Tara and I were tossing around ideas for things to do today. Kayaking was one possibility. We discussed going to the movies to catch Oppenheimer. In the end, we settled on just hanging out at home because we needed a day to recharge.

Not our bodies or minds. Our electronic devices.

Seriously, when I got up this morning, my phone was at 32%, my Fitbit 21%, and my Kindle, 46%. Those are all perilously low numbers. Tara’s were similar. At least my laptop is fully charged, though after catching up on blogging, I’m sure I’ll be plugging this sucker in later, too.

First world problems, huh? I shudder to think what our forefathers would make of us. They were busy dying of dysentery on the Oregon Trail while we freak out when we have to wait an hour to catch up on Wordle. But I refuse to apologize for being alive at this particular moment in time. It’s not my fault I have all this electronic convenience at my fingertips! I’m sure in another hundred years, when folks are teleporting themselves from Milwaukee to Madrid in five seconds, they’ll think we had it unbelievably hard.

At least I hope so. I’d hate for historians to view me as too pampered.

To be fair, we could use a respite today anyway. Goat Fest took all the wind out of our sails yesterday. What’s Goat Fest, you ask? Exactly what it sounds like: a festival devoted to goats in Jefferson, Wisconsin. The next town over from ours.

There are these goats, you see. And this island in the Rock River named, appropriately enough, Goat Island. Every summer, they ferry the goats over to the island, where they are free to roam. You can only reach the island by boat or kayak, but you’re free to hang out with the goats if you paddle over. They bring them back to the mainland in the fall, before the weather gets too cold. These goats have quite the local following, as evidenced by this whole festival celebrating their existence.

Judging by the goat-themed t-shirts, coozies, and stickers we bought, I guess you can count Team MarTar as fans, too. For years, we’ve talked about having a goat or two. The only reason we don’t is because they would compete with the John Deere, and well, we can’t have that now, can we?

Goat Fest was exactly as you might imagine a small-town festival celebrating goats would be. Arts and crafts booths, food trucks, beer garden, live music, and goat races. After grabbing a beer, wandering along the river, and buying a giant flower made out of spoons for the garden, as one does…

…we walked across the river (on a bridge, not Jesus-like), and stopped at The Heron’s Landing for cocktails and apps on the patio. It was an absolute delight of an afternoon.


After clocking out at noon on Friday, I spent four hours doing yard work. I hadn’t mowed in a couple of weeks, and the recent rain (which has sadly become less recent in recent days) really got the grass growing again. After mowing, I broke out the weed whacker and set about whacking. All of a sudden, without warning, I felt a pain in my leg so sharp, I literally screamed out loud and dropped the weed whacker. Sure enough, there was a large welt and a bright red pinprick on my shin, accompanied by a fiery pain the likes of which I have never experienced before. I never saw what stung me, so I have no idea whether it was a bee or a wasp or a murder hornet, but I sure as hell felt it.

I’d never been stung before, so my mind went to some dark places over the next hour. What if I were allergic? You hear horror stories. Hell, I saw Macaulay Culkin die from bees in My Girl. It’s not like I have epinephrine lying around the house. I figured the deed was done and I might as well be productive while waiting around to see if I croaked, so I busied myself picking blueberries and cleaning out the ponds. When 4:00 rolled around and I hadn’t keeled over, I figured I wasn’t allergic to bees or wasps, and was able to breathe a little easier.

We spent the evening on the deck enjoying beers, burgers, and perfect weather. And ended up getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, which hadn’t really been an issue before.

I swear, between the poison ivy and insects hellbent on causing discomfort, it feels like our backyard has it in for me. But it also produced pounds of delicious berries, three dozen of the juiciest and tastiest peaches ever, and there are currently more Concord grapes ripening on the vine than we will ever know what to do with.

The yard giveth and the yard taketh away. That seems fair to me.


56 responses to “Whatever floats your goat.”

  1. Where do the goats live in the winter? I’m intrigued.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They take ’em to a local slaughterhouse.

      I kid! I’m assuming one of the 100+ nearby farms.

