You’ll Have to Pry This Cookie Gun From My Cold, Dead, Flour-Dusted Hands

At one point on Sunday afternoon, I was gathering and stacking wood while Tara was in the kitchen baking. Then I went downstairs to watch football while she busied herself doing laundry. Rarely have our gender roles been so clearly—and, it must be said, stereotypically—defined.

It’s not always like that. Honestly, it’s rarely like that. If one of us were whipping up a fancy meal in the kitchen with an apron cinched around our waist and the other were changing the oil in her car, well, you wouldn’t need that pronoun to figure out who was doing what. So, given the novelty of the situation, I cherished my hunter/gatherer role for a few brief minutes before disappearing into the bedroom to sort and fold socks.

Further evidence of the fleeting nature of my alpha maleness: I took a personal day today to make spritz cookies and wrap gifts. Actually, I took the day off because PPL doesn’t roll over to the next year and I still had a balance of eight hours. When presented with a use it or lose it scenario, I am Team Use It. So, I decided to stay home and mess around with my gun.

Granted, it’s a cookie gun.

Shh. Move along, folks. There’s nothing to see here. Other than some delicious-looking coconut, lemon, orange, vanilla, and almond cookies.

The holiday season has long been synonymous with traditions. In the PNW, that meant attending the Festival of Lights at The Grotto and watching brightly decorated Christmas ships parade down the Columbia River and narrowly avoiding getting blown up by terrorists to catch the tree lighting ceremony in Pioneer Square. You know, the usual festive fun.

Out here, we had to come up with new traditions. One of our favorites is grabbing dinner downtown before hopping in the car and driving around to look at Christmas lights and decorations. We bring along mugs of hot cocoa that may or may not contain a splash of something adultish.

Last year, we discovered an amazing light display in Hermosa, a little town 20 or so minutes south of Rapid City with more cows than people. We thought maybe that display was a one-time event, because can you imagine his lighting bill, but nope. It was every bit as big and bright this year.

It’s official: this guy wins Christmas.

Another new tradition involves seeing It’s A Wonderful Life on the big screen Christmas Eve. Last year was Tara’s first time getting to know George Bailey (how is that even possible??) and she loved the movie, so we bought tickets for the 1:00 show at the Elks Theatre tomorrow.

Not a tradition per se—but maybe it should be?—we’re meeting up with a bunch of Tara’s coworkers for drinks at our local dive bar this evening. We’ll probably play a little pool, too.

By the way, it’s a good thing I brought in all that wood on Sunday. It’s supposed to get super cold next week with arctic air settling in. Single digits for highs, below zero overnight.

Even the good ol’ PNW is forecasting frigid temps.

Not sure whether we’ll have any snow accompanying the cold yet but fingers crossed!

Have a merry Christmas y’all, and stay warm if you’re in the path of the polar vortex.

27 thoughts on “You’ll Have to Pry This Cookie Gun From My Cold, Dead, Flour-Dusted Hands”

  3. It may even snow on us in Gearhart. I was just having a beer with my pal Willie, overlooking the front side of the Gearhart Golf Links and the temp dropped about four degrees while were sitting there. Ah, nothing like a nice cold beer on a nice cold day. When I say “cold,” I mean 40 degrees. Colder tomorrow, lows in the 20s. Might get into the teens this weekend. Yeah, it’s the north Oregon coast, not the upper midwest. Stay warm and have a great Christmas.

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    1. I still follow Mark Nelsen’s weather blog and it’s fun to see people getting amped up over cold and snow. I hope you get some down your way…there’s nothing quite like seeing snow on the beach! In any case, have a Merry Christmas.

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  4. Now that is a Christmas extravaganza! As for the cookie gun… it’s a good thing we’re both happily married because looking at those man baked beauties makes me swoon. I’ve been married 37 years and my husband has never cooked, no less baked! for me. Tara is a lucky woman.

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    1. Granted, I don’t do a lot of baking, but spritz cookies are kind of my “thing.” My mom also made them every year (still does), so one of the first things I did when I was on my own was invest in a cookie gun of my own. A heavy duty stainless steel one, no less.

      Your hubby might not cook, but he pours a mean beer straight outta the keg! 🙂

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  5. Dive bars with pool tables are fun. Our local joint has nightly karaoke too.
    Now hold up. How do you put cookie gun in the title and show one or two pics of said gun but offer NO friggin’ explanation of what exactly that is and how it works for those of us who clearly don’t follow gender roles well either, or who just aren’t that adept at baking? (That was a long sentence.)

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  7. Rainbow spritz cookies! My grandma used to make them, but in just boring old tan. Didn’t stop me from eating them though. So maybe snow/rain tomorrow, snow on Christmas and then we get the polar vortex for most of the week, but they say dry. I walk most days and am really wishing a had a nifty red snow suit like Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Have a great holiday Mark!

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  9. The spritz gun of my childhood used to jam–you had to push like mad to get the batter out. Made everyone’s fingers hurt. I bet the yours is newer and easier. We just did traditional almond ones when I was a kid, but they were delicious.

    I love all your new traditions. Movies? Food? Sign me up!

    We used to walk through an amazing light display less than a mile from our house. But now it’s so popular we watch traffic back up on the 6 lane major road not far from OUR house. We gave it a miss during COVID and I’m not sure we’ll go this year, either, thanks to all the rain.

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    1. That’s the problem when people discover the really great light displays: those places end up mobbed. Luckily, Hermosa is off the beaten path and few people know about this guy’s lights.

      So far, anyway.

      My spritz gun is stainless steel, so yeah, it rocks. If you ever invest in one, definitely go for quality.

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  10. Believe it or not, I’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life all the way through, either.
    Those frigid temps make drizzly, dreary, gray England seem not so bad after all. It’s a balmy 44 degrees here!
    Your cookies look fab. I haven’t used my cookie gun in ages. People told me it made me look too masculine and that there were softer, gentler ways to make cookies. 😉

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  11. I haven’t made spritz cookies since childhood, though I do have the cookie gun from my mom. I love that you made them flavored. Merry Christmas!

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