The Afterlife is Like Syndication

When did pizza places become synonymous with chicken wings? It used to be you’d call up your friendly neighborhood pizza joint (even picking up the telephone seems antiquated now) and order a pie. They might offer you breadsticks or a liter of Coke. If they were fancy, perhaps a salad. But now, everybody’s got chicken wings, too. I really don’t understand the logic behind this.

First off, pizza is Italian. And chicken wings are not. They originated in Buffalo, New York – about as far from Naples as you can get. And yet, every Tom, Dick, and Harry who sells pizza also sells chicken wings. We ordered from Domino’s last week, and couldn’t even get to the checkout screen without being bombarded by an ad for chicken. Yes, I’m QUITE SURE I don’t want to add it to my order, thank you very much. And Domino’s has taken things a step further; in addition to wings, they’ve got “specialty chicken bites” which are nothing more than gussied-up McNuggets coated in sauce and cheese.

How does this make sense?
How does this make sense?

If I’m ordering something coated in sauce and cheese from a pizza place, it’s going to be pizza.

This would be the equivalent of serving Pad Thai with pretzels. Or sushi with french fries. Or tacos with tater tots.

Only, that last one really happens. “Mexi-fries,” anyone?

Speaking of food, this weekend there are three big food-related events happening around town: The Bite of Oregon, the Clark County Fair, and the Alberta Street Fair. I’m a little annoyed that these aren’t spaced out better. We have 13 weeks of summer, and all three occur during the same weekend. It’s not even a matter of logistics so much as money. Who can afford all three? So we’ll pick one, and it’ll be The Bite because The Bite rocks. Besides, my bevy of belly-dancers is once again absent from the Alberta Street Fair, so really, what’s the point?


Audrey has fallen into quite a routine this summer. First off, she’s been taking tennis lessons, and has gotten pretty good. But those don’t start until 2 PM, so to kill time before then, she’s been watching old television series on DVD. I usually come home for lunch, so I’m able to catch an episode or two before heading back to work.

First up was The Office. Watching the escapades of Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, and Jam (Jim and Pam – right?) in their prime made me realize just how freakin’ good that show was. Week after week, for many seasons, it delivered big laughs without fail and was one of my all-time favorite comedies. I miss seeing the gang from Dunder Mifflin.

Eventually she ran out of new old episodes, so I suggested she check out Scrubs next. She was too young to appreciate the show when it originally aired, but oh how loved it. Zach Braff’s sitcom was side-splittingly funny, and the fantasy sequences that were a staple of the show were cleverly unique. Like The Office it grew stale the longer it dragged on, but in its prime there was nothing funnier on the air than Scrubs. 

18ixrp49kpnkvjpgSeeing these old favorites again, I had a revelation that a cancelled TV show is like a dead friend or relative. You mourn the loss of both and grieve their passing. These are people you saw on a regular basis. You invited them into your home, and shared in their laughter. And then suddenly they’re gone, never to appear again. Except in reruns, of course, which led to another thought:

The afterlife is kinda like syndication.

I’d expound on that thought further, but the preseason is about to begin and I’m ready for some football. Go, Broncos!


13 thoughts on “The Afterlife is Like Syndication

  1. Mark, I so agree with you on the pizza! When I’m in the mood for pizza (which is often), I want pizza and maybe a salad to go with it. But pizza is one of those things that pretty much stands alone.

    But it’s ironic you mentioned this because I’ve noticed more and more that specialty places are offering way too much on their menus.

    “a cancelled TV show is like a dead friend or relative. You mourn the loss of both and grieve their passing. These are people you saw on a regular basis.”

    Yes! I have felt that way many times when one of my favorite shows went off the air. Like a death of a friend 😦

    “The afterlife is kinda like syndication.”

    Bwhahahahhaha! LOVED that. Brilliant!


    1. “Pizza is one of those things that pretty much stands alone.

      Exactly! But as you point out, more and more specialty places are increasing the number of menu items available – and this has trickled down to pizza restaurants. Everybody is trying to outdo everyone else. Let’s stuff the crust! Let’s add cheesy bread! Let’s sell sandwiches! I just want PIZZA, thank you…


    1. Slightly. The show went off the air in 2010, when she was ten. But I did not watch the last season (new cast, different setting) and only sporadically caught the previous couple. I loved the janitor, too! Neil Flynn is awesome. When Audrey first started watching, she was like, “Hey! It’s the dad from ‘The Middle’!” Right she is, though he’s much kinder in that role.


  2. We hate wings. Seriously! No clue why anyone thinks that goes with pizza.

    I was soooooo pissed when Arrested Development was canceled. My middle child loves to get DVD series from the library. She’s actually been watching Leave It To Beaver this summer!


    1. I love “Arrested Development!” But I never watched it when it was on the air. I actually didn’t get into it until 2010, I believe. Thanks to Netflix. Now I’m an ardent fan and own all three original seasons on DVD!


    1. I find myself mourning fewer shows as they end these days, as well. I was all set to miss “How I Met Your Mother” but the finale was so awful it left a permanent bad taste in my mouth. I’ll be bummed when “Parks and Recreation” ends, but beyond that, I can’t really think of any other show I will truly miss.


  3. Ohmygod, Scrubs! I loved that show and watched it throughout college as well as Beverly Hills 90210 reruns. Remember the one about Brenda’s pregnancy scare? *gasp* So deep.
    And i’m with ya on the pizza vs. wings things. It is weird, and their wings aren’t even good. Just get the pizza.


  4. I just don’t see the sense of chicken wings at pizza places. If you specialize in pizza, how good can you be at making chicken? This has to be some frozen product, doesn’t it? If a pizza place wants to branch out into poultry, why not come up with better chicken/turkey offerings on a pizza crust. I personally love chicken on my pizza rather than a lot of fatty sausage. Panagos has a great pizza with chicken, pineapple, onions, green pepper & mushrooms with a non-traditional mild bbq type sauce. I just wish pizza places would not always assume you have to make a chicken pizza super spicy! If you put some nice flavorful veggies on the pizza, chicken makes a great pizza!


    1. Oh, I’m sure it’s frozen. I don’t see pizza places buying wholesale chicken wings, but I could be wrong. I agree that chicken can be a great pizza topping – one local place makes a chicken and garlic pizza that is to die for.


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