      Like

  2. Look at me! So quick on the draw! I want to be recognized for my speed on this one, damnit!
    Anyway, what Martha said above about the goats in winter. Also, I was tempted to get a goat. They’re so darn cute and the whole lawn trimming thing would be a breeze! (No John Deere here.) But Hubby reminded me that they would eat the rose bushes, the lemon tree, the everything pretty much. We were once at a petting zoo and a goat took a chunk out of a dude’s shorts.
    The mosquitoes, ugh. That would bug me (heh) to no end. I feel like you’ve talked about this, but does Off do nothing for you? As to the sting, have you tried mixing a pinch of baking soda with a drop or two of water to make a paste? You slap that on your sting and the pain goes away instantly. Hubs didn’t grow up with this knowledge, so when I first did that for him, he lovingly said, “What kind of a witch are you?” He meant it in a nice way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Because you were so quick on the draw (though not quick enough to earn the coveted first comment), I’m awarding you a gold star. ⭐

      Off works great! When I put it on. Up until now, mosquitoes have never bothered us on the deck; they’ve tended to hang out closer to the ground, so I didn’t bother with spraying myself this time. Big mistake, as I am currently sporting 16 mosquito bites. Fun times! But, after dealing with the poison ivy and getting stung, mosquitoes don’t seem nearly as bad.

      I did not know about the baking soda trick. The pain subsided a couple of hours later, so I’m perfectly fine now. I’ll remember that if there is a next time.

      It’s rare that a woman is called a witch in a loving manner. Here, have another gold star for pulling that off! ⭐

      Liked by 1 person

      1. TWO gold stars! Woot! Woot!

        I think you need a screened in back porch to enjoy nature without nature enjoying you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If we screened any part of the back porch, it would be the lower level. We already have a roof in place. I do like the open deck…just gotta learn to use the Off!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yep. I guess this is how we learn.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d go to goat fest!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s where all the cool “kids” hang out.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So does Wisconsin embrace the goat cheese craze as well? I quite enjoy goat cheese and goats in general. Here we have Rhubarb fest- not much petting and no crazy eyeballs involved with your standard rhubarb.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s Wisconsin. We embrace ALL cheese, including goat. I love goat cheese, too. I have no idea why I didn’t buy any yesterday at the festival.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. When my phone’s battery falls below 50%, I get unusually nervous. It’s a running joke in my family, with the exception of my dad, who is the same way.

    Goat fest!! I hope you brought a goat, real or fake, home with you.

    I’m always afraid of getting stung. I’m glad you’re still with us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well. I have a “Whatever Floats Your Goat” t-shirt, so I figure that counts!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Maine has a lobster festival and a clam festival.. but I’m totally on board for goat fest! Sorry your beautiful back yard is fighting back with stinging insects… but as you say, free fruit outweighs a few bites.
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would expect Maine to have both those things, as well as a few clam chowder fests.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Chowders have cook offs. Usually alongside chili…

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Growing up my Grandma had a grapevine in the backyard in the city made both her own wine and stuffed grape leaves 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know if I’m adventurous enough to make my own wine (though it sure sounds good), but I bet I can figure out how to do a grape jam or jelly. And then maybe put that out for the orioles next spring. Circle of life and whatnot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No interest in making stuffed grape leaves ?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve never had them, but I’m down for pretty much anything.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. If ya ever eat middle eastern give em a try 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  8. It really is scary to have low charge these days; there is SO much I do with my phone. I also like to get credit for my steps on my FitBit. I did goat yoga at the Iowa State Fair due to pressure from my daughter. It was a hoot although the kids peeing on people/mats wasn’t my favorite part.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean about those Fitbit steps! I hate charging it and then walking around, knowing I’m missing out on all those precious steps!

      Goat yoga sounds like fun.

      Like

  9. I can’t believe you mentioned all the goat attractions and festivities and no goat cheese? In the land of cheese? Best thing ever: goat cheese on a water cracker topped with fig spread. Holy-yum!

