Apparently there was some big wedding in the news a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t really following along, for the same reason I’ll never watch Steel Magnolias or gush over The Bachelor: because I’ve got testosterone. It’s the very presence of this hormone that compels me to offer a few choice words to the future kind of England:
William, you chose the wrong girl.
Sure, Kate’s pretty. I have no doubt she’s a swell gal and will make a fine queen. But her biggest downside? She’s not Pippa.
Up until a few days ago, I had no idea who this “Pippa” that I kept hearing about even was. I assumed at first, it turns out erroneously, that the entire internet was suddenly interested in either:
- An ingredient used to season food,
- A Swedish girl with pigtails who is featured in a series of books and movies,
- One-half of a female rap duo best known for songs like “Push It” and “Let’s Talk About Sex.”
Turns out it was none of the above, but rather, Kate Middleton’s younger sister, Pippa. Once I figured this out, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to do a little research on Pippa. Before long, it became clear to me that Prince William had made a huge mistake.
Allow me to state my case, and offer up the following as evidence.
- Pippa: England’s most eligible bachelorette? (cbsnews.com)