Meet Your Next Reality TV Star…! Or at least I could be, based on the email I received this morning. Hey Mark! Bray Entertainment, the Co-Creators of Pawn Stars, is casting and developing a new documentary TV series about the real life Clark Griswold from National Lampoon's Vacation Movies. We are looking for an entertaining and charismatic dad, like you, who is always … Continue reading Meet Your Next Reality TV Star…

Killing Me Softly With His Gun

A few nights ago, Tara had a dream about me. She was reluctant to talk about it, for fear that it would scare me or freak me out. "Did I die in it?" I asked. She admitted that I had. "How did I die?" "You were shot." Upon hearing that, I breathed a sigh of relief. … Continue reading Killing Me Softly With His Gun

What The Pho?

It never ceases to amaze me how two otherwise perfectly compatible people can have such diametrically opposed palates. This thought popped into my head yesterday during lunch. There I was, hunched over a steaming bowl of pho, slurping up every last ounce of aromatic, beefy broth, when I glanced across the table and saw Tara … Continue reading What The Pho?

Ring My Bell

For months it taunted me. Hanging there, ten or twelve feet off the ground, smack dab between Meat and Dairy. A bell, shiny and mysterious, dangling from the rafters of our local WinCo.I had tried in vain since last summer to ring it, but always came up just short. At first I tried jumping, but … Continue reading Ring My Bell

Turning Verbs Into Nouns

Tara and I were recently in Sears shopping for a new washing machine. I couldn't help but chuckle over the silliness of calling a machine that washes clothes a "washing machine." The name's much too literal. We don't call a car a "driving machine" or a refrigerator a "keeping food cold machine."  And why isn't … Continue reading Turning Verbs Into Nouns

Celebrities & Serial Killers

Saturday evening, after a busy day running errands, we stopped at Papa Murphy's to pick up pizza. I ordered, and the cashier asked for a name. Without missing a beat, I gave him a name. Rico. First off, he didn't ask for my name. Second, I love to mess around with people in the dining industry. In … Continue reading Celebrities & Serial Killers

We’re Such Groupies

Last weekend, when I wasn't busy proposing to my girlfriend or chatting with rock stars,* I was buying peanuts from WinCo. A handful of peanuts makes a perfect mid-morning snack, and eating an ounce a day, in fact, can cut your risk of heart disease in half, and decrease your diabetes risk by 25%. At … Continue reading We’re Such Groupies

Right Down The Line

During my trip to Ely in December 2011, Tara and I were shopping at Ridley's supermarket one evening, and a song started playing over the loudspeakers. It was an old 70s pop classic - Gerry Rafferty's "Right Down The Line." One of my favorite mellow pop hits from that decade. I turned to Tara and … Continue reading Right Down The Line

Jumping The Shark

A few days ago, I diagnosed a case of tonsillitis over Facebook. I don't know whether to laugh about this or consider enrolling in medical school, but it did make me feel all smart and doctor-y. One of my friends messaged me looking for advice because her daughter had a white spot on her tonsil. … Continue reading Jumping The Shark