    Sorry about your sting but I’m keeping Betsy’s witch’s potion in mind just in case it happens to me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Don’t get me wrong, I love goat cheese…and you’ve just mentioned the perfect combination, with the fig spread. Yum! They were selling some, but weirdly enough, I did not buy any. Clearly an oversight on my part.

      Like

  10. OMG, I must come to Goat Fest next year! Divine! 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’ll have a goat time, guaranteed!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Most definitely! I Kid you not! 🤪

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Such fun! Well, all except waiting to find out if you’d expire from the vicious bite/sting. Way to persevere! And… hey there…the bounty from your yard is impressive…yum! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And now, on top of the natural bounty, our cherry tomatoes that Tara planted are starting to come in. Score!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yum! I’m still salivating about your peaches. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Ever year a farm a few towns away has goat snuggling weekends. I am not ashamed to say we go every year. It helps them become socialized and the cost of goat snuggling tickets helps the farm out financially. And what is cuter than baby goats? Not much, except maybe piglets. But…GOATS!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Goat snuggling?! Love it!

      Like

  13. Wait a minute. . . You’ve lived this long and you’ve never been stung??? How is that even possible? I’ve been getting stung by assorted insects since I was 5 years old. I’ve even been stung in my house a few times!

    Goats are hilarious animals. Their faces have a lot of personality. Keep enjoying your summer, Mark.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nope, this was my first time ever being stung. Considering all the hiking I do, this is even more surprising. I guess I was overdue!

      Like

  14. I look forward to seeing the goats clearing brush on our hill every year. I was bummed they showed up this year while we were on the East Coast. It’s so funny hearing them yell at each other.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that they bring in goats to clear brush! Seems like a good side hustle, actually.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I would love to hire a heard of goats to clear the brush around my house! Wayyy better than hiring someone to bush hog! Nomnomnom

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Have you heard about the herd?

        Like

      3. Herd even. Ugh for autocorrect.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. It was a really goat time.

      Liked by 2 people

  15. I like goats and only wish the best for them, wherever they live. If you’re not familiar with it here’s a scene from Wings when Antonio sings “My Goat Knows the Bowling Score.” Best goat song ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was not familiar with that clip but I love it! I haven’t seen “Wings” in a very long time. Such a great show.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Thought this might come in handy:

    https://www.pleva.cz/en/a/bees-wasps-and-hornets-which-sting-hurts-most-and-how-does-to-protect-yourself-against-them

    BTW: Bees leave their stingers behind. No stinger, most likely not a bee.

    As for the Goat Fest . . . baaaaa!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s no stinger that I can see, and given that bees are more active in late spring/early summer and wasps and hornets in late summer, I’m going with one of the latter. Whatever it was: ouch!

      Like

  17. Just two words…”power monkey”?

    Liked by 1 person

  18. From what I’ve heard about goats, it wouldn’t just compete with your John Deere. It would compete with every living thing (and some nonliving things) in your garden for survival. And it would win.
    Goatfest looks fun. That’s so TarMar.
    I just booked a 20-hour, 2-leg flight to Australia. If I missed teleportation by a mere century, I’m going to be SO TICKED!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, no, no. MarTar, not TarMar. She and I have discussed this. We are in complete agreement. You wouldn’t drive a WagenVolks, would you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My mistake, though I can’t promise I won’t make it again!

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Goats are pretty cool in my book too! I love that there is an entire festival dedicated to them!
    Like you, all the bugs find me. *sigh* I just hung six (all-natural) Mosquito traps from Tougher Than Tom. Look them up; they are supposed to be fantastic. Mine haven’t had a chance to start working, but I’m hoping for less bites in the near future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Funny, we’ve been recommend similar products that are “supposed to be fantastic.” Nine times out of 10 they are not! You’ll have to report back on the Tougher Than Tom traps.

      Like

  20. […] swear, between Goat Fest and the Sweet Corn Festival, you might say we’ve been on the festival circuit lately, and […]

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  21. […] Tara and I drove to Jefferson for Goat Fest. We stumbled upon this annual event last year, had a great time, and decided to do it again. It’s your typical Midwest small town festival: […]

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