I’ve got a secret to share, and since I promised to write about more personal things, today seems as good as any to spill the beans. I debated for a long time about sharing this, but I simply can’t keep it bottled inside any longer.
I like purple.
No big deal, you say? Try being a guy and admitting that. Unless you’re, say, Prince – or the Minnesota Vikings – you can’t really get away with it. I’ve had girlfriends smirk at me and make the inevitable “who’s wearing the pants in this relationship?” comment when learning of my passion for purple. (The answer? Nobody, if it’s a good relationship! Who’s got time for pants?!). But, I say, hold on a second. This is hardly an obsession. It’s not like I’ve got Barney throw pillows on my couch or a refrigerator stocked to the brim with eggplant. I just find the color visually appealing, and not just any old purple. It’s a very particular shade that I like – deep and dark. Purple is a combination of red and blue, and I definitely like mine with a heavy emphasis on the blue portion. I think it might be called royal? I’d check with Prince William, but he’s too busy preparing for all the critical duties of a future king to worry over the plight of a commoner like me.
I’m sorry it’s not considered a “manly” color, like black (what am I supposed to do, walk around all the time pretending I’m in mourning??) or pink. Labels are ridiculous, unless they tell you not to mix bleach and ammonia or don’t operate heavy equipment after ingesting such-and-such medication. I think purple is cool, baby. Dig it. I’ve heard that Robert Downey Jr. is a fan, and let’s face it, Tony Stark/Iron Man is pretty badass. Plus, the Joker wasn’t somebody to mess around with, either.
I actually blame genetics. I’ve got an aunt and uncle back east who love purple so much that they’ve painted their house that color. Don’t worry, I would never go that far.
Mostly because my homeowner’s association would never let me.
I kid, I kid! I just don’t see the big deal in admitting to the fact that I like the color purple. It’s the color of aristocracy and nobility. Kings in medieval Europe wore the color. Here are some additional interesting facts about purple:
- Purple needlegrass is the state grass of California. Funny, I thought the state grass was grass. Not grass grass but, you know, grass. What with all the easy-to-score marijuana and let’s-legalize-it initiatives.
- In billiards, purple is the color of the 4-solid and 12-striped balls. And also the color of your face when you realize you’ve just been hustled by a pool shark.
- In Japan and other portions of East Asia, the color purple is associated with death. Great. I’m 42 and I like purple. I may not survive this year, after all.
- Purple figures prominently in Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven. The narrator’s curtains are purple and the cushions have a “velvet violet lining.”
- In Star Trek, the Klingons have purple blood. And I’m sure Captain Kirk bedded a purple alien chick or two in his day.
- Porphyrophobia is fear of the color purple. Deepporphyrophobia is fear of the band Deep Purple.
- In U.S. politics, a “purple state” is one evenly divided between Republicans (represented by the color red) and Democrats (the color blue). In other words, it is a myth.
- The only words that rhyme with purple are “curple” (the small of the waist before the flare of the hips) and “hurple” (Scottish for an impediment similar to a limp). Take that, orange!
- People with purple auras are said to have a love of ritual and ceremony. They’d also better keep an eye out for Sheb Wooley, who extolled the virtues of dining on them in his 1958 hit song Purple People Eater.
- A purple room can boost a child’s imagination or an artist’s creativity. It also does a swell job of hiding grape juice stains.
So, there you go. If it’s good enough for Jimi Hendrix, then it’s good enough for me!
Related Articles
- Permanently Purple (markingtime4now.wordpress.com)
Mark My Words 
Leave a reply to Mark Petruska Cancel reply