I can’t believe we’re in the midst of the dog days of summer already. I just learned the other day that the phrase refers to Sirius, the Dog Star.

In the summer, Sirius rises and sets with the sun. On July 23rd, it’s perfectly in conjunction with the sun and at its brightest. The ancient Romans, when they weren’t building colosseums and using urine as mouthwash, believed it actually gave off heat and was responsible for the long stretch of sultry weather this time of year, so they named the 20 days before and after this alignment diēs caniculārēs (“dog days”). Ergo, July 3 to August 11.

I’ve always taken issue with constellations. Other than the Big Dipper, which actually looks like a big dipper, I just don’t see any of these other shapes. Saying this random grouping of stars resembles a dog seems like a huge stretch to me. It’s all so subjective, like when people gaze at clouds and see animals or clowns or whatever. I could connect those dots in different ways and come up with a tea kettle or a mermaid or a Hyundai, I’m sure.

Speaking of Hyundais, we finally bought some kayak racks that would fit atop the Kona. Previously, we’d been transporting them in Tara’s truck, but because her bed isn’t long enough they were sticking up over the cab and held in place with ratchet straps. It was crude but effective, and also, a pain in the ass to load and unload. The new system is better.

Our purchase was timely, as yesterday we embarked upon our first-ever river kayaking excursion. A couple of months ago, our neighbor Brian told us about an upcoming group paddle on the Bark River sponsored by the Fort Atkinson Parks & Recreation department. We signed up, figuring the $10 fee for shuttle transportation and a guided tour over an unfamiliar body of water would be worth the price.

It was. There were 30 paddlers total, and we put into the Bark River shortly after 10 a.m. Saturday.

For the next almost-three hours we paddled down the Bark River, meandering through woods and pastures, eventually joining up with the Rock River, which flows through downtown Fort. The weather was absolutely perfect and the scenery, idyllic. The river was really low because of the drought, so there were a few tricky spots where we had to navigate around and under fallen trees, but all in all it was a peaceful excursion. Except for Annoying Guy Drinking Beer.

That’s the problem with social groups. There is always an Annoying Guy Drinking Beer. The beer is sometimes real, sometimes metaphorical, but the Guy is always Annoying. In this case, he was a loud and obnoxious thinks-he-knows-it-all who played music over his phone and constantly belittled his wife. Like, he was calling a paddle board everything but a paddle board. He referred to it as a stand-up kayak and then a longboard.

“Isn’t a longboard a surfboard?” his wife asked.

He kept insisting it was not, but guess what? It is. Dumbass. Fortunately, the group was pretty spread out, so it was easy enough to keep our distance.

All in all, we had a lot of fun, but we were happy to disembark in the early afternoon. Three hours of nonstop paddling is a lot, and our arms were feeling it. With a group, you can’t take your time or pull over. We’ll definitely do it again, but now that we know the route and have two vehicles that can carry kayaks, we’ll just do it by ourselves next time.

Afterward we came home, showered, and went downtown for a few hours of bar hopping. We felt we’d earned that treat.

Picked up sandwiches from the never-disappoints Good2Go, came home, put on one of our favorite movies ever (Singles), and had a chill evening.

The dog days of summer are probably my least favorite time of year, but at least the coming week isn’t looking too hot or humid, our air quality has been fine, and we have multiple chances for showers and thunderstorms.

Fingers crossed!


64 responses to “I can’t read what’s written in the stars.”

  1. Ah, THAT guy. The expert on everything. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But he only THINKS he’s an expert on everything. That’s the worst part!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kayaking sounds delightful except for the Annoying Guy and you are so right–there is always the Annoying Guy. (Luckily, you spotted him and now you can rest assured it isn’t you!) I dunno why people feel compelled to talk while hiking or kayaking; I’m usually there to enjoy the peaceful, natural surroundings and possibly spot wildlife. And it’s not like you can whisper to each other while paddling multiple feet apart. Really frustrating that some folks are so entitled and incapable of noticing their impact on others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hate it when I’m hiking through the woods and come across someone playing music on their phone. That hasn’t happened out here, but it was a fairly common occurrence in the PNW. At least have the courtesy to wear headphones!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right? On my early morning walks there is one dude listening to Chinese Opera and I want to throw headphones at him. It’s not even 7 AM, dude!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. This sounds like the quintessential L.A. moment.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have never seen Singles . . . so I just added it to my TBW queue.

