I was reading a blog post yesterday in which the author, Kari (aka Writer McWriterson), talked about how she never checks expiration dates in grocery stores. Kari, by her own admission, “blindly trusts corporations to put things on their shelves that haven’t expired.”
Eternal optimist though I may be, I absolutely do not trust corporations to act in the best interest of consumers. I expect the exact opposite, as a matter of fact. Probably too many years shilling for Corporate America has dimmed my outlook.
You have to check for expiration dates in the store, because grocers restock shelves from back to front. They want you to buy the older stuff so they don’t end up losing money. I don’t really fault them for this practice—honestly, it’s just smart business sense—but it’s a classic case of caveat emptor. This is one buyer who knows to beware! There is no way I’m walking into a store today and buying English muffins that expire on 8/4 when there is another, fresher package behind it that expires on 8/13.
One of the commenters on Kari’s blog wrote that she read an article that said expiration dates were invented by the manufacturers to sell more products, and are just suggestions designed to get you to throw out good food. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know this: expiration dates are not expiration dates. They do not indicate spoilage and have nothing to do with food safety. All they do is contribute to massive food waste in the U.S. thanks to unwitting consumers tossing out perfectly good food that is a day or two past its “use by” date.
I can testify to this. I once opened a jar of seven-year-old salad dressing that had been hiding in the back of my pantry, and went through the whole thing over the course of maybe two months. The dressing tasted perfectly fine and I suffered no ill consequences.
In case you’re wondering why I would even take such a chance, it was the very last bottle of Seven Seas Creamy Italian—a family favorite that had long since been discontinued when Kraft bought Seven Seas. That flavor was so popular, a Facebook group called A Petition to KRAFT – Bring Back Seven Seas Creamy Italian Dressing! was created years ago. It’s got 1,400 members and is still active. It’s basically a bunch of people begging Kraft to bring the dressing back. I wish them well, but the page has been around at least 10 years and you still can’t find Seven Seas Creamy Italian Dressing anywhere, so I fear it’s a lost cause.
You know what? If I stumbled upon another bottle of Seven Seas Creamy Italian dressing tomorrow, I’d still use it.
Tara is two weeks into her new job and loving it.
This freaks me out, because in the 12 years we have been together, she has never loved a job. She’s barely tolerated most, to be honest. I’d ask her how her day was, she’d reply, “Fine,” and that would be the end of that. I learned to stop asking.
But now, she gushes about how great her day was. How awesome her coworkers are. How amazing the company is. It’s like I don’t even know this person.
One of the biggest advantages is that the position is hybrid. Once she completes a 90-day training and probationary period, she’ll be able to work from home three days a week, just like me. Tara has never had a job that allowed that before, so it’s a novelty to her. She’s already counting down the days.
Because we’ll both be working from home three days a week, and some of those days will overlap, we realized we’d need a second office. Initially, we figured we’d convert a corner of the guest room into office space. Not an ideal solution considering a queen bed takes up half the space and that doesn’t exactly scream professional (though I’d have loved it and respected her so damn much if she’d had the guts to attend a virtual meeting in bed), but it made the most sense. It’s not like we have many overnight guests, and we figured when there are visitors, Tara could just work from the kitchen table or go into the physical office on those days.
But then I remembered our walkout basement.
There’s a little alcove down there that I thought would make a great space for a desk. It’s dim but not dark (just how I like it). Cooler than upstairs (also how I like it). The slider offers great views of the backyard, I can stoke a blazing fire in the woodstove during the winter, and instead of one lava lamp, I could have many lava lamps. I warmed up to this idea so quickly, we made a trip to IKEA last weekend to buy another desk like the one we have upstairs. As far as IKEA furniture goes, this desk is surprisingly sturdy, and even a little elegant.
Once I get an idea stuck in my head, I run with it. So, even though Tara won’t be WFH until the end of October, my basement office is all set up and I’m working down there now.
Laverne and Shirley are my constant companions (another plus, since they rarely ventured into the office upstairs). They park themselves in front of the slider and watch the world go by.
Truth is, I do, too. I’m amazed by just how many creatures wander by throughout the day. Chipmunks and squirrels. Wild turkey and deer. And, one day last week, this fella.
It appears that Rivergirl’s woodchucks are contagious. (Too bad the barn she and her husband converted into a bar and game room is not. Dare to dream.)
I didn’t know much about woodchucks before, but when you see an unfamiliar creature wandering your property, it’s in your best interest to learn all you can about said creature. I learned, for example, that woodchucks and groundhogs are the exact same animal. The names are used interchangeably, with woodchuck being more common in Europe and groundhog favored here in the U.S.
I guess that explains why the classic Bill Murray comedy isn’t called Woodchuck Day.
If I were Punxsutawney Phil, I’d lobby for a February 2 name change. I think woodchuck sounds more sophisticated than groundhog. Plus, nobody ever wonders how much wood a groundhog hogs if a groundhog could hog wood. Besides, when Dick dropped by to talk about the property, he mentioned woodchucks. I’m a-gonna stick with that then!
Do you pay attention to expiration dates? Ever use items past their use-by dates? Am I crazy for eating seven-year-old salad dressing? Do you prefer ‘woodchuck’ or ‘groundhog’?
Mark My Words 
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