I was watching The Walking Dead last night and made an interesting observation. Not sure if I ever noticed it before, but for some reason there are no bright colors in the zombie apocalypse. Everybody is cloaked in gray. This lends an eerie ambiance to the show, but a one-dimensional wardrobe is not very realistic. I mean, eventually you would run across a walker sporting a Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt. Right? Or any of the following…
- An “I’m With Stupid —>” tee
- A “My Parents Went to Cabo San Lucas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” t-shirt
- An ugly Christmas sweater
- A wife beater
- A Russell Wilson jersey
- A bathrobe
- A powder blue tuxedo
Scratch that last one. It’s not like the zombie apocalypse happened in the 70s. But you get my point. I’d think instead of a sea of gray, the undead-littered horizon would resemble a technicolor blanket. What do I know, though? My only experience with things coming back from the dead has been Arrested Development, and that left much to be desired.
The same applies to the undead ladies, of course. Just once I’d love to see a “walker” that looked like this…
‘Cause I’m all about equal opportunity.
My newest team member starts today. I christened her Tamale Girl because, during her interview, she mentioned that her husband makes excellent tamales. I don’t know if this was a subtle way of ingratiating herself into my Mexican food loving-heart, but it worked. It came down to her and another guy, and he was a Denver Broncos fan like me. Talk about a toss-up. Corn husks FTW!
(And writing samples. Hers was slightly better.)
Speaking of my Broncos, I feel pretty badly for Peyton Manning these days. The guy had a great run, but he is clearly in the twilight of his career. Maybe he’ll come back this season and get the storybook ending he deserves. If not, well…I’m a big fan of our new quarterback, Brock Osweiler. Real excited to see what he can do for the team. He’s off to a good start, anyway.
Brock’s a great name, by the way. But talk about destiny: when his parents named him, he pretty much had to become an NFL quarterback. Right? It’s such a football name. You don’t see very many accountants named Brock. Or veterinarians or poets laureate. I was telling this to a coworker named Blake, and realized that he is in the wrong line of business. Blakes are also typically quarterbacks. Or country singers. What our Blake is doing designing ads for a living is beyond me.
There are other names like that. Micks are musicians. Mildreds are spinstresses. And people named Waldo are forever getting lost in the crowd. (He might be easy to spot – for once – in a zombie horde, what with his bright red-and-white striped shirt.)
Happy Thanksgiving in advance!
Mark My Words 
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