When most people think of South Dakota, I’d venture to guess they picture lots of cows and cornfields. Which isn’t exactly inaccurate. But did you know we rank as the #2 honey-producing state in the U.S.?
That fact doesn’t receive nearly as much buzz.
‘Tis true, though. And explains why the honeybee is our official state insect. Only North Dakota—a/k/a, the inferior Dakota—produces more honey than we do.
That kinda stings.
We happen to have the optimal combination of soil, topography, and climate that allows bees to thrive. Not to mention vast tracts of uncultivated land. In fact, the Dakotas are known as “America’s last bee refuge.”
I point all this out because I have been immersed in all things bees for two straight days. I’ve developed a sort of one-man hive mentality, if you will, while working on an article for CenturyCo.
While I learned all sorts of fascinating tidbits about the state’s honey industry, the one thing I couldn’t find was a beekeeper to chat up. The secret to brand journalism is to personalize your articles with a quote or two. There are plenty of apiaries (a fancy name for a collection of beehives) around the state, as one might expect based on our rallying cry (“We’re #2!”), but CenturyCo’s brand standards dictate we quote people who are members of our cooperative and live in our service territory. I scoured directories for hours, poring over listings from A to Bee, but kept coming up short.
That’s when inspiration struck. There might not be any honey producers that fit our strict criteria, but maybe the people who owned the companies were customers. So, on a hunch, I pulled up an online business profile in Hot Springs, one of the communities we serve in the southern Black Hills. Skipped past the legalese, found the name of the owner, punched that into our member database, and voila! Pay dirt, baby.
If internet sleuthing were an Olympic sport, I’d have earned a gold medal today.
I called him, we chatted, I got some great information. Thanked him profusely for his help. And then, at the end of the conversation, he said, “Please don’t use my name in your article.”
Head, meet desk.
Actually, that wasn’t too big of a deal. I wanted to give him a nifty alias—I was thinking of calling him Johnny Bee Goode—but my boss said I could just refer to him as “a Fall River County honey producer” and leave it at that. Which felt like a missed opportunity to me, but hey, I got what I needed and published the story before the deadline, thereby avoiding a sticky predicament.
I’m pretty proud of this story. I feel like I did a decent job making it both entertaining and informative. I included facts about the economics of the honey industry ($30 million annual revenue in South Dakota); the history of honey, from 8,000-year-old cave paintings in Spain to its reverence by ancient Egyptians; its nutritious benefits and designation as a superfood; its many medicinal benefits, from preventing heart attacks and strokes to healing wounds and suppressing coughs; and the plight of the honeybee, including steps we all can take to help save bees from extinction.
I was a good worker and even managed to sweeten the article with plenty of puns.
But I won’t drone on about this any more…
Mark My Words 
Explanation needed for the owners anonymity. Was he spilling state bee secrets? Or was he fearing bee retribution? I’ve heard they can hold one hell of a grudge.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want to know this too… 🐝
LikeLiked by 2 people
He said he didn’t want people calling him. They’re a small operation and he’s got enough work to keep him busy already.
Busy as a bee, one might say…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are these South Dakota owners of some of the mobile beekeepers that bring semis of hives to California to pollinate crops?
Not to bee-labor the point, but I am feeling a little bee-leagued by all these puns.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Actually, yes…I bee-lieve some of our bees are actually making their way to California. Which, by the way, ranks #3 in honey production.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, we’d be #1 if it weren’t for all those migrant bees from the Dakotas stealing’ our pollen?
LikeLiked by 1 person
About halfway through I was groaning, and it kept getting worse! All the way to the end! Though this was a painful read, well done. 🙂
Missed opportunity on that alias, indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Groaning because your stomach hurt so badly from the constant laughter?
LikeLike
Yesterday at the store I saw a doormat with a hive hanging from a branch and several bees flying around it. It said, “Honey, I’m home.” Immediately thought of this post.
LikeLike
I had no idea. Not sure where I thought honey making took place. Fun fact: after I started blogging, I learned there were folks who hate honey and think of it as bee vomit! Still cracks me up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve hard that, too! To be fair, honey is the product of regurgitated pollen, but we eat things a lot worse than that if you think about it.
LikeLike
I wanted to reply with a bee-themed pun, but you’ve taken them all, damn you!
Sorry, that was a bit waspish.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh, pivoting to new insects for the joke. That should bug me, but I think it flies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Damn. You’re good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am a big fan of honey, Mark. In New Zealand I learned about the benefits of Manuka honey and we would add it to our tea while we were there. A witty and interesting article. Yes, entertaining and informative! I will try not to groan when you “…drone on…”😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I kept coming across references to Manuka honey when researching my article. Apparently, that stuff is the bee’s knees!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m buzzing with delight having found this blog post, albeit a few days after it was published, but whatever. I do wish that Feedly, my preferred blog reader hive, would get like a busy bee and collect your posts on a timely-er basis. Do I sound waspish? Still it’s sweet as honey reading whatever your write here, when I can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
With such a strong arsenal of puns, you should change your blog name to Ally Bee-n!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Uh huh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so punny today. Are you buzzed?
I especially loved this post because it’s about one of my favorite things: BEES!
I had NO idea that South Dakota was a’buzz with all that honey. But c’mon #2? Someone needs to WORK harder.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You really know your A BEE Cs, don’tcha?
LikeLike