3 Guys Standing Around Talking About Europe

“Tara and I are heading up to Seattle this weekend.” “Cool. You guys taking the train?” “No, we’re driving. But we’d love to take the train sometime.” “You should. It’s not much more expensive than driving, and you can kick back and enjoy the scenery.” “Plus, two words: cocktail car!” “And it would give youContinue reading “3 Guys Standing Around Talking About Europe”

I Won $10 in a Beauty Contest! Go me!

A funny thing happened to me the other night… You know how you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night disoriented? I guess my brain was still fuzzy because I got out of bed for a drink of water and my foot brushed against something soft and furry. “Oh, that must be Sydney,”Continue reading “I Won $10 in a Beauty Contest! Go me!”

Would You Like Flies With That?

In 1980, I was in the sixth grade at Hickam Elementary School in Honolulu. Hawaii, being a tropical island, is home to a lot of insects. This explains the giant electric bug zapper that hung suspended from the ceiling of the cafeteria, I suppose. But not really. I mean, how disgusting is that? I recallContinue reading “Would You Like Flies With That?”

Don’t Blame Me, I’m Polish!

A few days ago, I discovered a surprising – and heretofore unknown – truth about my heritage. It turns out I’m part Polish. How, exactly, did I arrive at this conclusion? It was right around the time my mom said, “Guess what? You’re part Polish!” To say this pronouncement caught me off guard is anContinue reading “Don’t Blame Me, I’m Polish!”

My Cat Is Fat

Last night, I was forced to admit a terrible truth, one that I had long suspected but habitually denied. My cat is fat. I knew she was lazy. Anybody who sleeps 21 hours a day earns that designation. The excessive girth my parents keep pointing out whenever they’d stop by for a visit? Nothing moreContinue reading “My Cat Is Fat”