Often, when Tara and I are out somewhere – say, a bar – we’ll find ourselves chatting up the couple next to us, or our server, or some other unsuspecting sap. Nine times out of ten, the fact that we’re new(ish) to Wisconsin pops up. Whenever it does, we inevitably hear the same question:
“What brought you to Wisconsin?”
For months we’d stumble through our answer, and it always made us sound kind of insane. We drove through the area, thought it was lovely, decided to quit our jobs and sell our house purely on a whim. People were forever eyeing us skeptically, because nobody in their right minds does such a thing. We’d mention my job offer with TobacCo, and they’d latch onto that. “Oh, so work brought you here!” Err…no, the job was more a means to an end. I usually talked about the fact that Rapid City was five hours from anywhere, we desired more culture, Tara wanted to garden, yadda yadda. As if you can’t find a hoe in South Dakota!
There are plenty of hoes in South Dakota.
In any case, because truth is stranger than fiction, we decided to have some fun with this and concoct the most outlandish backstory we could come up with. Yesterday, when the inevitable question arose, I pounced.
“What brought you to Wisconsin?” the unsuspecting victim asked.
“Well,” I replied, “It was the perfect storm of indictments and restraining orders.”
Unfortunately, I’m a much better actor than my wife, who has trouble keeping a straight face in situations like these. I was therefore unable to continue with the meat of the story: that we are on the run, Bonnie and Clyde style, because I got caught embezzling $1.2 million from my company, and Tara has a crazy jealous gun-toting ex who threatened to murder us both.
OK, so I couldn’t finish the story this time. But it will happen…mark my words. With another beer or two, Tara should be able to curb the nervous laughter and we’ll be golden. Because the look on our victim’s face yesterday, before my wife interjected with the truth, was priceless.
Friday afternoon, I headed into Madison to kill a few hours. I was on a mission to pick up supper from Paul’s Pel’meni, which has one thing on their menu (hint: it’s pelmeni). We’re big fans of these traditional Russian dumplings. For many years, my aunt in Oregon had everyone over for a Russian-themed Christmas Eve dinner, where my cousins would make pelmeni from scratch. That was always a delicious highlight of the holiday season. Luckily, Paul’s pelmeni are legit.
I also wanted to check out a food cart that received a front-page writeup in the Wisconsin State Journal in October. Every time I’d walked by Fresh Cool Drinks on State Street, there’d be a line a mile long, mostly students from UW-Madison. I couldn’t figure out why smoothies were such a draw, but the article explained that it’s the $5 giant spring rolls that are most popular. I love a good spring roll and am happy to support a friendly, hardworking Laotian woman who makes everything by hand, six days a week, from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. in a cramped little kitchen that is probably broiling hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. And she’s been doing this for 17 years!
So, I parked my car near the capital and walked down State Street, a bustle of activity even with light snow falling. Grabbed a spot in line, and 20 minutes later, emerged with an avocado shrimp spring roll the size of a football, and a small carrot avocado coconut smoothie. Figured I should give that a try, too. It was way too cold to eat outside, so I wandered over to Memorial Union and ate lunch surrounded by college kids.
The verdict: holy shit. Probably the best spring roll I’ve ever had. It was filled with shrimp, avocado, bean sprouts, cabbage, cucumbers, spinach, cilantro, rice noodles, and a heavenly peanut sauce. I started to unwrap the plastic, but realized it was probably there to prevent all the ingredients from bursting forth. Instead, I rolled it down after every bite. Smart move; I avoided what might have been an embarrassing rookie mistake, because the thin rice flour wrapper was barely able to contain all that goodness inside. I get the hype; it was seriously great. Healthy, cheap, and delicious food prepared by the friendliest, most endearing woman on the planet is a recipe for success…especially when you’re catering mostly to broke college students.
As for the smoothie, well…that was more an afterthought for me. I am not a smoothie person because they can be chock full of sugar, which is why I chose the combination I did. It was interesting; all three flavors – carrot, avocado, and coconut – came through. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t dislike it, either. There are roughly a million flavor combinations available, so I’ll try a different one next time.
My walk back to the car was a cold one. Light snow continued to fall, and with holiday decorations everywhere – including a Christmas tree inside the capital – it all felt very Decembery.
As did yesterday, when Tara and I stayed close to home for our little town’s Holiday Open House & Market. We bought a few items, including ornaments and baked goods, and stopped by a pub for a couple of drinks and appetizers before heading home for the evening.
All in all, it’s been a great weekend, and I’m happy to report that Team MarTar is still one step ahead of both the law and the jealous ex.
Mark My Words 
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