I realized the other day that I’ll have some serious explaining to do if my laptop is ever confiscated. Take my recent Google search for teenage boys in dresses. That one would probably raise a few eyebrows, though – of course – it’s completely innocent. I was searching for a suitable image of Rusty’s homecoming outfit. A few of you thought that was an actual picture of him on my last post. Hate to burst your bubble, but I was merely trying to be funny. Rusty never even went to his homecoming dance.
Besides, if he had, he would have chosen something in a lacy chiffon instead.
Years ago, when I was writing my novel, I had similar concerns. I was Googling things like how do shoulder-fired rocket launchers work and how much dynamite would it take to kill twelve men. Yikes! It’s a wonder the FBI didn’t come a-knockin’ on my door.
(Should a novel that includes shoulder-fired rocket launchers and enough dynamite to take out a dozen men sound appealing, and because I haven’t pimped it in some time, you can buy my book here. And ladies, there is plenty of romance, too. And a female heroine. Though not once does she wear a lacy chiffon dress).
Speaking of Google searches, you know what I love? Autocomplete. You know, the search results Google suggests when you start to type in a word or phrase. Some of ’em are quite hilarious. Like this one.
How come if you’re dead, you’re still Googling? And is your inability to poop in any way related to your death? Bet you tossed and turned all night worrying about that. It’s no wonder you can’t find anybody to love you!
Sometimes for fun, I’ll just start typing in random phrases to see what pops up. My aunt likes giraffes. I decided to ask Google about them.
Damn selfish giraffes. They’re not even real! But if they were, they’d selfishly be gay, I’m sure.
Ever wonder why?
No matter what, you really have to question some people’s sanity.
I think the strangest thing on that list is accidentally buying Amazon Prime. That takes at least two mouse clicks and a valid credit card. It’s definitely more premeditated than the others.
Google is so helpful! I like how it tries to figure out what you meant even when you type in complete nonsense.
Gotta love technology! You know what else you gotta love? Let’s find out!
Russian flight attendants. Of course.
Mark My Words 
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