Wednesday, it finally happened: I got my coveted window seat at CheeseGov. On a day it was snowing, no less!
I immediately texted the news to Tara, and even boasted of my good fortune via an Instagram story.
But my excitement didn’t last long. A constant parade of people walking by would stop by my desk, eye me pitiably, and remark, “You got stuck with the worst cubicle on the sixth floor!”
Key words: constant parade.
A window is fine and dandy, but it’s not enough of a perk to offset an exposed cubicle situated at the intersection of two high-traffic hallways. Passersby streamed past my desk all day long, nonstop. At one point a group of them congregated directly next to me, chitchatting for a solid ten minutes. Seriously: WTF? Even with headphones on, I could hear them yammering away. And I was rockin’ out.
Plus, it felt like every single person walking by was looking over my shoulder. This wasn’t just paranoia rearing its ugly head: every single person walking by literally was looking over my shoulder. Not to be nosy; they couldn’t help themselves.
Adding insult to injury, the leader of the Space Consolidation Team stopped by to ask why I had moved the monitors and keyboard into the corner. To look at the snow, I almost blurted out, but didn’t want to sound like I was nine years old.
(I do love snow, though. Sue me.)
Turns out this particular cubicle has a fancy electronic raised desk, which I had failed to notice at first. This explains the lack of a wall (not to mention the array of lighted buttons – not sure how I overlooked those, as the damn thing kind of resembles the cockpit of a fighter jet). There are people who love raised desks, but I am not one of them. I find I do my best writing with my ass planted firmly in a chair. So, I had to move all the equipment back to its original spot. If you think having people walk behind you all day long is bad, try having them walk right next to you. I have never felt so naked in my life, and guys, I have literally been naked at work.
Long time ago. Don’t ask.
Anywho: hoteling lesson learned. Henceforth, I refuse to sit in any cubicle with fewer than three walls. Four would be preferable, but then I’d need a ladder to get in and out, and that doesn’t seem practical.
The snow, by the way, was a bit of a surprise. Just a day earlier they were only forecasting a 40% chance, and it wasn’t supposed to amount to much. Maybe an inch at best, if we were lucky.
I guess we were super lucky, because we had triple that.
Which meant I had to shovel the driveway this morning, but I didn’t complain. Childlike sense of wonder over snow, remember?
Mark My Words 
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