    Group gatherings are better/best when you can spread out and keep your distance from “you know who.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’re so obsessed, we stopped by the actual apartment building in Seattle where they filmed exterior (and some interior) scenes. Just a great, great movie, but very much a snapshot of 1992. Which isn’t a bad thing!

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  4. Glad you had a good trip and learned the route. I’m not a group joining person. I want an Annoying Guy free experience and prefer to go at my own pace. It’s for these reasons you’ll never find me on a cruise or tour bus. My dream transportation? Private jet… because Annoying Guy always sits next to me when flying.
    🥴

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We had a little bit of rain the night before, and I was secretly hoping they’d cancel the paddle due to the weather…but it cleared up just in time. Suffice it to say, I’m not a group person either (though I am glad we ended up going).

      Liked by 1 person

  5. That “guy” is often encountered in tour groups but also on airplanes (and airports) and definitely anywhere there is actual beer. It does sound like a delightful trip otherwise. I always look at those sorts of people as blog fodder! They give us something humorous to write about. I always thought a longboard was a skateboard. Am I wrong? (again)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A longboard is both a skateboard AND a surfboard. The original surfboards were actually called longboards.

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  6. thanks, I never knew the origin story of that phrase. love the kayaking, and you’re right about one in every group. I’m about to meet up with a group in Costa Rica to travel. so we’ll see. how that goes )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guarantee you’ll have one of those guys in your group. But you’ll also have Costa Rica, so…worth it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right and some good stories!

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  7. I’m with you on the constellations. Big Dipper and Little Dipper, I get. The others, no way. I always got the impression it was some drunk guy who looked up and said, let’s call that on Leo the Lion. Ha ha, anyway, beautiful shots!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey — I was thinking the same thing, Brian! LOL! I don’t “see” any of the other constellations either, but the hubs and his pal Steve are big ‘star gazers’. Sigh. I think I’d rather gossip about “Annoying Guy Drinking Beer” any day. Thanks for taking us along for all of it, Mark! 😎

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I once signed up for Intro to Astronomy in college. And dropped out the very next day. I wanted to look at stars, they wanted to teach complicated mathematics. Pass.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL – math! Imagine that! Wynne would’ve saved you had she been in class with you, you know…🤣

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    2. I actually almost added something about the ancient Romans being drunk on moonshine or something, ha.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Well well look who’s yearning for snow. 😛

    Well you guys were out on your kayaks I was out on my bike. We’re on our second day of beautiful weather without humidity so I’m good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m surprised it took me this long to yearn for snow!

      The lack of humidity was a godsend. It would have been a very uncomfortable paddle if it were humid.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. That kayak trip looks great, despite the annoying guy. I always feel so sorry for the suffering spouse (“spouse” because sometimes the annoying guy is a gal). If they are like that in public, I bet they are 10x worse in private. Can you imagine living with that?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel bad for her, too. At the same time, you have to wonder why she chose to marry the guy in the first place. He must have been like that when they were dating; you don’t suddenly turn annoying overnight!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Speaking from experience sometimes the normal spouse chooses to overlook annoying (or whatever the guy exhibits) until one day normal spouse wakes up and moves on 😉

        Liked by 2 people

  10. I love the calm river on a sunny day, but yes- without the group activity I think. I’m not sure I could have extricated myself from the kayak after sitting for 3 hours without a break to move my legs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Forgot to mention I’m still in the kayak writing this blog post because I couldn’t get out, either.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL! Snort laugh 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I never knew where Dog Days came from! I agree about constellations. I’d love to get into astronomy, but even the apps are useless to me. Or I’m the useless one!

    I’d have appreciated the low water level. I’ve only kayaked on the Pacific Ocean and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Cool, but terrifying. Annoying Beer Guy . . . We have all been there. It’s incredible that they think they are funny when no one’s laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ocean kayaking scares me, too. It’s bad enough dealing with wakes from passing boats when you’re on a lake. The idea that a random wave could tip me over, and then I might end up in the jaws of a shark? I’ll just stick to dry land, thank you.

