First things first:
That was Tara’s sister commenting on Facebook after reading how mortified she is whenever I swipe a glass. It turns out Little Miss Innocent ain’t so innocent after all! Thank you for that, Jessie. I was wondering where those cool plastic Chili’s shakers came from!
I also apologize to my mom and to any small business owners whose livelihood depends on well-stocked drinkware. FWIW, most times I do just buy the glass. Like when we celebrated my birthday at Ishnala Supper Club in April. I hit up the gift shop afterward and gladly handed over $8 for a souvenir glass. And I never take anything expensive. I did “accidentally” have an ashtray from Spago follow me home once, but I’m pretty sure Wolfgang Puck can afford that.
Honestly, my most thrilling escapade involved snatching a tater tot from an unsuspecting diner’s plate while walking past a restaurant’s patio seating area one time. Probably worth a quarter, if that. Bravest thing I ever did. Probably the stupidest, too, because they could have killed me. Luckily they were too astonished to give chase. For the record, I did say, “Thank you.”
Anyway. I’m not making excuses for my misdeeds. I will gladly own them (and it will happen again, mark my words). I just wanted to add that I probably overstated how often this happens.
Have you ever heard of juneberries? Chances are, unless you’re Canadian – where they’re much more abundant and available for sale commercially (our neighbors to the north call them “saskatoons”) – you have not. Tara and I were unfamiliar with them until yesterday, but we were out wandering the property and noticed this tree with prolific clusters of dark purple berries hanging from the branches. It was one of the few Dick made no mention of.
They resemble blueberries, but like money, those don’t grow on trees. Curious, I snapped some photos and fed them into my PlantNet app. It turns out they’re juneberries (also known as serviceberries), a member of the rose family that is native to the Upper Midwest and northern prairie regions of Canada. After confirming they were edible, I popped one in my mouth.
Holy cow. Some people compare the flavor to a cross between a blueberry and an apple; others say they’re reminiscent of dark cherries or raisins. All I know is, they’re delicious. Like a sweeter, richer blueberry. They are very high in iron; one serving provides 23% of the RDA – twice as much as blueberries. They’re also a great source of calcium, fiber, protein, potassium, magnesium, and phosphorous. Juneberries have about as much vitamin C, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, vitamin B-6, folate, vitamin A, and vitamin E as blueberries.
Blueberries are probably the most famous superfood. I guess that makes juneberries a super-superfood. It’s a wonder they aren’t commercially cultivated in the U.S., because you could make a killing.
Hmm…
Tara was so enamored, she dragged the ladder out of the garage and spent three hours harvesting as many as she could reach.
“We should make juneberry muffins!” I declared excitedly. My wife had other ideas, and whipped herself up a vodka and juneberry smash cocktail. Genius move. It was so good, I followed suit. We had a great time playing cribbage, listening to records, and enjoying a pleasant juneberry buzz.
Later, we wandered around the yard, watching the fireflies. We caught a few in our hands, let them flash furiously for a few seconds, and then releasing them. Tara was just as giddy as me, and even used the same word (“magical”) to describe the experience.
Helluva Saturday night.
This morning, we took a walk through a new nature trail I discovered yesterday. It’s used as an outdoor education center for Fort Atkinson School District students, and I get the appeal.
Round-trip from our house and back was a little under four miles. When we came home, we enjoyed coffee, waffles, and bacon. Topped with fresh strawberries and, of course, juneberries.
I’m telling you guys, these are a game-changer. We have a freezer full now and will have all kinds of fun figuring out what to make with them.
Never mind the fact that we have actual blueberries coming in soon. And raspberries and black currants and apples. And, best of all…
Peaches!
It’s comforting to know that, in the event of an apocalyptical food chain collapse, we can eat our way through our own backyard.
Have you ever heard of or eaten a juneberry before? Got any recipes you’d recommend? What’s your favorite fruit? If someone grabbed a tater tot from your plate, smiled, and walked away, how would you react?
Mark My Words 
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