Unleashed But Still Caged Up

At 10 AM, my nurse unleashed me.

Rawr?

(Actually, the “rawr” was reserved for last night when Tara came over and “snuggled up” with me in the hospital bed. Shh…).

But this morning they removed the last pesky IV from my arm. At one point I had four lines going into two arms. If you’ve never been hooked up to an IV, you won’t understand how restrictive it is. And every time you move the wrong way, the damn thing beeps at you. Want to get up to stretch your legs, go to the bathroom, take a shower, etc.? The IV pole is coming with you. So all I can say is, freedom!

Yet I’m still in the hospital, and will be for another night. I’m just in a different room now. Remember how nice my first room was, with a full-on view of Mt. Hood?

Yeah. This one is not. Despite a fun room number (420, sure to elicit snickers from all the potheads (and don’t potheads and Snickers just go together?)), the room is pretty crappy. First off, it’s about 30 years older than the previous one. It is sterile and feels like a cage. It’s like stepping down from the Waldorf to Motel 6. Plus, there’s a second bed in here. I really, really don’t want a roommate. If it comes to that, I’m sure I’ll draw the curtains around my bed and then I’ll really feel like I’m in a cage.

On the plus side, I woke up with my vision greatly improved this morning. It had been so blurry I couldn’t see more than two feet from my face. Diabetes can damage your organs and has been known to cause blindness in certain individuals, so I was a little freaked out. I’m very glad to see (pun intended) my vision returning to normal.

I already miss my nurses from the other wing (I was in the Progressive Care Unit, and now am in just the regular ol’ hospital). Oddly enough, they were almost all male – and they were awesome. Yesterday I was attended to by a pair I nicknamed the Dynamic Duo. We were cracking jokes all day long, swapping stories, etc. At one point I was moving furniture around in my room, and they were shocked. “Our typical patient isn’t nearly so mobile,” Nurse John (who, unbelievably, is Peyton Manning’s first cousin by marriage!) said. “You’re the first to ever move the furniture around.” And then he dropped a cup on the floor and I said, “Cleanup on Aisle 4!” We shared that kind of banter all day long. It was very weird to be on the PCU. That unit is reserved for people who need extensive care but don’t quite quality for the ICU. Lots of cardiac patients, and almost everybody is 70+. No wonder they all kept calling me young and spry.

The night nurse who waited on me before the Dynamic Duo was a pretty cool guy, too. Don’t get me wrong, the nurses on this new floor are nice enough, but we haven’t quite developed that kind of bond. Ashley did compliment me on my music choice, though. Yeah…I’m playing it nonstop. Got nothing else to do today, right? Other than the Rose Bowl at 2 PM. Go, Ducks!

So last night after they moved me, I asked for a sleeping pill since I had been up the entire night before. They gave me two melatonin.

Holy shit.

I managed to snap this pic…

And then fell into a stupor so deep I felt like I was dead. Even though nurses were coming in all night long to check my vitals and take blood, I barely registered their existence. At one point I swear a couple of interns came barging into my room for a little make-out sesh, then apologized profusely because they thought the room was empty. I even remember the guy was wearing red scrubs…but now I question whether that really even happened.  I had to force my eyes open this morning, too. And I only did that because breakfast was coming. No more sleeping pills for me…I prefer to be semi-cognizant, at least.

Speaking of breakfast, I’m now eating actual food. If you can call tough and chewy pot roast and bland scrambled eggs food. C’mon, at least give me a little salt here instead of “chef seasoning.” My sodium is not an issue, folks.

Yesterday I had a bunch of visitors, and a coworker (hi, Sarah!) dropped off a plant, a balloon, and a card signed by a bunch of my coworkers. Love their sense of humor.

So, another 24+ hours before I can go home. I’m looking forward to that more than you can imagine.