Poor Men Wanna Be Rich, Rich Men Wanna Be Kings

Last summer, during my road trip back east, I drove through the Badlands of South Dakota. Traversing the winding road past majestic, red-striped ancient rock formations, I cranked up the music really loudly, rocking out to the one song that made sense at that moment: "Badlands" by Bruce Springsteen. Because I'm both a literalist, and … Continue reading Poor Men Wanna Be Rich, Rich Men Wanna Be Kings

The Rock That Saved Thanksgiving

You know how Charlie Brown was pissed off when he went trick-or-treating and all he got from every house he visited was a rock? The dude should stop complaining. A rock saved our Thanksgiving. Let me set the scene... It's Thursday, 1:00 PM. We've got a turkey roasting in the oven, pumpkin and sweet potato … Continue reading The Rock That Saved Thanksgiving

The Proposal That Wasn’t

Monday morning, a coworker approached my desk and congratulated me on my engagement to Tara. Twenty miles away, on the other side of the river, at about the same time, Tara was receiving similar felicitations. (Lovely word, that. First time I’ve ever used it in a sentence). This, following a weekend of “congratulations!” and well … Continue reading The Proposal That Wasn’t

7 Steps to Writing for a Living

One of my readers asked me a question last week after hearing the good news about my new writing job, and it’s something I’d love to address. I was actually going to mention it in the post anyway, but I was already getting pretty long-winded. A writer needs to know when to edit, too. The … Continue reading 7 Steps to Writing for a Living

Cashing in on Karma

I quit my job today. No, you are not reading that incorrectly. And it’s not a bad thing, either. In fact, it’s a very good thing. I’ll let the dust settle on that little announcement before continuing. But here’s what I am beginning to believe: I lead a charmed life. Either that, or I am … Continue reading Cashing in on Karma

Dolphins Make Me Happy

When Tara first moved in, she said, “I miss working out. We should join a gym once we’re both working again.” “Great idea, dear!” I declared enthusiastically. Mainly because this seemed like a distant threat at the time. Someday the sun will implode and humanity will perish too, but I don’t sit around worrying about … Continue reading Dolphins Make Me Happy

Greek Gods, Roman Emperors, and Snow

The Weather Channel, in their infinite wisdom – or is it a push to boost ratings? – has taken to naming winter storms this year. Apparently they decided if it’s good enough for hurricanes, then by golly, it’s good enough for snowstorms, too! I have ridiculed the names given to hurricanes in the past, arguing … Continue reading Greek Gods, Roman Emperors, and Snow

Put the “United” back in States

I woke up in the bluest state in America this morning. Washington, you see, is the new Oregon. The Beaver State has always had the edge in progressive liberalism, but we surpassed them last night. In Washington, the people spoke, and they said collectively, “let same-sex couples marry” and “make marijuana legal.” I supported both … Continue reading Put the “United” back in States

My Bark is Worse Than Your Bite

First, it was the belly dancer I lusted over. Now, Loretta Swit’s cousin – you know, the actress best known for her role as Major Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan on MASH – found a post where I had mentioned her. I was discussing my newly-discovered Polish heritage, and gave a shout-out to some famous Polish … Continue reading My Bark is Worse Than Your Bite

I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues

“You wanna come in and sing some blues?” “No thanks, Taj. There’s something about those songs. They depress me.” Unlike Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin’s character in The Jerk), I have recently discovered that I actually like the blues. This comes as a big surprise, because I am unapologetically a rock ‘n roll guy. We … Continue reading I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues