Spoiler alert: this blog post contains a spoiler that I must alert you to.
If you are a fan of America’s Got Talent and have not yet watched the 2020 season finale, please stop reading.
STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE/TABLET/COMPUTER. I IMPLORE YOU.
Like, right now.
Seriously. Because I’m about to give away the ending and would hate to incur your wrath. I’ve been the victim of a spoiler before, and I know all too well the bitter sting of finding out the outcome to something you’ve been enjoying ahead of time. It’s like skipping ahead to the last page of a book, or learning that Rosebud was the name of Charles Foster Kane’s sled before queuing up the 1941 classic, Citizen Kane.
Shit. I hope you’ve all seen Citizen Kane…
On a side note, you know what my biggest dick move in high school was? I once tore out the last page of a book a classmate was reading when she stepped away from her desk. What an asshole I was, huh? I still feel badly about that.
Anyway. AGT. We’d fallen behind on watching it, thanks to houseguests and other commitments. The final two episodes were saved to our DVR, and we decided to watch them last night.
“I’ve been going out of my way to avoid any spoilers online,” I told Tara as I pressed PLAY. “Let’s watch these before we go away for the weekend, because I don’t trust my ability to keep avoiding them.”
Turns out it wasn’t my ability I needed to worry about. It was my wife’s.
We were about two minutes into the first episode when Tara exclaimed, “Oh, shit.” I glanced over to the couch, saw her scrolling through her phone, and knew immediately what had happened.
“You saw the winner, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yep,” she admitted sheepishly. Given the circumstances, sheepishness was the only acceptable delivery of said response.
OK, I thought. Disappointing, but not the end of the world. I didn’t know who won, so no harm, no foul.
A few minutes later, Tara struck again. “They didn’t have to list the person’s name right there in the headline!” she said defensively.
Now, I’m smart enough to know that “person” indicates an individual. One person, not a group. Which immediately eliminated all the remaining dance teams and duos from consideration, of which there were quite a few.
“Oh, shit,” she said, as I glared at her.
This was annoying, but at least I didn’t know if the person who won was male or female.
You know where this is going, right…?
Fast-forward another 10 minutes. We’re still only halfway through the first episode. I guess I’m partially to blame for this one, because while skipping through the commercials, I asked Tara, “How did you see the winner, anyway?”
“I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post with his name,” she replied.
His name.
HIS name.
HIS name.
%@#*&!
There were three solo male acts left, which made watching the majority of the performances far less enjoyable than they would otherwise have been. The Indian duet Bad Salsa’s performance was killer, but dammit, I knew it wasn’t killer enough. The Bello Sisters displayed incredible acrobatic feats, but dammit, I knew they weren’t incredible enough. 14 y/o Daneliya Tuleshova nailed the high notes, but dammit, I knew she didn’t nail them hard enough.
I knew the winner once Alan Silva was escorted offstage, leaving four acts: two female singers, a singing duo, and a lone male contestant, spoken word artist Brandon Leake.
Lack of suspense aside, I’m very happy that Brandon won! Being a word guy myself, it was exciting to see such a unique art form honored with a $1 million prize and a Vegas act. The dude is mad talented. I’d pay to see him perform.
In fact, last winter I was invited to an Oral Interpretation competition at a local high school for an interview with one of the coaches and blown away by the students. I admire anybody who can stand up in front of a crowd and bare their soul like that.
Have you ever been the victim of a spoiler?
If so, was it Tara who did the spoiling?! ‘Cause I really don’t trust her anymore…
Mark My Words 
Mark, I don’t watch AGT but just from your own excitement, I am SO HAPPY that Brandon won! And a $1 million prize and a Vegas act!?!? That’s freaking AMAZING!
“I once tore out the last page of a book a classmate was reading when she stepped away from her desk. What an asshole I was, huh? I still feel badly about that.”
OMG, how evil you were. You VERY mean man! However, that’s something I would do too. Bwhahahahahahahaha!
Wishing you and Tara a faaaaaabulous getaway weekend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, Brandon was an excellent choice. Nice to have somebody win who isn’t a singer or magician for a change!
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who might have acted evilly in high school. Solidarity, brother!
LikeLike
You should have asked her to leave the room, or preferably the house, as soon as she knew the winner. Spilling it piece by piece like that is worse than all at once. I don’t watch that show but I used to scream at American Idol back in the day so I feel your pain. As for spoilers, a friend told me a few Game of Thrones plot twists ahead of time and it made me want to drop rat poison in her coffee.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha…yes. I should have set her up in the backyard or something. I think the weather was nice enough that evening, too!
I do not watch GOT so any spoilers would go right over my head.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You vandalized a BOOK?! Damn.
Still,I doubt any of us want to be judged by our actions in high school. Or middle school.
I think I’m used to spoilers. Comes from growing up in a giant family with older siblings. They wrecked everything from Star Wars to Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan saga. Then, once you get to film school and screenwriting, you’re basically trained in the art of plant and payoff, and so you almost always figure out the ending of every dramatic TV show or movie early on. If there’s a well-planted twist that I miss, I’m always awed.
But I won’t tell you which shows have them. Promise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh…your film school/screenwriting classes sound interesting. I’d love to hear more about how you’re trained to spot plot twists…if you ever run out of blog material, there ya go!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You only want me to teach you so you can have revenge on Tara. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Serves ya right after ripping out that girl’s final page, don’t ya think? 😉 #karma
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. Totally. I am ashamed of that stunt today, peer pressure or not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think we all probably have a few stunts from our youth we wish we could take back/undo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like spoilers. I like knowing the endings before I begin. Tara and would get along just fine. But I understand your situation and am sorry for your dismay.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gasp! You like spoilers? How is that possible? Are you not a fan of suspense?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I don’t like suspense. Prefer knowing what is coming. When possible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was a pretty funny breakdown. I mean, breaking down how it got spoiled, not that you had a physical or emotional breakdown, at least, not one you shared with us. I’ll ask Tara.
I think I was in high school when I read The Pearl. My mom said to me, “The baby dies.” I was SO mad at her. We still joke about it. Why she told me, I’ll never know. She just laughs about it, seemingly unperturbed that she spoiled that part. Perhaps she thought it was kind to warn me. I don’t know. She never gave a rightful account of herself. Please tell me I didn’t spoil THAT for you. But, come on, if you haven’t read The Pearl by now, you likely never will. And especially not NOW!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Umm, I have never even heard of “The Pearl” so your spoiler is safe with me!
LikeLike
My daughter loves AGT. I’m more of a Big Brother person, but it’s hard to avoid spoilers these days with that show because so many people watch the live feeds and then comment on Reddit.
LikeLiked by 1 person