it onto the feeder, but I also wouldn’t bet my life on that.
Thankfully, flying squirrels aren’t indigenous to Wisconsin.
Mark My Words 
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