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  12. You watched Singles!!!!!! That movie came up a lot on my recent trip. Hubby has never seen it. I so need to educate as well as indoctrinate that man.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is an oversight of gargantuan proportions!

      “We had good times and we had bad times, but we had times.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! I should have asked him if he’s seen the movie before agreeing to marry him. Shaking my head. I’ll remedy this STAT!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. When you do, you’ll have to take another trip to Seattle. Besides, you haven’t done a true grunge pilgrimage until you’ve driven through Aberdeen, past KC’s childhood home, and visited the Young Street Bridge (inspiration for “Something in the Way”).

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ah MAN, Mark! You’re killing me! I wonder how long of a drive Aberdeen is from Wynne’s. Actually, she did tell me. It wasn’t close. She went there not too long ago, though, made her friend stop, and took and texted pictures for me. That was super sweet of her. So at least I got that. The bridge though… The bridge would’ve been awesome.

        I did also see the hotel he frequented when he “wanted to be anonymous,” as Wynne put it. I saw that in my research too. It was only a couple miles from Wynne’s! (Yes, I got pics of it.)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah, Aberdeen is a haul from Seattle. Portland, too. Makes sense if you continue on to the coast and stay overnight in Ocean Shores. Someplace nice. Just not Aberdeen. Aberdeen is a dump.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Noted! Thanks, “M.”

        Liked by 1 person

  13. You even turn Dog Days into Good Days.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s pretty much my mission in life!

      Like

  14. Sounds like a GLORIOUS adventure, except for THAT GUY.

    Also, I might be crying inside over the GREAT prices at Good2Go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’ll be crying for real if you get a peek at our gas prices.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. First…can’t get past the mouthwash comment….secondly….I hate that metaphorical guy because he shows up everywhere and you want to slap him

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Living in ancient Rome would have been a real pisser!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Did you see Top chef is going to film next season in Wisconsin? You have to get to ne of the tastings!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wait, what? Seriously??

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes! They announced Kristen Kish is replacing Padma and Wisconsin is it!!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thanks for the heads up! I found the links online. We’re huge fans, and in fact, are currently halfway through the Houston season (we were busy moving and whatnot).

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Love the show and will dish anytime you want about it though obviously I know the winners… you must stalk them!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I can’t wait to see their cheese curd challenge!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. All the cheese challenges….

        Liked by 1 person

  16. My favorite Annoying Guy story is also one who tried to Mansplain my own job to me. I have been fixing glasses for 6 years now, and couldn’t fix his glasses. To which he said….”Let me try.” I let him go to town and guess what? He couldn’t fix them either. I sent him off and chuckled for the rest of the day. So take THAT Annoying Mansplaining Guy!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mansplaining just ups the Annoying ante to a whole new level!

      Like

  17. Every time I read your blog, I feel a little smarter.

    I feel like we all know THAT guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This might just be one of the best comments I’ve ever received. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Yup, there’s always that guy 🙄 Sigh. Glad he didn’t completely ruin the outing for you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If anything, he encouraged us to paddle faster so we could get away from his Annoying Ass!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Ah yes, Annoying Beer-Drinking Guy – the biggest deterrent of traveling via group tours. We did it in SE Asia (he was there) and if we ever go to Central Asia, it might have to be via group tour (he’ll be there as well).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just can’t escape the dude, can you? He’s an international sensation.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I hope you guys get some good rain soon!
    The kayaking group sounds fun, but there’s always one or two asshats that can annoy you enough to avoid group outings.
    Yay for the nice rack! You know what I mean…

    Like

  21. We kayaked with a group from St. Mary’s, Georgia to Cumberland Island and back. (About 12 miles round trip.) We didn’t have an Annoying Guy Drinking Beer. We had… I don’t even know what to call her. The kayaks had a small rudder controlled by foot pedals and there was one woman in the group who never got the hang of them. She was forever cutting everyone off with cries of “Oopsie!”, “Sorry!”, “Coming through!” It was an exhausting trip and by the time we were a mile from the dock on the return trip, I was struggling not to bash her with my paddle if she cut me off again.

    Like

  22. […] kayaking. Last year, we did a group kayak trip down the Bark River – which was fun except for the Annoying Guy Drinking Beer. This time was much better ’cause it was just the two of […]

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