#TeamPineapple

I’ve always felt that pineapple is criminally underrated.

Maybe this is because I was born in Hawaii. Pineapple is practically in my blood! Coconut, too. I’m like a living, breathing Pina Colada. So, it bothers me when pineapple gets a bad rap.

This usually occurs in connection with pizza. People have very strong opinions about putting pineapple on pizza, and they’re mostly negative. A recent YouGov poll found that pineapple is one of the least-popular pizza toppings (only anchovies and eggplant were more despised). On one Twitter thread, people who like pineapple on pizza are compared to Hitler. Gordon Ramsay, never one to shy away from an expletive, once said, “You don’t put fucking pineapple on pizza.”

The vitriol doesn’t stop there. Iceland’s president wants to ban pineapple on pizza. You know what I’d like to ban, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson? Impossible-to-decipher symbols over letters. Locating them on a keyboard is a real pain in the ass! I also don’t have much use for the Northern Lights, come to think of it. The moon works just fine for me, so you can take your Aurora and shove it up your Borealis.

I may be just a tad bitter.

A University of Arizona student ordered a barbecue chicken pizza with pineapple, but when it arrived, she was handed a box with a $5 bill taped to it and a handwritten note that read, Couldn’t bring myself to put pineapple on it. That’s gross. Sorry. True story. Well, I think large roof-mounted signs atop cars are an abomination, but I’m not going to give anybody a hard time about them. Pizza delivery drivers playing god is one trend I can do without.

To me, it’s not a question of should we put pineapple on pizza, but rather, how much pineapple should we pile on top of pizza? (The answer: a lot.)

hawaiian pizza

I don’t understand the revulsion, and the blatant elitism bugs me. Pineapple on pizza is delicious and provides a delightfully sweet/sour/juicy contrast to the tangy tomato sauce and savory meat. It goes especially well with ham but is a great topping on any pizza IMHO. My go-to order is Marco’s Hawaiian Chicken, a decadent combination of ham, grilled chicken, bacon, pineapple, tomato sauce and blend of three cheeses. Tara and I split one last week and it was freakin’ amazing. ‘Nuff said.

People who despise pineapple on pizza are probably the same snobs who decry avocado toast (another fave) and kale. Look, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but petty self-righteousness is downright silly. Save your moral indignation for real concerns, like people who run red lights, or cheat on their taxes, or commit murder-by-drone because of their oversized egos. I happen to hate watermelon, but I don’t give those who enjoy it a hard time.

Live and let olive, that’s my motto. Give peas a chance.

The real irony? Hawaiian pizza was invented by a Greek immigrant in Canada. Yet another reason why I am so enamored with our neighbor to the north. Even Justin Trudeau is #TeamPineapple.

Post-Thanksgiving blizzard aside, our weather has been fairly uneventful this winter. But that’s about to change.

You know it’s going to be cold when there’s an igloo in the 10-day forecast.

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Tara isn’t happy about this, but I don’t mind. I know I’m in the minority here (much like people who love pineapple on pizza), but I enjoy cold weather. It’s the perfect excuse to bury yourself beneath blankets, build a fire in the hearth, and eat soup. Sure, going out in it sucks, but it’s like a 15-step walk from the parking lot at my work to the office. By the time you even notice it’s cold, you’re inside. I just don’t see the big deal.

I knew what I was getting into when I moved to South Dakota. Go ahead, bring it on!

33 thoughts on “#TeamPineapple”

  2. I thought the feuding about it was silly and amusing at first, but like all things once humans latch on…it went overboard.

    Although, personally, I LOVE anchovy pizza. I’m okay with pineapple on pizza, but it’s the ham I can’t stand.

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  3. That whole paragraph about Iceland’s president was side splitting. Well done. I also cracked up at the igloo. Wow! Does your car have trouble starting when it’s that cold, though? I also like pineapple on pizza. My husband does not. We therefore never get it. Then again, I put canned corn on my pizza b/c that’s how they did it when I lived in Austria, and I was all for it. So, I may just be weird. You shouldn’t use me as an example for your argument. 🙂

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    1. My car starts up just fine. Of course, this could be due to the fact that I park in the garage! Actually, even last winter, when we had a few weeks of subzero temps and I was parking outside, it started up just fine. I did buy a cold-starting battery when I got here, which I am sure helps matters.

      Canned corn?! (Not judging…I’ve just never heard of that before. But, there’s a pizza place in Spearfish that had a special last summer that included goat cheese and fresh corn, and it was pretty damn good!)

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      1. Well, there you have it. Don’t knock the corn. Maybe canned is a stretch, but I work with what I’ve got.
        Good thinking on the battery. My hubs grew up in Northern MN. He’s told me some stories about his car not starting.

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  5. Our family LOVES pineapple pizza. I pass on the ham, though. You’re right; it’s the perfect combination with the sauce and cheese.

