One Thing Worse Than Lying

I walked into the bathroom at work this morning and it smelled like delicious breakfast food. I should add that our office shares a wall with a coffee shop/bakery that specializes in waffles and other tasty treats, so that isn’t nearly as weird as it sounds.

Also, being attached to a coffee shop is a very nice perk. Pun intended.

Often when they start gearing up for lunch, our lobby smells like onions and garlic. Some of my coworkers stew over this (I’m nailin’ these today!), but it doesn’t bother me. I find the smell of cooking food oddly comforting. Tara likes scented candles that smell like fresh linen. If such a thing existed, I’d buy candles that smelled like garlic bread or Italian sausage. In fact, I’ve contemplated bringing a crockpot to work, plugging it in at my desk, and slow-cooking a chicken cacciatore while banging out words. Who says you can only cook in the office when there’s a potluck?!

This might be my favorite-ever Ron Swanson quote.

It’s the only kind of “milk” my parents drink. Tara buys whole milk. You can imagine the battles that ensue whenever they come to visit.

Just kidding. There are no battles. Only because we stock the fridge with a carton of skim milk before they arrive. If we didn’t, it would be all-out war. My mom would be clawing at my eyes and I’d be yanking her hair in self-defense while simultaneously trying to trip my dad. And that’s not cool, man, because they birthed me and whatnot.

I find skim milk tasteless and pointless. I rarely drink milk anyway, and when I do, it’s maybe half a cup whose sole purpose is to act as a body of liquid upon which my cereal can float. What little bit there is might as well taste good!

Oh, and Oreos. Another rare treat, but come on. I wouldn’t dream of eating those without milk. I am no heathen, people!!

It didn’t rain so much as a single drop the whole seven days my parents were here. Within one hour of their departure, the heavens opened up and inundated us with thunderstorms and torrential rain. I believe it was what the old-timers call “a gully washer.”

No complaints here. We’re technically in a drought and every little bit helps.

With the sun rising a little bit later every day, it’s that time of year when my morning walks coincide perfectly with the sunrise. This morning’s was especially colorful; here it was, lighting up the clouds over the ridge in our neighborhood. Much like Trump’s mouth, there’s no filter, folks.

This is what it looked like reflected in our living room window.

As if all that weren’t spectacular enough, there was a rainbow, too. Felt like I hit the jackpot just by walking out the front door at 5:35 this morning.

Of course, this means in a few weeks, I’ll be walking in the dark again. But I’ll have cereal with real milk waiting for me when I get home, so it’s all good in this ‘hood.

35 thoughts on “One Thing Worse Than Lying

  1. It’s going to take generations to get past the fat free/low fat mentality the 80s bred into us.

    We too use whole milk, for the few times anyone drinks it. It’s for cereal the few times anyone eats that, and cookies. 🙂

    I actually like liquid whip cream in my coffee. Or table cream which is like 18% fat. And only whole yogurt will do. Not in my coffee; for eating. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YASSS!! You get it. 🙂

      The ’80s scared everybody senseless. A lot of people still believe fat is evil. What they really need to concern themselves over is sugar.

      Whole yogurt for me, too (though it’s gotta be Greek).


  2. I was raised on 2%. When I tried whole for the first time, I never went back.

    Well. Okay. I have. But only if it’s because we ran out of whole milk and I need something to go in the coffee…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My favorite R.S. quote is the one from the episode we watched last night: “Because people are idiots” after Leslie asked why people didn’t eat breakfast foods for every meal. Also the one, also last night, about teaching a man to fish or don’t and feed yourself. “Fishing’s not that hard.”
    Wonderful sunrise pics. I wish I were the type of person who went for morning walks and got to see the sunrise, but alas, not so much.
    Appreciated the puns!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you’re watching “Parks & Rec”! I also have quite the list of favorite Tom Haverford slang (“I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blasterz with a ‘z,'” etc.)


  4. Mark, I know what you mean about the smell of a bakery because when I was a kid, my family lived close to the Nabisco factory and we could smell the cookies and cakes being baked!

    I love the smell of real food, however oddly enough, I don’t care for the smell of food-scented candles. I’m more like Tara, I like fresh linen candles or candles that smell like essential oils, such as, eucalyptus.

    I don’t understand people who put skim milk in their coffee? I mean why bother? It like putting white water into your coffee. I usually drink my coffee black.

    Faaaaaaaaaabulous photos!

    Have a terrific weekend, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You lived next to an actual Nabisco factory?! That’s awesome!

      When we lived in Honolulu, we used to drive past the Dole Pineapple plant all the time. You could smell that two miles away on the freeway. For the record, pineapple is a much more pleasurable scent than car exhaust.


  5. “No filter” so you know where you stand with Trump and with the restaurant next door, oh and the rainbow. At least, you can use the extra time to read and forget about what they really mean as you figured them all out!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. True fact–long before they started pasteurizing milk (back in the colonial days), people would let milk sit after they milked their cow to allow the cream to come to the surface. They would then scoop up the cream and use it for food, making butter, cheese, etc. The liquid-y substance that was leftover, they considered waste and threw it to the pigs.

    I’m getting my facts from a discovery channel episode several years ago, so don’t quote me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lovely sky/reflections 🙂
    I am a whole milk person. Organic at that.
    My husband forbids the purchase of dessert-smell candles as it’s painful for him to smell the concoctions without being able to eat the treat!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Um, why aren’t you drinking nut milks like the rest of us?

    That photo of your ‘picture window’ ( that’s what my parents called ours) is fabulous!

    Liked by 1 person

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