Feels like I’ve been away forever! I’ll just blame this rare stretch of cat-got-my-tongue on being super busy. Which certainly isn’t untrue, though there may be more to the story than just that. Don’t you hate it when people are vague? Anyhoo, there was nothing vague about karma bitch-slapping my wife in the face one … Continue reading Speak nicely or forever hold your “peace!”
Tag: Breaking Bad
Lukewarm Off the Press
The fall edition of our parenting magazine arrived this week. When that delivery truck pulls up outside and all the boxes are unloaded from the pallet, it's always a cause for celebration—physical proof of our collective hard work. Some people claim that print is dead, but my boss doesn't believe that. Neither do the businesses … Continue reading Lukewarm Off the Press
Ventriloquist Cricket
Have you ever seen the Breaking Bad episode titled "Fly"? If so, you have a pretty good idea how my day went at work on Monday. To summarize briefly, "Fly" involves Walt White's failed attempt to catch a fly that is buzzing around the superlab. I should set the record straight and let you know … Continue reading Ventriloquist Cricket
What’s Old is New Again
I have a coworker who just started watching The Office. He may be late to the party, but boy do I envy him right now. Imagine having nine glorious seasons' worth of new-to-you episodes of a beloved, critically-acclaimed comedy series to watch? Actually, I can. That happened to me just last year with Curb Your … Continue reading What’s Old is New Again
When Life Hands You Lemons, Ask For Limes
We were shopping for groceries last weekend and needed limes. I was dismayed to find them priced at 89 cents each. Normally, they cost about a quarter. "Do they think we're rubes?" I said. "Forget it. We'll buy them somewhere else." The next day, we were Somewhere Else. And guess what? They were selling limes for 99 cents … Continue reading When Life Hands You Lemons, Ask For Limes
Wine Makes You Do Crazy Things
Dear Neighbors, I would like to apologize for running through the sprinklers in your backyard while whooping and hollering late Friday night. I have no excuse for my boorish behavior other than to say, wine makes you do crazy things. I hope all is forgiven. Best Regards, Mark Prior to the dashing-through-the-sprinklers bit, it had … Continue reading Wine Makes You Do Crazy Things
When Night Bleeds Into Morning
This morning found me puttering around the kitchen a few minutes past 5:00, eyes still bleary with sleep while I sliced mushrooms, grated cheese, cracked eggs and fried bacon. This is not a part of my normal routine; even on a workday I don't usually get up any earlier than 6:20, but Tara's alarm had … Continue reading When Night Bleeds Into Morning
Where’s My Thrift Store Picasso?
Did you hear about the guy in Ohio who bought a Picasso print from a thrift store for $14, then discovered it wasn't a reproduction after all but a genuine, original poster signed by the artist himself and turned around and resold it for $7000? This pisses me off. Because if anybody appreciates a good … Continue reading Where’s My Thrift Store Picasso?
Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Closeup
My life has been unusually balanced lately. In the past, it has seemed like there were hardly enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished - even being out of work. I'd felt like I was too busy online to watch any TV, too busy watching TV to read a book, too busy reading … Continue reading Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Closeup
Impatience Isn’t A Virtue
Patience may be a virtue, but it has never been one of my strong suits. Given the fact that my girlfriend is coming up for a visit in just five more days, you'd think I'd be able to deal with that. After all, when we parted ways in Ely on September 11th, we had 38 … Continue reading Impatience Isn’t A Virtue
Mark My Words 