    We have been having relatively mild weather (30’s and low 40’s). I did take a walk on Tuesday, but the wind was brutal.

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    1. It’s all about the wind, isn’t it? That’s one thing that can ruin an otherwise perfectly mild day.

      You are not the only person to say they are okay with pineapple but don’t care for ham!

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  6. Mark, I LOVE fresh pineapple, but not on my pizza. When is comes pizza, my favorite is Pizza Margherita, plain and simple – thin crust, tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, fresh basil, salt and olive oil, with a nice glass of red wine.

    It’s been a uneventful winter here as well. Yesterday it snowed for like TWO minutes, then the sun came out, then 30 mins later it snowed again for another TWO minutes, and then stopped. I’m hoping (and praying) that we get A LOT of snow towards the end of this month, and in Feb and March.

    “… bury yourself beneath blankets, build a fire in the hearth, and eat soup…”

    Yes…I totally agree with you! 🙂

    Enjoy that cold weather, my friend!

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    1. I love a good Margherita pizza myself, Ron. Sometimes simple is best, especially when the ingredients are fresh. And red wine is the perfect accompaniment.

      I haven’t been too disappointed in our lack of snow lately because we got so much with our blizzard, there are STILL patches and drifts everywhere…and it’s been over a month.

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  7. I too love fresh pineapple. . .just not on pizza. I also enjoy pineapple with ham, just as long as Mr. Tomato is nowhere nearby. But I love eggplant on pizza, so I’m just a weird mix.

    I’m a tried and true New Englander, so I can handle the cold. . .to a point. When it gets so cold that it’s too hard to breathe, I cry Uncle. I also have a five minute walk from my office to the parking lot, so many of my winter nights are spent muttering about wind chills or how the slum lord college student apartment building owners don’t shovel or salt the sidewalks!

    I need to break out my Instant Pot and make some soup.

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    1. Unshoveled and unsalted sidewalks bug me, too. There’s a city ordinance that stipulates sidewalks must be cleared within 24 hours of a snowfall, yet far too many people ignore that (apparently without consequences).

      What have you got against Mr. Tomato?

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  8. Oh my gosh, I also love cold weather! Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to dine al fresco in the igloo weather or anything crazy like that, but winter, yay!
    I love pineapple and think it may well be my second favorite fruit. I don’t hate pineapple on pizza, but it’s not my thing. Left to my own devices, I would like to have light sauce, and basil, olives of any kind, mozza, and red onion. Suffice to say, I eat a lot of cheese pizza because I am alone in my pizza desires.
    I also enjoy peas, kale, and avocado toast. Umm, I like food.

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  9. I actuall like pineapple on pizza. My girlfriend ordered one one night and I tried it and it’s not bad. The contrast does taste pretty good. I wouldn’t want it every day but it’s not bad at all. I don’t know when or why all the hate started but maybe it will go away over time. Great post!

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  10. I love pineapple!!!! I do not, however like ham or canadian bacon on my pizza so for me it’s pepperoni & pineapple. It can also be one of the many meat combo pizzas, such as “the supreme” or “meatlovers” or whatever your local pizza place calls it. Just please add pineapple to mine.

    I also love chicken + (American) bacon, green bell pepper, onion, black olive & pineapple.

    BBQ chicken + pineapple. Definitely.

    And of course I like pineapple on my teriyaki burger. Do they make a teriyaki burger with pineapple pizza? If so, I’d probably eat it.

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  12. It’s amazing what people will get their undies in a bundle over, isn’t it? I didn’t think fruit belonged on pizza, or vegetables belonged in bread (zucchini bread) when I was younger, but now I’ve matured and so have my taste buds. I love a good ol’ Hawaiian pizza. By the way, today is the beginning of National Pizza Week, so enjoy a pizza everyone… with or without pineapple. It really doesn’t matter to me one way or another. I’m not a total saint though, the husband puts ketchup on pizza, which is an abomination and a violation of the laws of nature. 😉

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    1. I was with you on the whole vegetables-in-bread thing too when I was younger, but there’s nothing like a nice slice of fresh zucchini bread with a dollop of butter on top. I’m glad I saw the error of my ways (and it sounds like you are, too).

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  13. I can go for Canadian Bacon and Pineapple. But I’ve gotta say, the worst pizza I ever had was anchovies and black olives with the pits still in ’em. I had an excuse though, the menu was in Italian and all I could do is randomly point at something.

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  14. Very funny on the whole pineapple thing. I think anything is fair game on pizza. Pizza happens to be my death row meal (in case you haven’t played the death row meal game, it is your final request for your last meal on Earth). The igloo made me smile🙂

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    1. I used to visit the Texas correctional department’s website because they post (or used to) every death row inmate’s last meal. I always found that morbidly fascinating. Some go all out, while one guy chose…an apple.

      Guess he didn’t have much of an appetite.

      I’d go with fried chicken personally.

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